FEELING GOOD
Posts About Social Anxiety

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134: Smashing Shyness: Part 1 of 2 Consecutive Shows on Social Anxiety

134: Smashing Shyness: Part 1 of 2 Consecutive Shows on Social Anxiety

How to Overcome Shyness

David and Rhonda begin with two emails (among many) from listeners asking for more help on the problem of social anxiety.

Email from “Margaret:”

Hi David,

How do you distinguish a personality disorder – say, for example, Avoidant Personality Disorder, from “just” (and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way) being depressed and anxious?

I ask because I have a strong suspicion that I may be suffering from Avoidant Personality Disorder, and I think if you knew my history you would probably agree that there are strong signs (I have been having problems from my early childhood until now, and I am 30 years old now).

Also, a further question – is it possible to have severe anxiety without feeling like the confrontation with the thing you’re afraid of means you’re going to die? I have isolated myself completely, and I have no social life in any sense of the word – my only real contact with the outside world is through my job, because it is a necessity for living. But it’s not because I think I’m going to die if I hang around people – I just very strongly dislike it and ‘shut down’ or ‘freeze’ due to all the thoughts in my head about being negatively judged and watched, so I prefer to avoid contact with people, and in situations where I’m forced to endure it, I’ll usually find ways to ‘avoid’ or escape the situation. 

There are many ways I do this – since I was very young I’ve had the habit of purposely looking annoyed, so that people would not approach me, even though I secretly wish they would (oh, the paradox..), and at work I will often be listening to music with earphones – both because the music calms my anxiety, and because it makes me appear less ‘available’ to other people. 

In situations where I cannot escape crowds – say, in the canteen during my lunch break – I’ll sit by myself, as far away from everyone else as I can, and leave as soon as I have taken the last bite of my food. In college I would often hide in the bathroom by myself during breaks, or I would avoid interpersonal contact in some other way. And so on and so forth. These are just a few examples – I could give you a million others. 

I am aware of my own behavioral patterns but still feel powerless to change them. It’s like being an observer, observing yourself committing the same mistakes over and over, but with an anxiety so strong that rationality alone is not enough to change the behavior. After 30 years of this, it’s getting old. I have never felt any other way, so I cannot fathom what it means to lead a normal life.

I have never had a friend in any usual sense of the term, and I literally never spend time with anyone in my spare time except for my parents. As a consequence, I have never learned or understood how to make friends, and I have never been in an intimate relationship, or taken part in any of the social activities that are normal to other people (parties, school dances, etc.) The simplest things are rocket science to me. So, I’m interested to know when a person crosses over from “simply” being depressed or anxious into having a personality disorder.

If you use any of this for a future episode I am fine with that – you can even quote me directly. But I only ask that you please don’t use my real name as to not jeopardize my job and so on. Thank you. 🙂

Kind regards,

Margaret

David explains that there is no such thing as “Avoidant Personality Disorder.” It is just an imaginary concept created by the American Psychiatric Association, and is applied to individuals with shyness that is so severe that it causes significant problems in their lives.

And yes, you can definitely deal with mild, moderate, or even extremely severe problems with the TEAM-CBT as well as exercises in my books, such as The Feeling Good Handbook, When Panic Attacks, and Intimate Connections.

They also read an email from “Abdul,” a podcast fan who’s been struggling with shyness.

I’m from Pakistan. Please make podcasts on shyness and public speaking and other anxiety issues.

I have anxiety shyness. My father has also anxiety. I know he is not happy. I also sometime feel exactly like him.

And one of my cousins is very much depressed. He is a cleaner in a garments shop. He always use to pack clothes all the time even if they are kept properly.

Dr burns please guide us. It would be very very helpful.

Sorry if I wrote anything unprofessional.

Thank you.

Several days later, David received an additional email from “Abdul:”

My social anxiety has returned back. In my office I feel very lonely. 

Here my negative thoughts:

  1. I should say something impressive.
  2. I’m good looking so I should not be anxious.
  3. I should talk to girls.
  4. I should say hi to people.
  5. I should mix with people.

Today and next week, David and Rhonda will describe how to treat / overcome shyness using TEAM-CBT. David explains that this is probably his favorite problem to treat, since he himself has struggled with every conceivable form of social anxiety, so he really knows how to defeat this problem. 

