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052: Your Responses to the Live Work with Marilyn — Are People Honest in Their Ratings, and Do the Improvements Stick?

052: Your Responses to the Live Work with Marilyn — Are People Honest in Their Ratings, and Do the Improvements Stick?

The responses to the Marilyn session were extremely positive. At the start of the podcast, Fabrice reads a response from a listener who was moved and inspired by the work Marilyn did.

David and Fabrice discuss two questions commonly raised by people who have seen David’s live demonstrations with individuals experiencing severe depression and anxiety. Since the change in Marilyn’s scores were so fantastic, some skeptical listeners have asked, “Was this real, or was it staged?” Others have asked if patients are simply giving favorable answers on the Brief Mood Survey and Evaluation of Therapy Session forms as a way of being “nice” to the therapist.

David points out that the opposite is true. If patients are in treatment voluntarily, without some kind of hidden agenda such as applying for disability, they tend to be exceptionally honest in the way they fill out the forms. In fact, most therapists find that they get failing grades from nearly every patient on every scale at every session at first. This can be very upsetting, especially to therapists who are narcissistic and defensive about criticism. But if the therapist is humble and open to the feedback, the patient’s feedback on the Brief Mood Survey as well as the Evaluation of Therapy Session forms can provide a fabulous opportunity for growth and learning.

So in short, it is not true that patients fill out the forms just to be “nice” and to please the therapists. The scores are brutally real! If you are a therapist and a doubters, you can give the assessment instruments a try, and I think you’ll be surprised, and perhaps even shocked when you review the data!

Still, David acknowledges that the rapid and phenomenal changes he now sees most of the time when using TEAM-CBT are hard to believe, especially when you’ve been trained to think that recovery is a long, slow process. David discusses a model of brain function proposed by a molecular biologist / geneticist, Dr. Mark Noble, that allows for extremely rapid change.

David and Fabrice also address the question—can these kinds of miraculous results last, or are they only a flash in the pan? David emphasizes the importance of ongoing practice whenever the negative thoughts return. The “one and done” philosophy is not realistic. Part of being human is getting upset during moments of vulnerability, and that’s when you have to pick up the tools and use them again!

David describes experiencing three hours of panic just a few days ago, and Fabrice asks what techniques he used to deal with his own negative feelings, including Identify the Distortions, Examine the Evidence, Reattribution, and the Acceptance Paradox.

David agrees with the Dalai Lama that happiness is one of the goals of life, but emphasizes that it is not realistic to think one can be happy all the time. Fortunately, you can be happy most of the time–but you have to be willing to pick up the tools and use them from time to time when you fall into a black hole!

David and Fabrice

If you are reading this blog on social media, I appreciate it! I would like to invite you to visit my website, http://www.FeelingGood.com, as well. There you will find a wealth of free goodies, including my Feeling Good blogs, my Feeling Good Podcast with host, Dr. Fabrice Nye, and the Ask Dr. David blogs as well, along with announcements of upcoming workshops, and tons of resources for mental health professionals as well as patients!

Once you link to my blog, you can sign up using the widget at the top of the column to the right of each page. Please forward my blogs to friends as well, especially anyone with an interest in mood problems, psychotherapy, or relationship conflicts.

Thanks! David

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052: Your Responses to the Live Work with Marilyn — Are People Honest in Their Ratings, and Do the Improvements Stick?

049: Live Therapy with Marilyn, Part 1, The Dark Night of the Soul

You FEEL the Way You THINK! . . . Or Do You?

The next three podcasts feature a therapy session with Marilyn, a woman recently diagnosed with Stage 4 (terminal) non-smoker’s lung cancer. We are enormously grateful to Marilyn for her courage and generosity in making this extremely private and intensely personal experience available to all of us. I believe the session will inspire you, and give you courage in facing losses, traumas and problems in your own life.

At the beginning of the therapy, Marilyn is in shock, experiencing, quite understandably, extreme levels of depression, anxiety, shame, loneliness, hopelessness, and anger. What’s the cause of her negative feelings?

According to the theory behind cognitive therapy, people are disturbed not be events, but rather by the ways we think about them. This notion goes back nearly 2,000 years to the teachings of the Greek Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who emphasized the incredible importance of our thoughts—or “cognitions”—in the way we feel.

When you’re upset, you’ve probably noticed that your mind will usually be flooded with negative thoughts. For example, when you’re depressed, you may be beating up on yourself and telling yourself that you’re a loser, and when you’re anxious you’re probably thinking that something terrible is about to happen. However, it may not have dawned on you that your thoughts are the actual cause of your negative feelings.

