The Solution to Tuesday Tip (#1)*

The Solution to Tuesday Tip (#1)*

This was my “puzzle” (the paradoxical Tuesday tip) for yesterday:

The attempt to solve a relationship / marital problem is the cause of nearly all relationship problems. The refusal to solve the problem is nearly always the solution.

 

Many of you commented, and all had good things to say, which cheered me up and gave me some optimism that this new feature, suggested by Lisa Kelley, might be fun or useful for some of you! That’s great!

Two or three folks were really close to the target, and I would have to say, got it right.

Here is my explanation. Often two people in a relationship get frustrated because they cannot solve some problem they are kind of arguing about. For example, I once treated two divorced individuals fell in love and got married. They adored each other. But the woman, in her 30’s, really wanted to have a baby, since her first husband, who dumped her, was against having children.

However, her new husband was a super handsome and loving man who was 15 years her senior, and he already had five children from his first marriage, and he did not want any more. So they kept debating about the so-called “correct” solution to this problem. And, of course, they just kept running around in circles.

In a situation like this, there are really two different levels that one can think about when you view the interaction between the two people. On one level, you have the so-called “real” problem, which is: should we, or should we not, have a child? So you argue about what is “fair,” what is “just” and what will work out the “best.” etc. That is level one, the “content” of the argument, the intellectual side, you might say.

And the attempt to solve this “problem” IS the problem. Because, on some level, it CANNOT be “solved.”

But at the other level, you have a “river of emotion” flowing underneath the surface. She has many strong feelings, of sadness, of love for her new husband, of strong desires to be a mother, of frustration, of abandonment, of anxiety about growing old and childless, and so forth. He also has many strong feelings, of love for her, frustration, oppression, sadness, and anxiety about being overwhelmed just at the time of life he was looking forward to some freedom, to name just a few.

So the “solution” is to STOP trying to solve the problem, and instead to use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication to listen to the other person’s perspective, to acknowledge the truth in it, and especially to acknowledge how he or she is feeling, and to share, respectfully, your own feelings. The goal becomes the sharing of feelings, and listening to feelings, in an attitude of openness and respect, rather than compulsively arguing about the “best solution.”

This means letting go of feelings of entitlement, and focusing on how your partner is thinking and feeling. Getting back to a loving relationship. When two people feel loved, in most cases you won’t have to solve the so-called “real problem.” A solution will generally emerge.

So I coached them in how to do this, and we practiced in the office. I gave them the “assignment” to practice communicating, but both must refuse to try to “solve the problem.”

They were motivated because of their love for each other, and did their “homework.”

The wife called me in a state of excitement three weeks later to report that her husband woke up that morning and announced he’d had a sudden change of heart and wanted a baby. Their daughter was born less than a year later.

To learn to use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, I would strongly recommend my book, Feeling Good Together, which you can order through Amazon.com and other booksellers. This book will be helpful to therapists, your patients, and the general public alike. You can also listen to my Feeling Good Podcast series on the Five Secrets as well as the series on Healing Troubled Relationships.

So now you have lots of new tools to use if you want to develop more loving and satisfying relationships with the people you care about!

Hope you enjoyed the first riddle and its solution. Next Tuesday, look for “Tip #2!”

David

* Copyright © 2018 by David D. Burns, MD.

Coming Soon! Live Session Sold Out! Still space online. Register now!

High-Speed TEAM-CBT for Depression and Anxiety Disorders 

I warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal!

You will leave this workshop with renewed confidence as well as specific, powerful tools that you can use right away to improve your clinical outcomes!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested. Online slots are also limited.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

 

 

Amazing Follow-Up from the David and Jill FB Show on Defeating Habits and Addictions (April 15, 2018 show)

Amazing Follow-Up from the David and Jill FB Show on Defeating Habits and Addictions (April 15, 2018 show)

David and Jill Show is back! Treating Habits and Addictions, Part 2

Hi all!

Here is a mind-blowing email I just got from a fan who watched the David and Jill Show (with special guest Mike Christensen) two days ago. I’m sure you’re going to LOVE it!

On the show, we illustrated several powerful TEAM-CBT methods for defeating habits and addictions (especially overeating):

  • Double Paradox
  • Addiction / Habit Log
  • Devil’s Advocate Technique
  • and more.

