Watch the Shouldy Show, Part 2, on Sunday!

Watch the Shouldy Show, Part 2, on Sunday!

Watch the David and Jill FB Show
this Sunday, July 29th, 2018, 3 PM Pacific Time

I hope you can join Dr. Jill Levitt and me live this Sunday for Part 2 of our Shouldy Show! The response to Part 1 last Sunday was outstanding, and I hope you can join us again. If you attend live, you can ask questions and be a part of the show. However, all the shows are recorded so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page!

Dr. Levitt is Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good institute in Mt. View, California. She is a co-director of my weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, and is absolutely superb. In addition, when we work together, the chemistry can be pure magic. The photo below was at our recent Sunday workshop on Advanced TEAM-CBT techniques.

Jill and david 2

On the show on Sunday, Jill and I will illustrate several powerful techniques for zapping your Should Statements, including those you direct against yourself as well as those you direct against other people you feel annoyed with.

Here’s the agenda Sunday:

Outline for the Shouldy Show, Part 2*

 with David and Jill 

  1. Brief summary of last week’s FB Show (Part 1 on Shoulds) and goals for today’s show
  1. Typical Self-Directed Should Statements (with interactions with our live audience)
  • I should be a better mother (or father, or therapist, etc).
  • I should not judge people who make racist, sexist, or gay-bashing comments. I should try to have empathy for them. I should not dislike them.
  • I should be the best at everything I do,
  • I shouldn’t make mistakes.
  • I shouldn’t need help for my anxiety.
  • I should be a perfect mother.
  • I should never snap at my children.
  • I should find time to exercise.
  • I should not be so shy!
  • I shouldn’t be ashamed of my son.
  • I should have known my patient was feeling suicidal / homicidal.

What are yours?

  1. Typical Other-Directed Should Statements (with interactions with our live audience)
  • That driver shouldn’t cut in front of me in line!
  • People should be more tolerant!
  • People shouldn’t be so stupid!
  • People shouldn’t support this (or that) political candidate. They should see what a loser she (or he) is.
  • So and so shouldn’t complain all the time!
  • My patient should do his (or her) psychotherapy homework.
  • My patient shouldn’t be so resistant, oppositional, and irrational!
  • My husband (wife, partner, etc.) shouldn’t be so critical / stubborn / demanding.

What are yours?

  1. Techniques to defeat Self- Directed Shoulds and Other-Directed Shoulds (with role-play demonstrations between David and Jill)
  • Identify the Distortions (since the thought will have many distortions)
  • Positive Reframing
  • Semantic Method
  • Externalization of Voices / Acceptance Paradox
  • Paradoxical Cost-Benefit Analysis
  • Examine the Evidence (Ellis)
  • Double Standard Technique
  1. Q and A
  1. Announcements:
  • Upcoming Intensive
  • New schedule for FB Show with next date announced

* Copyright © 2018 by David D. Burns, MD

* * *

Coming in San Francisco in early August

High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
For more information, click here
or contact http://www.iahb.org/
phone: 800-258-8411

If you can only attend one of my workshops, consider this one! The intensives are

THE BEST!

Register right away if you want to get in on the action!

Hope to see you in San Francisco!

Tune in to the Shouldy Show with David and Jill on Sunday!

Tune in to the Shouldy Show with David and Jill on Sunday!

Watch the David and Jill Facebook Show
this Sunday, July 22nd, 2018, 3 PM Pacific Time

IMG_0892 (002)

 

I hope you can join Dr. Levitt and myself live on Sunday for our Shouldy Show! We will show you how to combat Should Statements directed at yourself and others. Should Statements are probably the “stickiest” of all ten cognitive distortions, and great teachers for the past 2,500 years have tried to help humans free themselves from the “tyranny of the shoulds.” Jill and I will discuss the damage from Shoulds and how to defeat them!

I’m attaching the outline of the show, so click here and take a look if you want a little preview!

If you attend live, you can ask questions and be a part of the show. However, all the shows are recorded so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page!

* * *

Coming in San Francisco a week from Monday!

