* ©2013 by David D. Burns, MD
Do not copy, publish or reproduce without the written permission of Dr. Burns.
I’m going to start out with a few postings on the popular subject of how to boost your self-esteem and overcome feelings of worthlessness, inferiority, or inadequacy. These feelings are among the most important symptoms of depression, and most people fall into black holes from time to time when you begin to feel that you’re not as good as you should be.
Therapists are not immune from these feelings, either. In fact, when I give workshops for mental health professionals around the US and Canada, it seems that the vast majority of the therapists who attend have struggled with feelings of depression and anxiety. Cartoons often focus on the theme of therapists who are nuttier than their patients. There’s a lot of truth in that. Many people pursue a career as a psychotherapist primarily because of their own suffering, in the hopes of finding personal healing along the way. And there’s certainly no shame in that. In fact, therapists who have experience profound personal healing have much more to offer their patients than simply tools and techniques. They can say, “I know how painful your suffering is, because I’ve been there myself. And I also know how to show you the way out of the woods, so you can regain joy and self-esteem again.”
To get the ball rolling, I’m providing some information from a short interview I did on this topic for a Toronto newspaper recently. I pointed out that when you’re experiencing low self-esteem, the culprit is always your thoughts. You are giving yourself negative messages, like
- “I should be better than I am,” or
- “I shouldn’t have made that mistake,” or
- “I’m inferior–there’s really nothing special about me.”
You may even tell yourself that you’re defective.
Although you probably believe these painful thoughts with all your heart, they are, in fact, distorted and illogical. You’re telling yourself things that aren’t really true. Depression is the world’s oldest con. You’re probably involved in All-or-Nothing Thinking, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Emotional Reasoning, Should Statements, and Self-Blame, to name just a few of the “cognitive distortions” that trigger depression and anxiety.
Here’s the good news–when you change the way you THINK you can change the way you FEEL. To find out how, check out one of my books, such as Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy or The Feeling Good Handbook. Numerous research studies have revealed that roughly two thirds of the people who read one of these books and do the exercises experience substantial, and even dramatic, improvements in mood and outlook within four weeks, even without antidepressants or therapy. These studies included individuals who were moderately to severely depressed.
What was equally startling was that the effects seemed to stick–long-term follow-up studies revealed that patients felt even better at their three-year follow-up evaluation. So although these books are not panaceas that will cure all depression, they can certainly help. And it’s also good news that we now have powerful, fast-acting, drug-free treatments for depression and all of the anxiety disorders as well.
Most of us fall into black holes of self-doubt from time to time. Recovery from those feelings is one of the greatest feelings a human being can experience. I’d love to show you how to have this experience, too.
For more on overcoming depression and low self-esteem, stay tuned.
Hi David,
Nice writeup.
Not sure though but, I like to believe that some of great athletes in competive sports like body building, Boxing, athletes might br using lot of shoulding to push them. If that is true how do they make it? Why aren’t they disturbed by that? Did you get a chance to work with such athletes. Thanks
Rajesh
If something is working for you, no need to change it. I work with people who are struggling with depression and anxiety, people who are asking for help. I’m not evangelizing or trying to save the world! david
David I am struggling w depression. I am currently on medication but work in your feeling good handbook a lot. I am waiting for some kind of relief. I am trying to work through this difficult time.
Hi Mary, My heart goes out to you. I am so sad that you are struggling with depression. Sometimes,a mental health professional can accelerate your healing when you’re struggling alone. In addition, there are tons of free resources on my website, feelinggood.com, including a free depression class, the Feeling Good Podcasts, and more. You can also sign up to beta test the new Feeling Good app at http://www.feelinggood.com/app. However, lots of folks have signed up, and there’s often a wait, for which I apologize. Some people have also found my latest book, Feeling Great, to be helpful. there’s currently a crazy sale on Amazon, so check it out if interested.