Next Sunday, April 22, 2018, we will probably discuss the Four “Great Deaths” of the Ego on the David and Jill Show at 3 PM. The Buddha was the first, I believe, to talk about the death of the “self” as the key to enlightenment, but now we have not one, but four separate “great deaths.” We will discuss them from a psychological as well as a spiritual perspective.

And now, here’s is the really cool email I just received from an individual I’ll call “X.”

Respected and Dear Dr. Burns,

Your Facebook live show this Sunday (Apr 15th) was just brilliant! I thought it’ll be a good idea to share my own experience with you regarding my problem with overeating. Please let me know if I’ve made any errors while applying Paradoxical Agenda Setting or Devil’s Advocate Technique. I am getting great results and able to follow a diet plan for last two weeks since I did this. Below is my records of 1. Paradoxical Agenda Setting & 2. Devil’s Advocate. 

Paradoxical Agenda Setting for understanding the benefits of my overeating: 

  • I feel great about my life when I eat whatever I want & that I am in control of my finances. 
  • When I order expensive food in classy restaurant, I feel like I’m a financially superior person, 
  • I don’t need to deal with my anxiety & negative thoughts, instead I can order a lot of delicious food. 
  • I can brag about all the things I’ve eaten & efforts I’ve taken to obtain many fine delicacies.
  • I take pride in my fastidious, obsessive admiration of cuisines & demand respect from people around me while eating or cooking anything. 
  • I love to go to expensive restaurants, flaunting mismatch cloths to pretend I’m some well -heeled, eccentric, powerful member of society with great connections & influence.

 With these advantages in my mind I tried the Devil’s Advocate Technique. Here’s my dialogue with the imaginary tempter, the “Devil.” 

Devil (D): Isn’t this a great morning? Let’s begin with a lovely breakfast from ‘German Bakery’ or Starbucks, tell me where do you want to go? 

Me: Yes, this is a truly great morning. I just love it! I’m feeling really fresh & energetic. It is best to start with finishing off the draft of the paper. I don’t think having a breakfast will be        very helpful now. 

D: Oh!!! How can you work on empty stomach? Let’s got to some classy place & have a breakfast shaming even businessmen. 

Me: I know very well that fasting helps me work better with amazing concentration & deep insight. So it is great to have empty stomach; & since when have I started bothering so much about what other think of me? 

D: No, you will get anxious while dealing with difficulties in course of writing the paper. You need to eat something. A sweet, soft, juicy pastry or cheesy, creamy, rich sandwich will help you relax & get in proper mood. Let’s have some mac & cheese with that amazing Mango baked cheese cake! 

Me: Surely, it does makes me relaxed after having the delicacies you mentioned. But this has unfortunate side effect too, as it makes me feel bloated, tired and sleepy. Also the only proven way to deal with anxiety is to understand and record distorted negative thoughts; then countering them with truth based positive thoughts. This whole process itself is very enlightening and sometimes downright enjoyable! 

D: Stop rambling like a stupid. You are what you eat & if you eat nothing, you are nothing – you can’t afford to eat delicious, expensive food & that’s why you pretend you need to diet. It’s just way to fool everyone including yourself, you are actually hiding your poverty & sub-standard quality of life. 

Me: I do find it difficult to agree with “you are what you eat” statement, can you elaborate on it a bit so I can understand it better? For example, if I eat chicken, then do I become chicken? 

D: This just proves it that you are an idiot, sub-standard person, not worthy of living in this society. Your level of stupidity is unprecedented on this planet. For God’s sake just eat something now or you will kill yourself by starving., you stupid fool!!! 

Me: I totally agree with you about my stupidity & I may add to that, I’m sometimes rather stubborn too and that has caused some disasters in past. But I do like to test things thoroughly before I give up on them. And as you said I’m stupid so I may continue ‘stupidly’ believing that following this diet is helping me till I get results contrary to the belief. 

D: It will be too late by then & you’ll permanently damage your brain & kidneys. I have to force you to eat something, now!  

Me: It is better to take chance with this one and according to my doctor this is not remotely as dangerous as you say it is. Hare-brained me can’t understand everything through logical arguments like you do; so I need to take some real experience. What do you think? 