But to start out, David and Rhonda want to see how shy YOU are, so they administered David’s Shyness Test verbally to listeners. if you’d like to take the paper and pencil version, click here. You’ll also find the scoring.

How did you do on the Shyness Test?

Now let’s talk about how the treatment works. While you’re listening, you may enjoy following along on this PowerPoint presentation, which I will publish next week as well.

[office src=”https://onedrive.live.com/embed?cid=4C33CD5BBD389DD2&resid=4C33CD5BBD389DD2%21161&authkey=AA4UXd1DxjZGj6I&em=2″ width=”402″ height=”327″]

We’ll publish them next week, too. You’ll find Jason’s Daily Mood Log, the Recovery Circle, the Downward Arrow Technique, and more. These visuals will help your learning!

We always start with a Daily Mood Log, focusing on how you were thinking and feeling at a specific moment when you felt shy. We don’t just throw techniques at patients based on a problem (shyness) or diagnosis (Social Anxiety Disorder). We’re all different, so the treatment is highly individualized. 

Rhonda and David describe a shy young man  named Jason who wanted to flirt with an attractive woman checking groceries when he was inline at his local supermarket on a Saturday. However, he was flooded with Negative Thoughts and feelings, and by the time he got to the front of the line, he was so terrified that he avoided all eye contact with the checker, and didn’t even say a word to her, when she checked his groceries. He left the store feeling like a total loser.

David and Rhonda talk about reducing the Outcome and Process Resistance before trying to “help” Jason, or any one who’s anxious. Outcome Resistance means that Jason may have some pretty strong resistance to recovery, in spite of how much he’s suffered, even if all he had to do was to press a Magic Button and be instantly cured.

Process Resistance, in contrast, means that if Jason does want to recover, he’ll have to use some Interpersonal Exposure Techniques that will be frightening to him. Is he willing to do that if David agrees to treat his shyness?

David and Rhonda illustrate how to do Positive Reframing , listing all the really positive things about Jason’s negative thoughts and feelings.  They encourage listeners to turn off the podcast briefly, and see if they can list some positives before listening to the list that David and Rhonda generated. I’d encourage you to do that, too, while listening. Try it yourself before you see the “answers.”

They discuss how they might issue a Gentle Ultimatum, along with Dangling the Carrot and “Sitting with Open Hands,” to reduce Jason’s Process Resistance. 

Once Jason’s resistance has been reduced, they will go on to the M = Methods of the session, and focus on how to help Jason challenge the Negative Thoughts that Jason had while standing in line waiting to check his groceries.

Next week, they’ll describe the methods they selected and describe what happened when David used them during his session with Jason.

* Copyright ã 1996 by David D. Burns, M.D. Revised, 2019

Thanks for listening!

David and Rhonda

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Berkeley, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Sadly, the Feeling Good Institute wants to limit this workshop to therapists. But you can check out my summer intensives below. Non therapists have attended from time to time, and seemed to enjoy the intensives. I try to teach at a simple, clear, basic level, with little or no jargon.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

Defeat Perfectionism on Today’s David and Jill Show!

Defeat Perfectionism on Today’s David and Jill Show!

Special 90-minute show!

Watch FB Live TODAY, November 11th, 2018,
at 3 PM (PT) with David and Jill!

Join Dr. Jill Levitt and me as we return for our Facebook Live Show today on The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-Defeat! Perfectionism is one of the most common problems we see in clinical practice, and you may struggle with your own perfectionism as well.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

  • I shouldn’t have screwed up!
  • I’m a failure.
  • I should be better than I am.
  • I’m unlovable.
  • I’m more screwed up than my patients!
  • At my age, I should have it more together.
  • I’m a bad mother (or father, or therapist, etc.)
  • My presentation was only okay. Darn it! I should have hit it out of the park!
  • I’m just average. There’s nothing really special about me.
  • If people found out about how anxious and insecure I am, they’d judge or reject me.
  • If you can’t do something perfectly, there’s no point in doing it at all.
  • Your worthwhileness as a human being depends on your productivity, intelligence, and achievements.
  • All my parents care about is my grades. They don’t really love me for who I am.

Perfectionism can triggers clinical depression and feelings of inferiority and loneliness as well as social anxiety, performance anxiety (e.g. writer’s block), OCD (compulsive checking, cleaning arranging, etc.), eating disorders, and the addiction to work.