Please keep me in the loop, and let me know if you need more help! Warmly, david
Just bought your book on Amazon feeling great. I have feeling good and it has really helped w bouts of depression in the past. I know that distorted thinking is behind depression but it’s very hard to turn it off. My life has changed drastically since covid. My dad died from it and after being virtual for over a year I’m back to work at a school w absolutely nothing to do all day. I sit and ruminate. Need to break the cycle hoping your new book helps me thanks david
Thanks, Mary, would love to know if it helps. You might want to sign up for beta testing or utilize some of the free resources on my website, too! d
Please tell me how can I do the 10 days to Self-Esteem
I got the book however I can’t write.
I can using my mobil phone Please tell me how do I do everything you ask in book on my phone instead of using a pen in your book.
Please help me
You can dictate your negative thoughts into the phone, then listen and challenge the thoughts with tools you are learning. I am sorry you cannot write, and not sure why, since you did write this very nice email! d
I would not be surprised if many great athletes (or other high-performing individuals) ARE disturbed at least some of the time by their desire to perform. Top athletic performances are for a large part a mental performance/mindset too. The best athletes probably know how to push themselves without falling into the “should” trap which would make them depressed if they somehow didn’t perform well once. Even so, I’m sure any top athlete who loses a match or race will feel sad and dissapointed at least for a little while after that. That’s normal. But if they tell themselves they “should have won”, that could become problematic and lead to depression.
Exactly, Michiel, thanks! Good thininking! d
Thanks. Yes I think that makes sense and it’s flexible too.
Thanks
Rajesh
Cool! d
Can i fine this book in cd or audio anywhere I’m a difficult reader and I do better with audio books is there anyway I could have this book in a CD on an audio thank you 10 days to self esteem
You can find my books on Amazon.com. Thanks! david
Hello Dr Burns, I am asking for your blesssing to share your content (with link to website) on an Australian National Mental Health Initative page on facebook, i have found your work helpful feel your content would be super helpful for our followers. Thankyou.
Would love to have you link to my website, which has a number of free resources that might help your followers, including my 1. Weekly Feeling Good podcasts (3 millionth download this month); 2. Blogs; 3. free classes on depression and anxiety. 4. Books, like Feeling Good or the new book, Feeling Great, which have fairly strong antidepressant effects. They can be purchased on amazon, and are way cheaper than medications or psychotherapy, and sometimes work even better. Thanks, and all the best, david
Hello Dr.Burns,
I was wondering how you would suggestion for someone to go through the book? There is a lot to do in one day especially if they have busy day to day. Do you have any suggestions? Is it okay to take more than on day?
Absolutely, chip away at it! Thanks for email, david
In other words, read it in any way that appeals to you!
Thank you so much for the work you do David! Feeling Good is such a simple but monumental revolution for my overthinking mind. I feel so passionate about your discovery of and implementation of resistance to change in psychotherapy. I’d read about some of this in Conversations With Milton Erickson, but I still didn’t know exactly what he was doing or fully the dynamics of it. You establish it with such easy to understand structure that it’s much more accessible to lay people for immediate healing. Thank you! Evan
Thanks, Evan. We’ll likely read your kind comments on a podcast. Warmly, david
Dr Burns I appreciate your work. I’m in my thirties now and when I was in my mid twenties your Feeling Good handbook helped me out immensely. I’m currently listening to your podcasts and reading Feeling Great. I had a slip in my anxiety and depression and I know the tools worked in the past so they can work again. 👍🤙🖖
Thanks, Frank, Appreciate your kind words! Glad you liked the Handbook. Might we read your kind note with your first name, or a fake name, on a podcast?
You might enjoy beta-testing our newe app (you can sign up at feelinggood.com/app) or listening to the free weekly Feeling good podcasts (also available at my website on the podcast tab. You can sign up for them there if you want.)
All the best, david
I would like to know if they will translate the last book into Spanish? And when would it be released? Thank you!
Several of my books are, but not yet Feeling Great I don’t think. d
Hi Dr David, First I would want to thank you for the work you doing, its truly exceptional and i am so looking forward to use it in my coaching practice. I ts reall an honor getting to know you and the contribution you making to the world, thank you Neveron
tHANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS! WARMLLY, DAVID