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140: Ask David–Hypochondria, Abuse Survivors, Healthy Euphoria, Mania, ADHD, LSD, and more!

140: Ask David–Hypochondria, Abuse Survivors, Healthy Euphoria, Mania, ADHD, LSD, and more!

Do I have ADHD? Is it a real disorder?

Hi podcast fans,

Today we’ve got some terrific questions that you have submitted.

General Questions

  1. Jose and Bri both asked: How would you treat hypochondria?
  2. Christian: How would you treat an abuse survivor? I’ve heard that talk therapy is inadequate for healing trauma!
  3. Ted: Is there such a thing as healthy euphoria?
  4. Hillary: Would you do a podcast covering the treatment of mania?
  5. Jim: I think I have ADHD, but some doctors claim it’s not a true diagnosis. What do you think?
  6. Dan: What your thoughts are on LSD in the treatment of depression and anxiety?

I could not get to all of your excellent questions in the time provided. The next time we do Ask David with general questions, we will include these:

  1. Guy: What’s a nervous breakdown?
  2. Rob: How would you treat a field goal kicker who’s afraid of missing the winning field goal? Would you use positive visualizations?
  3. Michael: How would you treat someone with the fear of aging? I turn 60 in a few months!
  4. Hidem: How fast is fast? You seem to get super-fast recoveries from your patients most of the time. How about other therapists? How rapidly does the average patient recover>
  5. Rubens: What you can do when you’re upset but can’t identify any negtaive thoughts?

Next week, our Ask David will focus on questions about relationship conflicts and problems. Rhonda and I have lots of other cool programs planned in upcoming weeks.

Thanks for tuning in today, and over the past months. We will hit one million downloads in a week or two (this is April, 2019). Rhonda, Fabrice, and I deeply appreciate your support!

David and Rhonda

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

FOUR COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

Coming in less than one week. Act fast if you want to reserve a seat!

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. IT IS LESS THAN ONE WEEK AWAY! Our Sunday workshops can be tremendously rewarding, so consider attending if you are interested.

The last Sunday workshop in February was really fun! We are SOLD OUT fin person, but still have spots online, and you can join us from anywhere in the world. Register soon if you are interested, as the online slots are also limited.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

We will have expert trainers in person as well, including David and Jill!

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

There will be three awesome intensives
for you this summer and fall!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary, Canada four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

November 4 – 7, 2019
Atlanta, Georgia four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

Video Problems with the David and Jill Show Explained :(

Video Problems with the David and Jill Show Explained :(

Dear colleague,

Jill and I were SO excited to do our David and Jill Show yesterday, Sunday, at 3 PM. Sadly, the BeLive TV software simply DID NOT WORK. We started really early, well ahead of the scheduled show time, but I could not bring Jill into the broadcast studio. We were really angry, panicky and disappointed for all of you. I apologize deeply. Sadly, I had to delete the video.

I was so ticked off last night I did not get a whole lot of sleep! Jill and Lisa Kelley also felt the situation pretty intensely.

We will have to reevaluate whether or not we are going to be able to use that software in the future, as the problems have gotten much worse of late. We got a help person live, but she could not figure it out, either. Yikes!

However, DO NOT DESPAIR. We will bring you this topic yet, but may do it as a Feeling Good Podcast, as our recording and publishing system is far more more reliable.

So stay tuned for our show on–

Can the Five Secrets of Effective Communication Help Us in this Era of Intensely Polarized Politics?

I’ll let you know once it’s recorded and scheduled. 🙂

Jill, Lisa and I deeply appreciate your interest and support over the past year or more, and we really want to do stellar work for you.

David

* * *

TWO COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of unwanted habits and addictions on Sunday, February 10. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested.  We quickly sold out in-person but you can still join online.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERTS TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE GROUP IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

During the program, you will have the chance to work on one of your own habits / addictions  so you will get the double benefit of learning cool new treatment techniques and doing some personal healing at the same time!

You will develop a deeper understanding of Outcome and Process Resistance, and you will learn how to deal with this twin-horned Devil. As you know, TEAM-CBT features many innovative techniques to reduce Outcome and Process Resistance.

Here’s the BAD news. Very few therapists have the skills, insights, or mind-set to deal with resistance, and this is the main cause of therapeutic failure in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, relationship problems, and habits and addictions.