High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
For more information, click here
or contact http://www.iahb.org/
phone: 800-258-8411

If you can only attend one of my workshops, consider an intensive!
They are THE BEST!

Register right away if you want to get in on the action!

Hope to see you soon in San Francisco!

 

Watch the Shouldy Show, Part 1, on Sunday!

Watch the Shouldy Show, Part 1, on Sunday!

Watch the David and Jill Facebook Show
this Sunday, July 22nd, 2018, 3 PM Pacific Time

Here’s the email I received that triggered Sunday’s FB Live Show:

Dear Dr. Burns,

Would you please consider doing a detailed podcast where you show how to crush “should statements” about oneself and others?  I have found your books, articles, and podcasts so incredibly informative, moving, and empowering.  I am so grateful for the work you and Fabrice Nye have done on the podcasts and look forward to more.

The “Shouldy Approach to Life” is one that has not yet been dealt with as much as I’d hoped.  I do not mean extreme prejudice and religious zealotry.  I mean Should Statements that sound innocent and upstanding like taking a responsible and bravely conscious approach to one’s life by improving one’s health, relationships, the environment, and/or being a positive, loving role model for one’s children.

Sounds great, doesn’t it?

 But it isn’t. For me, I don’t believe moral superiority is the only motivator.  I am often shocked, disappointed, and/or left feeling alienated and sad by what I consider unacceptable or irresponsible behavior—mine and others.

For example, I find myself strongly disliking people who are known to make racist, sexist, or gay-bashing comments. However, I tell myself I should try to have empathy for them.  In the end, any empathy cannot withstand my repulsion, so I have essentially “shoulded” both them and myself.

I find myself fighting the urge to dislike a person and often wind up pitying them.  What does that accomplish?

I can guess that Paradoxical Agenda Setting could play a huge role in addressing this issue, but I feel lost in my attempts to dispel the distorted statements. Thanks so much for any consideration you might give.

Sincerely, J

Thanks J! Great question. We all get hooked by Should Statements.

I hope you can join Dr. Levitt and myself live on Sunday for the Should Show, Part 1! (We may need to consecutive shows to get through our agenda for the show.) If you attend live, you can ask questions and be a part of the show. However, all the shows are recorded so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page!

* * *

Coming in San Francisco in August

High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
For more information, click here
or contact http://www.iahb.org/
phone: 800-258-8411

If you can only attend one of my workshops, consider an intensive! They are

THE BEST!

Register right away if you want to get in on the action!

Hope to see you in Whistler in July or San Francisco in August!

 

The Shouldy Approach to Life–How to Crush Should Statements

The Shouldy Approach to Life–How to Crush Should Statements

Watch the David and Jill Facebook Show
this Sunday, July 22nd, 2018, 3 PM Pacific Time

Do you ever tell yourself,

  • I shouldn’t have made that mistake, or
  • I should be better than I am, or
  • I shouldn’t be so screwed up.

These self-directed Should Statements are responsible for a great deal of human misery. They trigger feelings of depression, anxiety, shame, inferiority,and hopelessness.

Other-directed Should Statements are also responsible for a great deal of human misery of a different kind. They can trigger feelings of anger, frustration, resentment and conflict with family members, friends, colleagues, and even strangers. They are also responsible for a great deal of violence and hatred between ethnic groups, religions, and nations.

Do any of the following other–directed Should Statements sound familiar?

  • You shouldn’t feel that way!
  • You shouldn’t be like that!
  • You’ve got no right to say that!
  • I’m right and you’re wrong!
  • This is all your fault!
  • What’s wrong with you! Any normal or sane person wouldn’t support X (X = this or that religion, cause or political candidate.)

Philosophers like Epictetus, spiritual teachers like the Buddha, and mental health professionals like Drs. Karen Horney and Albert Ellis, have emphasized the “tyranny of the Shoulds.” They’ve shown us how these seductive Should Statements can rob us of self-esteem, joy, and loving relationships with others. And yet, they can be incredibly difficult to smash, defeat or let go of.