D: I give up! go kill yourself! You alone will be responsible for your misery. 

Me: Oh, not today, but thanks a ton for the suggestion, and for your concern! 

Listening to your Sunday broadcast I felt compelled to try this technique, which has been very helpful! Apologies for a bit long email, I hope you would get time to read it.  

Once again thank you very much for writing the great books and making all the resource available to everyone. I believe I will get a chance to meet you in person someday.

Sincerely,

X

Some Cool Upcoming Workshops

Coming in May! This one is SOLD OUT in person but we still have PLENTY OF SPACE TO JOIN ONLINE!

May 20th, 2018  Advanced, High-Speed CBT for the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety A one day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt. 6 CE Credits, $135
You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

There are no spots left for the live workshop in Palo Alto, but we still have room for you to join us for the online version. We will have helpers to guide the small group exercises for those online, including the fantastic Mike Christensen.

Coming in June! One of my best two day workshops ever!

“Scared Stiff: Fast, Effective Treatment for Anxiety Disorders”
a two-day workshop Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates
June 4 -5, 2018 Calgary, Canada
June 6 – 7, 2018 Winnipeg, Canada
Mike Christensen and several others will be joining me at both locations to help out with supervision of the small group exercises. You’ll LOVE this workshop and you’ll learn TONS of powerful techniques to treat every type of anxiety. You’ll learn how to heal your clients and your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as well!

I greatly appreciate your support, and hope you will continue to spread the word about TEAM-CBT and www.feelinggood.com. i am trying hard to reach as many people as possible with my free programming and blogs designed to help individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions, as well as the therapists who treat them!

David

David’s Tuesday Tips (#1)*

David’s Tuesday Tips (#1)*

Here’s your paradoxical tip of the day!

The attempt to solve a relationship / marital problem is the cause of nearly all relationship problems. The refusal to solve the problem is nearly always the solution.

Let me know if you like this feature. This is just an experiment! I could “explain” each tip, but i thought it might be more fun for you if I keep them short and a bit mysterious.

Use the Reply / Comment feature below to let us to know how you understand today’s tip.

Thanks!

David

* Copyright © 2018 by David D. Burns, MD.

Coming Soon!

High-Speed TEAM-CBT for Depression and Anxiety Disorders 

I warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal!

You will also leave this workshop with renewed confidence as well as specific, powerful tools that you can use right away to improve your clinical outcomes!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested. Online slots are also limited.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

 

 

084: Role-Play Techniques (Part 2) — Paradoxical Double-Standard Technique

084: Role-Play Techniques (Part 2) — Paradoxical Double-Standard Technique

The is the second podcast on TEAM-CBT role-playing techniques and features the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique. David describes watching Dr. Maxy Maultsby do a demonstration of the Double Standard Technique when he was a psychiatric resident in the 1970s at the University of Pennsylvania medical school. He was quite surprised when the patient, who was severely depressed and suicidal following a break-up with her boyfriend, improved dramatically within an hour. David modified the technique in several ways, and tonight will present what is probably the most powerful way to use this technique.

The technique is based on the idea that most of us operate on a double-standard. When we are upset about some failure, mistake, or inadequacy, we tend to beat up on ourselves mercilessly. But if we were talking to a dear friend with the exact same problem, we’d be far more compassionate and realistic. Once you make the patient aware of this double-standard, you ask if he or she would be willing to talk to himself or herself in the same way he or she would talk to a dear friend.

But the unique feature of the way David does it, is that you, the therapist, “become” a dear friend of the patient, kind of like a long-list identical twin who is actually virtually identical to the patient, but a different person. Then the therapist (playing the role of the friend) describe the problem the patient is struggling as if it is your own problem.

Then you ask the patient what he or she thinks. Typically, the patient will respond with great compassion. Then you, the therapist, cross examine the patient, to make sure what the patient is saying is the absolute, 100% truth. Finally, you ask the patient to record this in the Positive Thoughts column on his or her Daily Mood Log.