Here’s the GOOD news. Once you acquire these skills, your clinical effectiveness will soar!

Here are the specifics–

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend!

Don’t miss out learning from David Burns, MD, one of the great pioneers of Cognitive Therapy, and from the fabulous, Jill Levitt, PhD, Director of Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, CA!

TEAM-CBT Methods for Unwanted Habits and Addictions: Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

WHEN: February 10th, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES!
7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? In my opinion (Dr. Burns), although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from. Please check with the Feeling Good Institute if you want to attend.

CAN I WORK ON MY OWN HABIT / ADDICTION? Absolutely!
Heal yourself, heal your clients!

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

You will also:

  • Learn new skills to reduce resistance and boost the motivation to change. This is THE key to the treatment of any habit or addiction.
  • Learn how to use Dr. Burns’ powerful Decision-Making Tool and Triple Paradox Technique.
  • Practice and master the Devil’s Advocate Technique to help you and your patients overcome difficult-to-stop habits and addictions to drugs, alcohol, overeating, procrastination, and more.

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

This wonderful workshop will stream live and is easily accessible from anywhere in the world on any device with WiFi. To join, just click on the link provided before the workshop.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

* * *

If you can’t join us for the addictions workshop, consider this cool program on the treatment of anxiety disorders in the spring. But register soon if you want to attend in person, as the in person slots are limited.

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Stay tuned for more details or check it out now!

Jill and david 2

Video Problems with the David and Jill Show Explained :(

Friendly Reminder–the David and Jill Show Returns this Sunday, January 13, 2019!

Can the Five Secrets of Effective Communication Help Us in this Era of Intensely Polarized Politics?

After a hiatus for the holidays, the Sunday FB Live David and Jill Show will return with an exciting and controversial topic. How can we communicate more effectively with friends, family and loved ones who are on the opposite side of the political divide?

Clearly, our nation is split into intensely polarized political factions, and we can all feel the frustration. Passions on both sides of the divide are strong and often filled with hostility and mistrust. Communicate with colleagues, friends and loved ones with radically different political beliefs can be challenging, to say the least.

Jill and I  will respond to a podcast fan who kindly allowed us to share her intensely painful conflict with her mother on the show. One is an ardent Trump fan, and the other is an equally passionate anti-Trumper, and they are both shedding plenty of tears and struggling with feelings of intense anger and exasperation!

Can you identify with similar conflicts in your own family or circle of friends? I know that I can, and it can be extremely painful and disturbing.

Is there any hope? What can we do? Tune in this Sunday and find out!

Jill and I will give you our take on how to communicate more effectively with friends and loved ones in the next David and Jill Show! We will also highlight common errors that our podcast fan is making–and these are errors that you are likely to make, too!

Watch FB Live on Sunday, January 13, 2019,
at 3 PM (PT) for an hour with David and Jill!

If you join us live you can ask questions and make comments. However, you can also watch anytime later on since the show will be recorded and available indefinitely on my public FB Page.

Dr. Levitt is Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good institute in Mt. View, California. She is a co-director of my (totally free) weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, and is absolutely superb. When we work together, the chemistry can be pure magic. Contact us if you live in the Bay Area and would like to join our weekly group!

Jill and david 2

* * *

TWO COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of unwanted habits and addictions on Sunday, February 10. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested.  We quickly sold out in-person but you can still join online.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERTS TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE GROUP IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

During the program, you will have the chance to work on one of your own habits / addictions  so you will get the double benefit of learning cool new treatment techniques and doing some personal healing at the same time!

You will develop a deeper understanding of Outcome and Process Resistance, and you will learn how to deal with this twin-horned Devil. As you know, TEAM-CBT features many innovative techniques to reduce Outcome and Process Resistance.

Here’s the BAD news. Very few therapists have the skills, insights, or mind-set to deal with resistance, and this is the main cause of therapeutic failure in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, relationship problems, and habits and addictions.

Here’s the GOOD news. Once you acquire these skills, your clinical effectiveness will soar!

Here are the specifics–

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend!

Don’t miss out learning from David Burns, MD, one of the great pioneers of Cognitive Therapy, and from the fabulous, Jill Levitt, PhD, Director of Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, CA!