Is perfectionism necessarily a bad thing? Maybe it’s a good thing! Where would we be without Thomas Edison, for example? Tune in Sunday and find out!

The show will be chock full of real and inspiring cases as well as helpful treatment techniques. This David and Jill Show will be geared toward therapists and the general public alike, including teenagers and adults.

Here’s an approximate and imperfect outline of today’s show

  1. What is perfectionism? How does neurotic perfectionism differ from the healthy pursuit of excellence?
    1. The woman who scrubbed her bedroom floor until it had to be replaced.
  2. What’s perceived perfectionism?
  3. The Self-Defeating Beliefs (e.g. “Self-Esteem Equations”) that trigger perfectionism:
    1. I must be perfect in order to be happy.
    2. If I’m not perfect then I can’t be happy.
    3. People won’t love me if I’m damaged or flawed, or if I screw up.
  4. How is the concept of perfection promoted in our culture?
    1. In the media
    2. In our child rearing practices
    3. In sports
    4. Motivational speakers at sales conferences
      1. You must be number ONE!
    5. In our societal values
      1. Calvinist work ethic: You ARE what you DO.
    6. What are the cognitive distortions trigger perfectionism?
      1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
        1. My workshop with Aaron Beck at ACBT
      2. Mental Filter / Discounting the Positive
        1. The Cincinnati talk show host
      3. Mind-Reading
      4. Magnification
      5. Should Statements
    7. Personal examples
      1. David’s early therapy career
      2. Jill’s examples
    8. Tools to overcome perfectionism
      1. Specificity / Daily Mood Log
        1. Need a nice example
      2. Magic Dial / Positive Reframing
        1. What does your perfectionism show about you that’s positive and awesome? What are some benefits of your perfectionism?
        2. Would a Cost-Benefit Analysis be useful also. Some overlap with Positive Reframing.
      3. The Semantic Technique
      4. The Experimental Technique
        1. The attorney who was afraid to lose a case in court.
      5. The Pleasure / Perfectionism Balance Sheet
        1. The physician who thought he had to perfect.
      6. Externalization of Voices / Acceptance Paradox
        1. Can use some of the bulleted thoughts listed above that are common among therapists as well as their patients
      7. Feared Fantasy
      8. Dare to be average!
        1. David’s writer’s block when trying to revise Feeling Good

This is one show you WON’T WANT TO MISS!

We hope you can join us live. However, the show will be recorded, as usual, so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page! Usually the show is an hour, but we’ll do a special, extended, 90-minute show for this cool topic!

Dr. Levitt is Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good institute in Mt. View, California. She is a co-director of my weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, and is absolutely superb. When we work together, the chemistry can be pure magic (most of the time, but not always!) The photo below was at taken at our recent Sunday workshop on Advanced TEAM-CBT techniques.

Jill and david 2

David

Here in some exciting upcoming workshops for you–

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–
Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Treatment Techniques
that Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018–San Francisco, CA (in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, Portland, Oregon (in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed psychiatrists and teachers!

Sponsored by PESI
To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

December, 2018

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

I will be giving a Keynote Address on

Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30 – 3:30 PM

plus a two-hour workshop on Friday, December 7, 2018 from 10:45 AM – 12:45, with Dr. Jill Levitt on

Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

plus two other presentations at this fantastic event.

Hiking Report / Photos

Hiking Report / Photos

Hi everybody,

I have not shared any of Maryam Hamidi’s fabulous photos from our Sunday hikes recently, so decided to post some for you today. We had eight brave hikers, and some really amazing things happened as we were doing personal work and case consultation along the way.

We were pleased that Dr. Mark Noble from the University of Rochester was able to join us once again. Some of you may have heard him on our Podcast #100 on “TEAM-CBT and the Brain.” He is currently working on a book on that title, and has generously volunteered to contribute preview chapter in my upcoming book.

I hope you enjoy these beautiful pics!

IMG_6131

IMG_6125

IMG_6118

IMG_6123

IMG_6117

Here in some exciting upcoming workshops for you–

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–
Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Treatment Techniques
that Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018–San Francisco, CA (in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, Portland, Oregon (in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed psychiatrists and teachers!