Is there such a thing as healthy Should Statements? After all, Moses and his Ten Commandments are at the heart of the Jewish and Christian faiths. “Thou shalt not kill” is a Should Statement. Are we supposed to give up on our moral and religious shoulds?

And in addition, we know that we Should not drive down the freeway at 90 miles an hour, or we’ll get arrested.

And we also know that if we drop a pen, it will fall. It SHOULD fall because it has to obey the laws of nature.

  • So, what’s the difference between healthy and unhealthy Should Statements?
  • And how can we defeat the unhealthy and addictive Shoulds that make us miserable?

Tune in Sunday as Dr. Jill Levitt and i will discuss the “Shouldy” approach to life. We;ll give you some tips on how to free yourself from your he tyranny of your own Should Statements.

If you attend live, you can ask questions and be a part of the show. However, all the shows are recorded so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page!

* * *

Coming in San Francisco in August

High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
For more information, click here
or contact http://www.iahb.org/
phone: 800-258-8411

If you can only attend one of my workshops, consider an intensive! They are

THE BEST!

Register right away if you want to get in on the action!

Hope to see you in Whistler in July or San Francisco in August!

 

No FB Show tomorrow, July 8, 2018

No FB Show tomorrow, July 8, 2018

Next Show will be Sunday, July 15, 2018 at 3 PM PST

Hi everybody. There will be no FB show tomorrow, Sunday, July 8, 2018. The next show will be on July 15th on the topic of “The Disarming Technique: Taking a Deeper Dive.” Mike Christensen will return to do the show with me.

The Disarming Technique is tremendously powerful and important, but extremely challenging to learn. Essentially, you agree with a criticism, even if it sounds wrong, exaggerated, or unfair. The Disarming Technique is based on the Law of Opposites which states:

If you defend yourself and disagree with a criticism that sounds totally wrong or unfair, you will immediately prove that the criticism is valid, and the person who is criticizing you will stop be even more convinced, and rightfully so, that the criticism is absolutely correct. This is a paradox.

If. in contrast, you immediately and genuinely agree with a criticism that sounds totally wrong or unfair, you will immediately put the lie to it, and the person who is criticizing you will stop believing it. This is also a paradox.

Therapists and the general public alike struggle with this mightily! They always ask, “But what if there is no truth in the criticism? How can you possibly agree with a false criticism?”

To prepare for this incredibly important and hopefully exciting show, please send me one or more criticisms you have received, from a patient or from a friend or family member or colleague or customer, that you are convinced could not be true. Mike and I will show you how to use the Disarming Technique to put the lie to the criticism.

NOTE: Please do not email me with vague, general questions about this technique, as general dialogue usually will not be productive. Instead, provide me with some specific examples, please. Thanks!

I just returned from the Canadian intensive in Whistler, BC. Mike Christensen helped me with the teaching and therapy. It was a fabulous experience, and we received the highest ratings I’ve had for workshops in the last 25 years or more. It was an amazing experience in beautiful setting with some beautiful people! I have to thank Jack Hirose and Associates for sponsoring this program!

Even better, Mike and I did therapy with a volunteer who’d experience some pretty awful traumas. The therapy was magical. so inspiring, and arguably almost unbelievable! It was filmed by Mike Manor, a therapist and videographer, who happened to attend the workshop. I am hoping to do something with the video, as it will make for some pretty powerful learning for therapists and for everyone, to be honest!

The San Francisco intensive is coming up in early August, so check it out if you’re interested. It is usually an excellent if not fabulous event as well! See below for details.

I apologize for being over the top in my descriptions of some events, but sometimes, this is warranted, I think.

You can find our previous FB Live recordings, as well as the one scheduled for the 15th, on my public FB page.

David

* * *

Coming in San Francisco in August

High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
For more information, click here
or contact http://www.iahb.org/
phone: 800-258-8411

If you can only attend one of my workshops, consider an intensive! They are

THE BEST!

Register right away if you want to get in on the action!

Hope to see you in San Francisco in August!