TEAM-CBT Methods for Unwanted Habits and Addictions: Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

WHEN: February 10th, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES!
7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? In my opinion (Dr. Burns), although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from. Please check with the Feeling Good Institute if you want to attend.

CAN I WORK ON MY OWN HABIT / ADDICTION? Absolutely!
Heal yourself, heal your clients!

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

You will also:

  • Learn new skills to reduce resistance and boost the motivation to change. This is THE key to the treatment of any habit or addiction.
  • Learn how to use Dr. Burns’ powerful Decision-Making Tool and Triple Paradox Technique.
  • Practice and master the Devil’s Advocate Technique to help you and your patients overcome difficult-to-stop habits and addictions to drugs, alcohol, overeating, procrastination, and more.

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

This wonderful workshop will stream live and is easily accessible from anywhere in the world on any device with WiFi. To join, just click on the link provided before the workshop.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

* * *

If you can’t join us for the addictions workshop, consider this cool program on the treatment of anxiety disorders in the spring. But register soon if you want to attend in person, as the in person slots are limited.

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Stay tuned for more details or check it out now!

Video Problems with the David and Jill Show Explained :(

The (Totally Free) David and Jill Show Returns this Sunday, January 13, 2019!

Can the Five Secrets of Effective Communication Help Us in this Era of Intensely Polarized Politics?

After a hiatus for the holidays, the Sunday FB Live David and Jill Show will return with an exciting and controversial topic. How can we communicate more effectively with friends, family and loved ones who are on the opposite side of the political divide?

Clearly, our nation is split into intensely polarized political factions, and we can all feel the frustration. Passions on both sides of the divide are strong and often filled with hostility and mistrust. Communicate with colleagues, friends and loved ones with radically different political beliefs can be challenging, to say the least.

Jill and I  will respond to a podcast fan who kindly allowed us to share her intensely painful conflict with her mother on the show. One is an ardent Trump fan, and the other is an equally passionate anti-Trumper, and they are both shedding plenty of tears and struggling with feelings of intense anger and exasperation!

Can you identify with similar conflicts in your own family or circle of friends? I know that I can, and it can be extremely painful and disturbing.

Is there any hope? What can we do? Tune in this Sunday and find out!

Jill and I will give you our take on how to communicate more effectively with friends and loved ones in the next David and Jill Show! We will also highlight common errors that our podcast fan is making–and these are errors that you are likely to make, too!

Watch FB Live on Sunday, January 13, 2019,
at 3 PM (PT) for an hour with David and Jill!

If you join us live you can ask questions and make comments. However, you can also watch anytime later on since the show will be recorded and available indefinitely on my public FB Page.

Dr. Levitt is Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good institute in Mt. View, California. She is a co-director of my (totally free) weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, and is absolutely superb. When we work together, the chemistry can be pure magic. Contact us if you live in the Bay Area and would like to join our weekly group!

Jill and david 2

Two Common Five Secrets Errors: Don’t Sound like a Parrot! When to Help and When to Listen.

Two Common Five Secrets Errors: Don’t Sound like a Parrot! When to Help and When to Listen.

 

Dear colleague,

I recently received two emails from a podcast listener named Angela who had excellent questions about the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. Feel free to send me your emails with questions as well!

If you are having trouble using the Five Secrets, the most powerful way to get great feedback is to think of a specific interaction that did not go well. Then if you will send me an example of exactly what the other person said to you, and exactly what you said next, Fabrice and I can give you some hopefully good feedback on what went wrong and how to correct it!

Anyway, let’s see what’s on Angela’s mind . . . .

David

* * *

Hi Dr. Burns,

I have two questions based on your recent podcasts on the Five Secrets of Effective Communication.

1. I’m having trouble with “I Feel” Statements. In fact, I really dislike it when someone says to me, “I can see how you must feel ____”. It sounds so clinical to me! How can I use this technique in a more casual way that reflects empathy without sounding artificial.

2. I Just finished listening to podcast 067 on empathy. You mentioned that one of the errors is trying to correct someone’s cognitive distortions when they are upset. I understand that would interfere with the empathy and listening, but at what point in the conversation is it OK to bring solutions to the conversation?

For example, I was teaching a group of youth and they were talking about all the problems in the church. I let them talk for a bit, but then I directed them by asking what they thought they could do to create solutions. I am second guessing myself now, because I wonder if I may have not had the right empathy for that situation.