While no technique will work for everyone, this one works for many patients if:

  1. You’ve done excellent Empathy first.
  2. You’ve done skillful Paradoxical Agenda Setting to melt away the patient’s Outcome Resistance.
  3. The patient is reasonably compassionate and actually does have a double standard. On rare occasions, you may have a patient who hates himself or herself, who also hates other people. For these patients, the technique will not be effective.

The special guest tonight is Eleanor Scott, a community therapist who is a student in David’s Tuesday group at Stanford, and who has bravely volunteered to help demonstrate teaching techniques once again. (Eleanor was also feature in an Empathy role-play a couple weeks ago.)

Eleanor has brought a partially completed Daily Mood Log to the group, and the Upsetting Event is simply being in the Tuesday group and feeling insecure while trying to learn TEAM-CBT. These feelings are a fairly common, almost universal, among the therapists who attend David’s training groups. Initially, nearly all of them feel intense anxiety, along with a myriad of other negative feelings, such as shame and inadequacy, due to the belief that they are not “good enough,” along with the fear that others in the training group will notice their ineptitude and judge them!

Eleanor’s Negative Thoughts included:

  • I should be learning more quickly.
  • The other students will notice that I don’t know what I’m doing!
  • I’m never going to get this.
  • I don’t know what I’m doing.
  • I sound like an idiot/stupid.
  • I suck!

David explains how the Paradoxical Double-Standard Technique works, and demonstrates it with Eleanor. Eleanor finds a powerful inner voice and quickly blasts all of her Negative Thoughts out of the water.

David cross-examines Eleanor to find out if this amazingly rapid and dramatic change in her Negative Thoughts and feelings was real, or if she was just being “nice” to try to produce a good role-play for David!

Fabrice raps up the podcast with his (as usual) great interview with David and Eleanor, bringing out many of the teaching points during the session.

Follow-up: The day after the recording, Eleanor sent this fantastic email to our training group, and she gave me permission to share it with all of you.

Hi Tuesday groupers,

I wanted to share a success that I had with everyone, especially my ‘newbie’ group.  I received a low grade on an evaluation of a therapy session by a client last week, and I started the session today by discussing this with the client.  I used the Five Secrets of Effective Communication to acknowledge that she wasn’t heard (Disarming Technique) and shared how I felt about the session (“I Feel” Statement). I also asked about what I had missed (Inquiry). Throughout her account, I used Thought and Feeling Empathy.

The connection that was created from this was incredible.  I was able to truly see this client and hear her story and see the amazing grace with which she lives her life (Stroking).

I also think that I was able to truly be present and vulnerable with my client had a lot to do with the amazing work I experienced being a volunteer on the podcast last night.  I can’t thank you enough David… I am STILL feeling good and I’m riding this good feeling as far as it takes me!

If you get a chance… volunteer for the podcasts… it’s such an incredible opportunity for growth!

Thanks,

Eleanor

David’s response: Wow! Way to go, Eleanor! Awesome!

Next week: More of David’s Role-Playing Techniques!

Coming VERY Soon! Advanced, High-Speed TEAM-CBT for the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety 

We warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration and more information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style as a team is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal at all!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

Fabrice and I hope you like our Feeling Good Podcasts, and also hope you can leave some positive comments for us and five star ratings if you like what we’re doing!

Subscribe

At least one listener has had problems leaving an iTunes review from his i-phone, so Fabrice has created some simple to follow instructions if you need help.

 

 

Shaun Loves Externalization of Voices!

Shaun Loves Externalization of Voices!

An Inspired Listener!

Hi everybody,

I got a tremendous email from Shaun, a listener who was inspired by the recent podcast on the Externalization of Voices.  I thought you might also enjoy Shaun’s comments!

Thanks, Shaun! And good luck with whatever career path you pursue!

David

Dr Burns,

The externalization of voices using the acceptance paradox and self-defense paradigm podcast was mind blowing! It shows the irrationality of the patients distortions out load, making them seem even more silly.

I’m a big fan of yours. I read Feeling Good, and the Feeling Good Handbook back in high school when I had some anxiety; which was cured then. Now I’m 33 and a cardiac sonographer, but strongly considering, because of you and TEAM-CBT, going back to school to be a clinical psychologist. I stumbled upon your podcasts and failfully been listening since podcast 3. Each one gets better and better. It gets me super excited and eagerly looking foward to one day, doing TEAM Therapy.