In addition, you may not be aware that your negative thoughts will nearly always be distorted, illogical, or just plain unrealistic. In fact, in my first book, Feeling Good, I listed the cognitive distortions, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, and hidden Should Statements, that trigger negative feelings. The notion that depression, anxiety, and event anger result entirely from your thoughts, and not upsetting events, can be enormously liberating, because we usually cannot change what’s actually happening, but we can learn to change the way we think—and feel.

But is this notion really true? Can’t traumatic events upset us? And can we really change the way we think and feel when the circumstances of our lives are genuinely awful? Or is this just a lot of pop psychology?

A lot of people don’t buy into the notion only your thoughts can upset you. It just seems to fly in the face of common sense. For example, you might argue that when something genuinely horrible happens, such as failure, losing a loved one, or being diagnosed with terminal cancer, it is the actual event and not your thoughts, that triggers the negative feelings. And you might also argue, perhaps even with some irritation, that your thoughts are definitely not distorted, since the actual event—such as the cancer—is real.

Would you agree? I know that’s what I used to think! If you’re interested, and you have not yet listened to the first Marilyn podcast, you can take the brief poll on the home page and let us know what you think!

The next three podcasts will give you the chance to examine your thinking on this topic, because Marilyn is struggling with a negative event that is absolutely real and devastating. At the end of the third podcast, you’ll have the chance to take the poll again.

In this podcast, Drs. Burns and May go through the T = Testing and E = Empathy phases of the TEAM-CBT session. If you’d like, you can review the Brief Mood Survey and Daily Mood Log that Marilyn completed just before the session began. You will see that her negative feelings are all severe, and that her negative thoughts focus on several themes, including

  • Her fears of cancer, pain, and death.
  • Her thoughts of spiritual inadequacy, doubting her belief in God, wondering if there really is an afterlife, and feeling that she’s perhaps been duped by religions.
  • Her feelings of incompleteness at never having had a truly loving life partner.
  • Her intense self-criticisms, beating up on herself for excessive drinking during her life.

The next Feeling Good Podcast with Marilyn will include the A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting phase of the TEAM therapy session, where David and Matt will attempt to reduce Marilyn’s resistance and enhance her motivation using the Miracle Cure Question, the Magic Button, the Positive Reframing Technique, and the Magic Dial. The third and final podcast will include the M = Methods phase, where David and Matt will encourage Marilyn to challenge her negative thoughts using Identify the Distortions, the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, the Externalization of Voices, and the Acceptance Paradox, followed by Relapse Prevention Training, the end of session testing, and wrap-up.

Although the subject matter of these podcasts is exceptionally grim and disturbing, we believe that Marilyn’s story may transform your thinking and touch your heart in a deeply personal way. Because Marilyn is a spiritual person who suddenly finds herself without hope or faith, and totally lost, we have called part one, The Dark Night of the Soul, a concept from William Johnston’s classic book on religious mysticism entitled, The Inner Eye of Love.

We are hopeful these broadcasts will stimulate comments and discussions on the philosophical and spiritual messages embedded in the Marilyn session from you and our other listeners. Is it true that only our thoughts can upset us? And is the total loss of faith a necessary step on the path to enlightenment?

Live Session (Marilyn) — The Dark Night of the Soul (Part 1)

 

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048: Relapse Prevention Training

Relapse Prevention Training

Fabrice reads a question submitted by a reader on how to handle relapses following recovery from depression. David emphasizes the importance of this question, since there is a 100% probably that every patient will relapse following recovery. And if the patient has not been properly prepared, the relapses can be disastrous. But on the other hand, if the patient has been prepared, the relapses do not have to be problematic.

What is a relapse? David defines a relapse as one minute or more of feeling crappy. Given that definition, we all relapse pretty much every day. However, some people can pop out of a bad mood really quickly, while others can get stuck in these “relapses” for weeks, months, or even years.

David describes the Relapse Prevention Training (RPT) techniques he has developed, but cautions that RPT does not make sense until the patient has experienced a complete elimination of symptoms. If the patient is being treated for depression, that means that the score the depression test has fallen all the way to zero (no symptoms whatsoever) and that the patients feel joy and self-esteem.

There are four keys to David’s RPT, including:

  1. The patient must be informed that relapse is an absolute certainty. The question is not “will this patient relapse” but rather, “when will this patient relapse?”
  2. Patients have to know that the therapy technique that worked for them the first time they recovered will always work for them. It might be the Cost-Benefit analysis, Pleasure-Predicting Sheet, Acceptance Paradox, Double Standard Technique, Five Secrets of Effective Communication, Hidden Emotion Technique, or Experimental Technique, or simply recording their negative thoughts on the Daily Mood Log and identifying the distortions in them.
  3. Patients need to identify and modify the Self-Defeating Beliefs (SDBs) that triggered their depression and anxiety in the first place, such as Perfectionism, Perceived Perfectionism, or the Achievement, Love or Approval Addictions. In several previous podcasts, David and Fabrice have described the Uncovering Techniques that can be used to quickly pinpoint any patient’s SDBs.
  4. Patients need to write down and challenge the Negative Thoughts that will inevitably emerge at the time they relapse, such as “This relapse proves I’m hopeless after all,” or “This relapse proves the therapy didn’t work,” etc.