David and Jill Show Returns! Intimacy Training, Part 3!

David and Jill Show Returns! Intimacy Training, Part 3!

Sunday, July 1, 2018 at 3 PM PST.

The beloved and brilliant Dr. Jill Levitt will return this Sunday for Part 3 on Intimacy Training. You can join us live and participate in the dialogue or watch the recording anytime later on.

In our two previous FB Live broadcasts on Intimacy Training, Jill and I discussed how to receive criticism and how to give criticism.  This week, we will take a deeper dive into how to form warm, trusting relationships with others. We will address several questions from fans, including a man who asks about people who are prone to anxiety and afraid of confrontations, as well as a question from a woman who tends to get very self-critical when criticized. These are themes we can perhaps all identity with!

This will provide balance in our presentations on loving relationships. We’ve had three broadcasts on flirting and hustling with Angela Krumm, PhD and Kyle Jones, who were fabulous. These three broadcasts addressed the problem of how to flirt skillfully, how to find someone to date, and how to play the dating game to win–instead of getting rejected over and over.

This coming Sunday will be our third broadcast on the other side of the coin: once you’ve found someone to date, how do you develop meaningful, loving relationship with him or her? And how can we develop more satisfying relationships with friends and family members?

Mental health professionals, as well as our patients, and human beings in general, seem to have incredible difficulties resolving relationship conflicts. What can we do about this problem? Can it be solved? And if so, how?

If time permits, we will also address a question from a therapist who asked about the treatment of depression in a patient who does well and then gets episodically suicidal. What types of interventions should this therapist consider?

You can find our previous FB Live recordings, as well as the one this Sunday, on my public FB page.

David

* * *

Coming in Canada on Tuesday!

You still have time to register if you move fast!

Advanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:
A Four-Day Intensive Training in TEAM-CBT

July 3 – 6, 2018 Whistler, BC, Canada

For more information, contact Jack Hirose & Associates Inc.
Phone: 604.924.0296, Toll-free: 1.800.456.5424

* * *

Coming in San Francisco in August

High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
For more information, click here
or contact http://www.iahb.org/
phone: 800-258-8411

If you can only attend one of my workshops, consider an intensive! They are

THE BEST!

Register right away if you want to get in on the action!

Hope to see you in Whistler in July or San Francisco in August!

 

 

 

 

 

David’s FB Live Returns TODAY, May 27, 2018 at 3 PM PST. Intimacy Training, Part 2!

David’s FB Live Returns TODAY, May 27, 2018 at 3 PM PST. Intimacy Training, Part 2!

All the GOOD Reasons NOT
to Use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication!

and

How to Give Criticism

Today, Dr. Jill Levitt, Mike Christensen and I will return for an incredibly important, controversial and exciting FB Broadcast. You can join us live and participate in the dialogue or watch the recording anytime.

In the last FB Live broadcast of the David and Jill Show two weeks ago, we discussed and modeled how to handle criticism. This week, we will focus on how to give criticism. We will also focus on resistance to using the the Five Secrets of Effective Communication to develop more satisfying and loving relationships with the people we’re at odds with.

Mental health professionals, as well as our patients, and human beings in general, seem to have incredible difficulties resolving relationship conflicts. Why is this?

Tune in this afternoon to find out! Or, if you’re reading this in the future, you can find the recording on my public FB page. Look for the show of May 27, 2018.

* * *

Hey, I have a cool new workshop on intimacy coming up in June!

June 15th, 2018 in Mt. View, California

9:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Michael’s at Shoreline
2960 N. Shoreline Blvd.
Mountain View, CA 94043

Sponsored by the Santa Clara Valley of CAMFT 
(California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists)

In this entirely new workshop, you’ll learn how to transform failed, frustrating relationships into satisfying, trusting ones, so you can enjoy greater success in your clinical work and more loving relationships with the people you care about the most.

I’ll be joined by the brilliant and totally wonderful Kyle Jones, a 3rd year PhD student at Palo Alto University with outstanding clinical skills. Although I’ll be doing the main teaching, Kyle will back me up and help me provide helpful feedback to all of you during the many small group exercises throughout the workshop.