Angela

* * * 

Hi Angela,

Thank you for both excellent questions. It really enhances our podcasts when you ask questions. Brings things to life, and allows us to go into more depth.

Fabrice is out on a much needed break, and won’t return for about six weeks or so. The podcasts will continue each week, however, since we have pre-recorded enough ahead of time. I will address your questions here, so you won’t have to wait.

How can I avoid sounding phony or “clinical”?

Let’s look at your first question. The statement, “I can see how you must feel ____” is one of the many errors people make with Thought and Feeling Empathy. You are right in finding that annoying! If you sound “clinical” or “canned” when you use any of the Five Secrets, it probably won’t be very effective, as you know, and will probably backfire. Thought and Feeling Empathy have to be genuine and come from the heart. Sadly, many people are looking for simple gimmicks or formulas, and they don’t get really great responses from others.

If you give a specific example of something the other person said to you, and what you said next, I would gladly make suggestions for how to improve your response! This type of exchange is exactly what is need to make this a better learning experience.

However, just in general, I can make a few suggestions:

  1. First, what you refer to as an “I Feel” Statement is actually Feeling Empathy. An “I Feel” Statement is where you express your own feelings. Feeling Empathy is where you acknowledge how the other person may be feeling.
  2. When you are acknowledging someone else’s feelings, it is rarely or never wise to say, “You must be feeling X, Y, and Z,” because the person may NOT feel that way. In addition, a statement like this has the danger of sounding like you are some kind of expert, and the other person may even feel judged and then respond defensively. So your annoyance, in my opinion, is entirely justified!

I prefer to say something like this:

“Given what you just said, I wouldn’t be surprised if you might be feeling A, B and C, and for good reason. Can you tell me more about how you are feeling?” (A, B, and C would be words for the Feeling Words chart.)

This response combines Feeling Empathy with Inquiry, and sounds a bit more humble and respectful, at least to my ear.

  1. In addition, I almost always try to include an “I Feel” Statement when I’m using Thought and Feeling Empathy, so I will sound human, and not like a robot or a parrot, simply repeating the other person’s words. Here’s an example:

“It’s painful for me to hear that you’ve been having such a hard time lately because I like you and have a lot of respect for you. (Stroking; “I Feel” Statement) You say you’ve been feeling panicky, depressed and angry about the pressure and lack of support at work. (Feeling Empathy) I’d like to hear more about what’s been going on, and what it’s been like for you. (Inquiry)”

When Should I Help? When Should I Listen?

Now I’ll address your second question about helping vs. listening, and when to do what. When I’m working with patients who feel depressed, anxious, or angry, I do pure empathy until they give me an “A” on empathy. Then I ask if they want help with anything they’ve been talking about, and if this a good time to roll up our sleeves and get to work.

If the patient says he or she DOES want help and IS ready to get to work, I ask what he or she wants help with. That’s because patients may discuss a variety of problems during the Empathy phase of the session (or conversation if it is with a friend or family member.)

Once he or she states what problem he or she wants to work on, I go through the five steps of Paradoxical Agenda Setting so as to melt away the patient’s resistance prior to using any methods to help the patient.

The difficulty, potentially, with the approach you took is the high likelihood that the kids you were working with will fell you represent “authority” and that you are trying to sell them on your own thinking and values, rather than honoring their complaints about the church, which were likely valid! They didn’t really ask you to help them find solutions to these problems–that was YOUR agenda. Whenever I impose my own agenda on a group or individual, it tends not to work very well.

Paradoxical Agenda Setting is challenging to learn, but extremely powerful. Here are some suggestions if you want to learn more:

  1. My psychotherapy eBook (entitled Tools, Not Schools, of Therapy) might be helpful to you. You can click here for the order form if you are interested.
  2. An online TEAM-CBT course could help. I listed two yesterday.
  3. If you are in the Bay Area, I offer unlimited weekly free psychotherapy training at Stanford. Click here for more information on times, locations, and individuals to contact for free or paid, in person or online, TEAM-CBT training groups.
  4. I offer workshops on TEAM-CBT around the US and Canada. One of the very best is my summer intensive at the South San Francisco Training Center. Watch my website workshop page for updates of topics and locations.
  5. You could find a mentor for supervision and consultation at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, California. They also have a TEAM-CBT Certification program which is excellent!

David

 

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