David and Fabrice illustrate step #4 using a powerful technique called Externalization of Voices. David has patients record this role play procedure on a cell phone or other recording device so they can play it and listen if needed during an actual relapse.

David explains that he used this approach with every patient he discharged, and encouraged them all to come back anytime they had a relapse that they couldn’t handle. In spite of having more than 35,000 therapy sessions with individuals with severe depression and anxiety, David says that he can count on two hands the number who every returned for “tune-ups” following termination of therapy, and in most of those cases, the patients were able to recover once again in just or two sessions.

In the next Feeling Good Podcast, David and his highly esteemed colleague, Dr. Matthew May, will begin their live work with Marilyn, a severely depressed colleague who is facing “The Dark Night of the Soul.” Fabrice, as usual, will narrate and elicit enlightening commentaries on the therapeutic strategies that David and Matt are using as the session with Marilyn unfolds.

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Learning TEAM-CBT Requires Hard Work — But the Results Can Be Amazing!

Learning TEAM-CBT Requires Hard Work — But the Results Can Be Amazing!

This is a terrific email I received this morning.

Hi Dr. Burns,

I first attended your 2-hour workshop at the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference in Anaheim in 2013. That got me started!

Then I took your 2-day training on High Speed Trauma Treatment in Pasadena 2015. That got me hooked!

Since January 2017, I’ve listened to your podcasts, each about 4 or 5 times.

I’ve read your Feeling Good Handbook – did all the exercises.

I’ve read your Feeling Good Together – did all the exercises – and my wife is practicing these.

Working through your book, When Panic Attacks, now.

Changed my life! My marriage went from pretty good to perfect! I mean perfect! All the complaints I had about my wife disappeared. She didn’t change anything!!!

What changed?

In my marriage I realized I was creating the problem I was fighting against. Yes, that’s the truth. The Five Secrets showed me my mistakes: 1. Defensiveness 2. Truth 3. Solving the Problem, and others. As a result of the Five Secrets my wife has now become my best friend. I use the Five Secrets at work too and have never felt more confident and relaxed.

My therapy practice continues to change dramatically. Finally, I’ve begun to use the Paradoxical Agenda Setting effectively. This was tough for me to learn. After a few failures, and soul searching, I’m beginning now to truly see and feel the strength and beauty of my clients’ resistance. The energy of our alliance is amazing, and you’re right, when you have that power, it’s a short jump to the elimination of symptoms.

One quick example: An African American woman in 40s had suffered from feelings of inadequacy 100% of the time since she was little. After listing the beauty of her inadequacy, she decided that she was ready to get rid of it. Why? She said it was “a thorn in my flesh.” We used the list of Cognitive Distortions, with positive thought replacement, and the Acceptance Paradox to defeat her feeling of inadequacy.

She realized that she had a choice: Live with trying NOT to be inadequate (“a thorn in my flesh”) or accept feeling inadequate in some things. Upon realizing this, she laughed and said, “I’m not feeling inadequate anymore. Feeling inadequate is normal.” She couldn’t believe it. Her scores on the depression and anxiety tests went to 0, and she left session elated. I also received perfect empathy scores. All of this transformation happened in one (2 hour) session.

I already have 4 or 5 other examples recently.

I am just so grateful to you. You’ve been generous in correspondences as well. You are truly a treasure.

All the best,

Mike

(Case study disguised to protect identity.)

Michael Mikulski, LMFT
Director of MFT Training, Pacific Clinics
Pasadena, CA 91107
mmikulski@pacificclinics.org

Thanks, Mike! You’ve “got it,” so to speak, thanks to your hard work and commitment. That’s what it takes to learn TEAM-CBT! Keep up the fantastic work you are doing! I am so glad that at least some therapists are learning these new methods and bring rapid relief to so many people who are suffering!

Your fantastic email also illustrates the importance of Healing Yourself. If we, the presumed experts, can use our techniques to bring more joy and intimacy into our own lives, then we have credibility, and our status changes from technician to healer. That is one reason why I emphasize the importance of doing personal work in my Tuesday psychotherapy training seminar at Stanford, on my Sunday hikes, and at my workshops. It is, to my way of thinking, an essential ingredient of psychotherapy training.

I also want to thank my esteem podcast host, Dr. Fabrice Nye, for making the Feeling Good Podcasts a reality! We just finished another recording session at noon today and really enjoy bring this information to all of you!