Hope to hear back from you.

Shaun

COMING IN MAY–

High-Speed TEAM-CBT for Depression and Anxiety Disorders 

I warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal!

You will also leave this workshop with renewed confidence as well as specific, powerful tools that you can use right away to improve your clinical outcomes!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested. Online slots are also limited.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

COMING IN JUNE! One of my best two day workshops ever!

“Scared Stiff: Fast, Effective Treatment for Anxiety Disorders”
a two-day workshop Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates
June 4 -5, 2018 Calgary, Canada
June 6 – 7, 2018 Winnipeg, Canada
Mike Christensen and several others will be joining me at both locations to help out with supervision of the small group exercises. You’ll LOVE this workshop and you’ll learn TONS of powerful techniques to treat every type of anxiety. You’ll learn how to heal your clients and your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as well!

I greatly appreciate your support, and hope you will continue to spread the word about TEAM-CBT and www.feelinggood.com. i am trying hard to reach as many people as possible with my free programming and blogs designed to help individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions, as well as the therapists who treat them!

 

David and Jill Show (live FB Broadcast) with Mike Christensen, Returns Today April 15, 2018 at 3 PM (PT)!

David and Jill Show (live FB Broadcast) with Mike Christensen, Returns Today April 15, 2018 at 3 PM (PT)!

David and Jill Show is back! Treating Habits and Addictions, Part 2

Hi all!

Last week, my guest was Stephen Pfleiderer, founder of SF Intervention, and we discussed treatment of individuals with hard-care addictions. Today, along with Dr. Jill Levitt and Mike Christensen, we will discuss practical tools for individuals fighting less severe habits and addictions such as

  • overeating
  • excessive drinking
  • procrastination
  • shopping addictions
  • drugs
  • and more.

We will illustrate several powerful TEAM-CBT methods such as the

  • Double Paradox
  • Addiction / Habit Log
  • Devil’s Advocate Technique
  • and more.

 

Some Cool Upcoming Workshops

Coming in May!

May 20th, 2018  Advanced, High-Speed CBT for the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety A one day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt. 6 CE Credits, $135
You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

There are only a few spots left for the live workshop in Palo Alto, but we still have room for you to join us for the online version. We will have helpers to guide the small group exercises for those online, as well as those who attend in person.

Coming in June! One of my best two day workshops ever!

“Scared Stiff: Fast, Effective Treatment for Anxiety Disorders”
a two-day workshop Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates
June 4 -5, 2018 Calgary, Canada
June 6 – 7, 2018 Winnipeg, Canada
Mike Christensen and several others will be joining me at both locations to help out with supervision of the small group exercises. You’ll LOVE this workshop and you’ll learn TONS of powerful techniques to treat every type of anxiety. You’ll learn how to heal your clients and your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as well!

I greatly appreciate your support, and hope you will continue to spread the word about TEAM-CBT and www.feelinggood.com. i am trying hard to reach as many people as possible with my free programming and blogs designed to help individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions, as well as the therapists who treat them!

David

Brief Hiking Video!

Brief Hiking Video!

 

IMG_3525

Hi colleagues and friends,

Someone sent me this cool brief video of one of our hikes several months ago. You will get a glimpse of what happens. Hope you like it! (When you click on the video link, it may need a half a minute to download before you watch it.)

https://feelinggood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/IMG_0671.mov

On the hikes we do personal work, practice techniques, and do difficult case consultations. We generally hike for three to four hours, and sometimes go out for brunch afterwards. We may have as few as 3 or 4 hikers, or as many as a dozen. The hikes are totally awesome, and we often experience “magic” along the way.

This is our way of “worship,” by being real and doing real healing while we hike. The hikes are the highlight of my week! But I’ve had bronchitis for two weeks, so had to temporarily cancel them. Hope to start up again soon.

The hikes are free and open to anyone in our training groups. Sometimes therapists from around the US visit and join our hikes, too. Let me know if you plan to be in this area on a Sunday and want to join us!

That’s all for now. Not a terribly deep blog, but thought you might enjoy a “peak” into a Sunday hike. As you can see, the people are awesome and the trails are to die for! The healing is pretty mind-blowing, too!