Sponsored by PESI
To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

December, 2018

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

I will be giving a Keynote Address on

Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30 – 3:30 PM

plus a two-hour workshop on Friday, December 7, 2018 from 10:45 AM – 12:45, with Dr. Jill Levitt on

Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

plus two other presentations at this fantastic event.

Overcome Perfectionism on the David and Jill Show, Nov 11, 2018!

Overcome Perfectionism on the David and Jill Show, Nov 11, 2018!

Special 90-minute show!

Watch FB Live on Sunday, November 11th, 2018,
at 3 PM (PT) fr with David and Jill!

Join Dr. Jill Levitt and me as we return for our next Facebook Live Show! We will focus on perfectionism, a problem that probably plagues you and your patients as well. In fact, perfectionism is one of the most common problems we see in clinical practice, and most of us struggle with our own perfectionism as well. Perfectionism is a major cause of depression as well as social anxiety, crippling performance anxiety, and more.

Here’s the rough preview of our show.

Do you or your patients reach for the stars and end up grasping air? Perfectionism is one of the most common problems we see in clinical practice, and most mental health professionals at times struggle with their own perfectionism as well.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

  • I shouldn’t have screwed up!
  • I’m a failure.
  • I should be better than I am.
  • I’m unlovable.
  • I’m more screwed up than my patients!
  • At my age, I should have it more together.
  • I’m a bad mother (or father, or therapist, etc.)
  • My presentation was only okay. Darn it! I should have hit it out of the park!
  • I’m just average. There’s nothing really special about me.
  • If people found out about how anxious and insecure I am, they’d judge or reject me.
  • If you can’t do something perfectly, there’s no point in doing it at all.
  • Your worthwhileness as a human being depends on your productivity, intelligence, and achievements.
  • All my parents care about is my grades. They don’t really love me for who I am.

Perfectionism triggers clinical depression and feelings of inferiority as well as many anxiety disorders, such as social anxiety, performance anxiety (e.g. writer’s block), OCD (compulsive checking, cleaning arranging, etc.), and more.

Perfectionism has also been implicated in eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, although the causal relationships are not entirely clear, plays a role in the addiction to work, and is often associated with loneliness.

But is perfectionism necessarily a bad thing? What’s the difference between neurotic perfectionism and the healthy pursuit of excellence? Tune in Sunday and find out!

The show will be chock full of real and inspiring cases as well as helpful treatment techniques. This David and Jill Show will be geared toward therapists and the general public alike, including teenagers and adults.

Outline of the Show

  1. What is perfectionism? How does neurotic perfectionism differ from the healthy pursuit of excellence?
    1. The woman who scrubbed her bedroom floor until it had to be replaced.
  2. What’s perceived perfectionism?
  3. The Self-Defeating Beliefs (e.g. “Self-Esteem Equations”) that trigger perfectionism:
    1. I must be perfect in order to be happy.
    2. If I’m not perfect then I can’t be happy.
    3. People won’t love me if I’m damaged or flawed, or if I screw up.
  4. How is the concept of perfection promoted in our culture?
    1. In the media
    2. In our child rearing practices
    3. In sports
    4. Motivational speakers at sales conferences
      1. You must be number ONE!
    5. In our societal values
      1. Calvinist work ethic: You ARE what you DO.
    6. What are the cognitive distortions trigger perfectionism?
      1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
        1. My workshop with Aaron Beck at ACBT
      2. Mental Filter / Discounting the Positive
        1. The Cincinnati talk show host
      3. Mind-Reading
      4. Magnification
      5. Should Statements
    7. Personal examples
      1. David’s early therapy career
      2. Jill’s examples
    8. Tools to overcome perfectionism
      1. Specificity / Daily Mood Log
        1. Need a nice example
      2. Magic Dial / Positive Reframing
        1. What does your perfectionism show about you that’s positive and awesome? What are some benefits of your perfectionism?
        2. Would a Cost-Benefit Analysis be useful also. Some overlap with Positive Reframing.
      3. The Semantic Technique
      4. The Experimental Technique
        1. The attorney who was afraid to lose a case in court.
      5. The Pleasure / Perfectionism Balance Sheet
        1. The physician who thought he had to perfect.
      6. Externalization of Voices / Acceptance Paradox
        1. Can use some of the bulleted thoughts listed above that are common among therapists as well as their patients
      7. Feared Fantasy
      8. Dare to be average!
        1. David’s writer’s block when trying to revise Feeling Good

This is one show you WON’T WANT TO MISS!