All the best,

David

 

035: Live Session (Mark) — Final Testing, Wrap Up (Part 7)

035: Live Session (Mark) — Final Testing, Wrap Up (Part 7)

Part 7: T = Testing Revisited, Conclusion of the Live Therapy Session with Mark

This is the last live therapy podcast with Mark, the physician who was convinced he was a failure as a father because of his difficulties forming a close, loving relationship with his oldest son. Although the session appeared to go well, we can’t be sure until we see Mark’s end of session mood ratings on the Daily Mood Log and on the Brief Mood Survey and and Evaluation of Therapy Session. David emphasizes that therapists’ perceptions of patients are notoriously inaccurate, but most therapists are unaware of this because they don’t use the rigorous testing procedures at the start and end of sessions.

To review Mark’s partially completed Daily Mood Log, CLICK HERE. Jill and David will ask him to complete the additional negative thoughts on his own after the session.

To review mark’s end of session Brief Mood Survey and Evaluation of Therapy Session, CLICK HERE.

After David review’s the phenomenal changes Mark reported from the start to the end of the session, David asks if the ratings were genuine, or, as some listeners might suspect, faked in order to try to please the therapists. Mark bursts into tears and says, in a choked voice, that it was a life-changing experience.

After the end of the session, David and Fabrice discuss a number of highlights from the work with Mark:

  • The testing indicated a complete or near-complete elimination of symptoms. In 2 ½ hours, Jill and David have essentially completed an entire course of psychotherapy. Although there may still be some work to be done with Mark, the hard part has already been completed.
  • David emphasizes that he now views psychotherapy as a procedure to be done at one sitting, much like surgery, with brief follow-up visits, rather than a long, drawn out procedure meeting once pre week for months or even many years. And although a single 2 or 2 1/2 hour session may be more costly than a traditional 50-minute hour, it can be vastly more cost-effective Than dozens of sessions with little or no progress. In addition, it is vastly better for the patient who walks out feeling good today, rather than having to endure weeks, months, or even many years of traditional talk therapy or antidepressant drug therapy.
  • David and Fabrice talk about the fact that no one is permitted to feel happy all the time, and that Mark’s negative thoughts and feelings WILL return, David defines a “relapse” as one minute or more of feeling lousy. Given that definition, we will ALL relapse forever! But it doesn’t have to be a problem for Mark if he is prepared for this, and knows how to pop out of the relapses quickly, rather than getting stuck in them. This is where Relapse Prevention Training (RPT) becomes so important following the initial dramatic recovery. RPT only takes about 30 minutes and is easy to learn, and will perhaps be the topic for a future Feeling Good Podcast if our listeners express an interest in it.
  • David discusses the difference between an Internal Solution and an External Solution. In this session, David and Jill have guided Mark in the Internal Solution—this means crushing the negative thoughts that triggered Mark’s feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, shame, failure, and anger for years, if not decades. Now that he is feeling so much better about himself, he may want some help with the External Solution. This will involve learning how to develop a more loving relationship with his son using tools like the Relationship Journal and the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. This will be far easier now that Mark is no longer using up all his energy beating up on himself and feeling depressed and inadequate.
  • David wraps up by talking about the true wealth we have as therapists. Although we won’t develop the riches of a Bill Gates doing psychotherapy, we do have the fabulous and precious opportunity to see people as they really are inside, and to witness miracles like the one we saw in the session with Mark.
  • David expresses the hope that listeners have benefitted by listening. Although we are all different, most of us have had the painful experience, like Mark, of believing we were somehow failures, or inferior, or defective, or simply not good enough. We are deeply indebted to Mark’ courage and generosity in giving us the opportunity to see the solution to this ancient and almost universal human problem!

There are many resources for listeners who want to learn more about TEAM-CBT, including:

  • David’s exciting two-day and four-day training workshops, listed on his website, feelinggood.com.
  • Tons of free resources for patients and therapists at feelinggood.com. Please sign up using the widget in the upper right hand corner of any page on his website and you will receive email notifications and links to every post.
  • David’s psychotherapy eBook entitled Tools, Not Schools of Therapy.
  • David’s Tuesday psychotherapy training groups at Stanford, which are co-led Jill Levitt, PhD and Helen Yeni-Komshian, MD. The training is free of charge to Bay Area and northern California therapists. You will have the chance to do free personal work, too!
  • David’s famous Sunday hikes, also free to members of the training groups.
  • Paid online and in-person weekly TEAM-CBT training groups, plus intensive TEAM-CBT treatment programs, at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View California.
  • In addition, many TEAM-CBT training and treatment programs are now offered in many cities throughout the US and Canada. For more information, visit feelinggood.com or www.feelinggoodinstitute.com.