David

Coming Soon!

High-Speed TEAM-CBT for Depression and Anxiety Disorders 

I warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal!

You will also leave this workshop with renewed confidence as well as specific, powerful tools that you can use right away to improve your clinical outcomes!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested. Online slots are also limited.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

 

 

Register for the May 20, 2018 Workshop with David and Jill!

Register for the May 20, 2018 Workshop with David and Jill!

 

David Burns FB Ad-01

Coming Soon!

High-Speed TEAM-CBT for Depression and Anxiety Disorders 

I warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal!

You will also leave this workshop with renewed confidence as well as specific, powerful tools that you can use right away to improve your clinical outcomes!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested. Online slots are also limited.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

 

 

083: Role-Play Techniques (Part 1) — Externalization of Voices / Acceptance Paradox

083: Role-Play Techniques (Part 1) — Externalization of Voices / Acceptance Paradox

This is the first several podcasts on the Role-Playing Techniques David has created. They include:

  • Externalization of Voices (with Acceptance Paradox and Self-Defense Paradigm)
  • Paradoxical Double Standard Technique
  • Feared Fantasy
  • Devil’s Advocate
  • Forced Empathy
  • Man from Mars
  • And more

David’s explains that he began developing role-playing techniques in the early days of cognitive therapy because many of the Beckian techniques, such as Examine the Evidence and the Socratic Technique–while sometimes very helpful, were sometimes a bit dry, and he wanted to include punchier and more powerful and dynamic techniques in his therapeutic toolkit. These role-playing techniques are just one part of what sets TEAM-CBT apart from traditional, Beckian CBT.

Today, he explains and demonstrates the Externalization of Voices, which is always combined with the Self-Defense Paradigm and the Acceptance Paradox. He is joined by Fabrice, of course, and “Sarah,” one of the members of his Tuesday training group at Stanford. Sarah has volunteered to use a personal example in the podcast to help demonstrate the Externalization of Voices.

Sarah has brought a partially complete Daily Mood Log to the session. The Upsetting Event was that Sarah has decided to move to Austin, Texas in two weeks. She has many moderately strong negative feelings about the move, including sadness (30), anxiety and nervousness (75), inadequacy (60), loneliness (75), self-consciousness, and discouragement (70). She also felt stuck and defeated (70). The numbers in parentheses indicate how strong each type of feeling was on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 100 (extremely.)

Her Negative Thoughts include:

  • “All of my friends are ahead of me in life (careers and relationships).”
  • “I should be further along in my career and I should be 100% certain this is the best career for me in the long term.
  • “For the most part, I haven’t helped most of my clients very much.”
  • “My anxiety over the past year indicates that I’m in the wrong profession.”
  • “I’ll never get back in the great shape, physically and emotionally, that I was in three years ago.”
  • “Moving to California set my life back by a year.”
  • “I won’t be able to make new friends in Austin.”
  • “I will be lonely and without friends.”
  • “I won’t be able to cope with stress.”
  • “My therapy skills aren’t good enough,”

and more.  Her belief in many of her Negative thoughts is quite high, in the range of 70% to 100%. However, her belief in one of them, “Moving to California set my life back by a year,” was only 20%.

Although David did not intend this to be a live therapy session, but rather a practice session to demonstrate how the Externalization of Voices works, David does some brief paradoxical Agenda Setting first, since Sarah’s example is real, and not made up. David uses several techniques to melt away Sarah’s Outcome Resistance, including:

  • The Invitation
  • The Miracle Cure Question
  • The Magic Button
  • Positive Reframing

During the Positive Reframing, David asks Sarah two things about her negative thoughts and feelings:

  1. What does each negative thought or feeling reveal about you and your core values that is positive and awesome?
  2. What are some advantages, or benefits, of each negative thought or feeling?

They come up with a list of ten positives, including these: “My negative thoughts and feelings show that

  1. I’m realistic and honest.
  2. I’m thoughtful.
  3. I’m committed to self-care, since I want to have good mental and physical health.
  4. I’m motivated to grow and improve my therapy skills.
  5. I have compassion for my clients and want to give them the best care that I can.
  6. I’m honest about my shortcomings.
  7. I’m humble.
  8. I have high standards.
  9. I want to connect with others.
  10. I’m committed to my career.