The David and Jill show is usually on the first Sunday in every month, but this month it will be on the second Sunday (November 11, not November 4). We hope you can join us live. However, the show will be recorded, as usual, so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page! usually the show is an hour, but we’ll do a special, extended, 90-minute show for this cool topic!

Dr. Levitt is Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good institute in Mt. View, California. She is a co-director of my weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, and is absolutely superb. When we work together, the chemistry can be pure magic (most of the time, but not always!) The photo below was at taken at our recent Sunday workshop on Advanced TEAM-CBT techniques.

Jill and david 2

Here in some exciting upcoming workshops for you–

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–
Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Treatment Techniques
that Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018–San Francisco, CA (in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, Portland, Oregon (in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed psychiatrists and teachers!

Sponsored by PESI
To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

December, 2018

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

I will be giving a Keynote Address on

Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30 – 3:30 PM

plus a two-hour workshop on Friday, December 7, 2018 from 10:45 AM – 12:45, with Dr. Jill Levitt on

Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

plus two other presentations at this fantastic event.

The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-Defeat–On the David and Jill Show, Nov 11, 2018!

The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-Defeat–On the David and Jill Show, Nov 11, 2018!

Watch FB Live on Sunday, November 11th, 2018,
at 3 PM (PT) for a full hour with David and Jill!

Join Dr. Jill Levitt and me as we return for our next Facebook Live Show! We will focus on perfectionism, a problem that probably plagues you and your patients as well. In fact, perfectionism is one of the most common problems we see in clinical practice, and most of us struggle with our own perfectionism as well. Perfectionism is a major cause of depression as well as many of the  anxiety disorders, such as social anxiety and crippling performance anxiety.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar:

  • I shouldn’t have screwed up!
  • I’m a failure.
  • I should be better than I am.
  • I’m unlovable.
  • I’m more screwed up than my patients!
  • At my age, I should have it more together.
  • I’m a bad mother (or father, or therapist, etc.)
  • My presentation was only okay. Darn it! I should have hit it out of the park!
  • I’m just average. There’s nothing really special about me.
  • If people found out about how anxious and insecure I am, they’d judge or reject me.
  • If you can’t do something perfectly, there’s no point in doing it at all.
  • Your worthwhileness as a human being depends on your productivity, intelligence, and achievements.
  • All my parents care about is my grades. They don’t really love me for who I am.

What’s the difference between neurotic perfectionism and the healthy pursuit of excellence? What are the cognitive distortions that cause perfectionism? What does your perfectionism show about you that’s positive and awesome? What are some of the benefits of perfectionism? What’s the difference between Perfectionism and Perceived Perfectionism? How can you overcome perfectionism? What does “Dare to be Average” mean? That sounds awful!

Tune in Sunday and find out! The show will be chock full of real and inspiring cases and treatment techniques. This David and Jill Show will be geared toward therapists and the general public alike, including teenagers and adults.

This is one show you WON’T WANT TO MISS!

David’s cover feature on perfectionism in Psychology Today Magazine in 1980 was the most popular article in the history of that magazine. Perfectionism still plagues tens of millions of Americans, and countless more world wide. Is there a solution, or escape, from this trap? Do we even WANT a solution?

The David and Jill show is usually on the first Sunday in every month, but this month it will be on the second Sunday (November 11, not November 4). We hope you can join us live. However, the show will be recorded, as usual, so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page!

Dr. Levitt is Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good institute in Mt. View, California. She is a co-director of my weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, and is absolutely superb. When we work together, the chemistry can be pure magic (most of the time, but not always!) The photo below was at taken at our recent Sunday workshop on Advanced TEAM-CBT techniques.

Jill and david 2

Here in some exciting upcoming workshops for you–

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–
Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Treatment Techniques
that Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018–San Francisco, CA (in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, Portland, Oregon (in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed psychiatrists and teachers!

Sponsored by PESI
To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

December, 2018

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

I will be giving a Keynote Address on

Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30 – 3:30 PM

plus a two-hour workshop on Friday, December 7, 2018 from 10:45 AM – 12:45, with Dr. Jill Levitt on

Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

plus two other presentations at this fantastic event.