They conclude the Paradoxical Agenda Setting with the Magic Dial. Sarah decides to lower her negative feelings f to much lower levels, in the range of 5% to 15%.

Then, David asks Sarah which Negative Thought she wants to work on first. She chose the thought about never being able to get back into top physical and mental shape again. They identify the many cognitive distortions in the thought, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filter, Discounting the Positive, Fortune-Telling, Magnification and Minimization, Emotional Reasoning, Should Statements, and self-Blame.

Then David explains how the Externalization of Voices works, and they launch into the technique. David starts out as the “Negative Sarah,” and attacks her with the Negative Thought she wanted to attack first, using the second-person, “You.” Sarah responds in the role of the “Positive Sarah,” using the first-person, “I.”

Sarah fairly quickly knocks the ball out of the park, and easily crushes the Negative Thought David has attacked her with. Then David attacks Sarah with the rest of her Negative Thoughts, one at a time, doing occasional role-reversals to illustrate different ways to attack the thought. They continue doing role-reversals until Sarah described her victory over each Negative Thought as “huge.”

This only takes a few minutes. Then Sarah re-rates her negative feelings on the Daily Mood Log, and nearly all have been reduced to zero. David cross-examines Sarah to find out if this amazingly rapid and dramatic change was real, or if she was just being “nice” to try to produce a good role-play for David!

Fabrice raps up the podcast with his (as usual) great interview with David and Sarah, bringing out many of the teaching points during the session. He emphasizes that you can actually use many of David’s 50 Methods when doing Externalization of Voices, and points out the power of “Let’s Be Specific” that David demonstrated during the role-playing.

Next week: The Paradoxical Double Standard Technique!

Coming Soon! Advanced, High-Speed TEAM-CBT for the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety 

We warmly invite you to attend this fabulous, one-day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt on Sunday, May 20th, 2018. Click on the link above for registration and more information.

  • 6 CE Credits
  • The cost is $135
  • You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

You will enjoy learning from David and Jill, working together to bring powerful, healing techniques to life in a clear, step-by-step way. Their teaching style as a team is entertaining, funny, lucid, and inspiring. This is a day you will remember fondly!

In the afternoon, you will have the chance to do some personal healing so you can overcome your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. David and Jill promise to bring at least 60% of the audience into a state of spiritual and psychological enlightenment, WITHOUT years of meditation. That’s not a bad deal at all!

You will LOVE this workshop. Seating for those who attend live in Palo Alto will be strictly limited, and seats are filling up fast, so move rapidly if you are interested.

Jill and I hope you can join us!

Fabrice and I hope you like our Feeling Good Podcasts, and also hope you can leave some positive comments for us and five star ratings if you like what we’re doing!

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At least one listener has had problems leaving an iTunes review from his i-phone, so Fabrice has created some simple to follow instructions if you need help.

 

 

Stephen Pfleiderer Featured on the FB Broadcast on Addictions on April 8, 2018

Stephen Pfleiderer Featured on the FB Broadcast on Addictions on April 8, 2018

David’s Sunday FB Broadcast on Addictions with special guest, Stephen Pfleiderer, will be aired live on April 8, 2018, at 3 PM Pacific Time

Hi all!

My dear friend and colleague, Stephen Pfleiderer, will be featured on my live FB Broadcast tomorrow at 3 PM. He will describe his approach to the treatment of addictions, especially drug and alcohol abuse.

Stephen is the founder of SF Interventions and was a long-time member of my Tuesday training group at Stanford. He has also joined me on a great many of my Sunday hikes, as you can see in the picture above, taking at the top of one of the trails.

Stephen has adapted TEAM-CBT to the treatment of substance abuse.  He has expertise working with adolescents and young adults, and also focuses on addiction problems in the workplace. Stephen was recently interviewed as a guest on NPR. His approach is fresh and new. I know you will like Stephen and enjoy the show!

Next week, (April 15) Dr. Jill Levitt, and likely Mike Christensen, will return for the live David and Jill Show on FB at 3 PM. I don’t yet know our agenda, but will let you know before air time. So stay tuned!

David