In the morning, we’ll focus on dealing with challenging clients, and in the afternoon we will take on a far greater challenge: how to deal with challenging loved ones!

All of that plus:

  • Free breakfast
  • Free lunch
  • 6 CE credits
  • Lots of fun while learning!

Click here for registration and further details

Learning Objectives
At the end of this workshop you will be able to:

  • Use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication
  • Enhance your own and your client’s communication skills with the Intimacy Exercise
  • Transform hostile relationships into trusting, loving ones
  • Resolve therapeutic logjams and boost your therapeutic effectiveness
  • Track therapeutic progress and assess the quality of the therapeutic alliance
  • Fail joyfully
  • Transform therapeutic failure into success

You will also learn how to deal with clients and loved ones who:

  • Complain but ignore your efforts to help
  • Challenge or provoke you
  • Criticize you unfairly
  • Refuse to talk or open up

You will also learn how to deal with clients and loved ones who are:

  • Narcissistic, controlling, or self-centered
  • Angry, threatening or violent
  • Resistant and oppositional
  • Overwhelmingly depressed, panicky, or hopeless

Hope to see you there!

* * *

Also coming in June! One of my best two-day workshops ever!

Register Now!

“Scared Stiff: Fast, Effective Treatment for Anxiety Disorders”

A two-day workshop Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates

June 4 -5, 2018 Calgary, Canada

 June 6 – 7, 2018 Winnipeg, Canada

Mike Christensen and several others will be joining me at both locations to help out with supervision of the small group exercises. You’ll LOVE this workshop and you’ll learn TONS of powerful techniques to treat every type of anxiety. You’ll learn how to heal your clients and your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as well!

I greatly appreciate your support, and hope you will continue to spread the word about TEAM-CBT and www.feelinggood.com. i am trying hard to reach as many people as possible with my free programming and blogs designed to help individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions, as well as the therapists who treat them!

David

 

 

 

FB Live Returns on May 27, 2018 at 3 PM PST. Intimacy Training, Part 2!

FB Live Returns on May 27, 2018 at 3 PM PST. Intimacy Training, Part 2!

All the GOOD Reasons NOT
to Use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication!

On Sunday, Dr. Jill Levitt, Mike Christensen and I will return for an incredibly important, controversial and exciting FB Broadcast. You can join us live and participate in the dialogue or watch the recording anytime.

For quite a few weeks I’ve pointed out that mental health professionals, as well as their patients, seem to have incredible difficulties learning to resolve relationship conflicts. This is in stark contrast to the treatment of depression and anxiety, which is usually (at least in my experience) super-fast and relatively easy using the new TEAM-CBT.

But when the main complaint is a relationship conflict, treatment can be slow. VERY slow! High skilled mental health professionals seem to choke when it comes to dealing with conflicts with loved ones. I’ve been speculating on why this might be in my many blogs.

Why is it sometimes so hard to treat individuals with relationship problems? Why is it so hard to heal to resolve our own conflicts?

Well, now we know what the answer is. Tune in Sunday to find out!

We changed our topic for this show due to some revealing new information based on a survey of a group of TEAM-CBT therapists just a few days ago.

Also, here’s a question for you to ponder in the meantime. What do you prefer? Hostile, conflicted relationships? Or joyous, loving, rewarding ones?

The answer may surprise you.

* * *

Hey, I have a cool new workshop on intimacy coming up in June!

June 15th, 2018 in Mt. View, California

9:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Michael’s at Shoreline
2960 N. Shoreline Blvd.
Mountain View, CA 94043

Sponsored by the Santa Clara Valley of CAMFT 
(California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists)

In this entirely new workshop, you’ll learn how to transform failed, frustrating relationships into satisfying, trusting ones, so you can enjoy greater success in your clinical work and more loving relationships with the people you care about the most.

I’ll be joined by the brilliant and totally wonderful Kyle Jones, a 3rd year PhD student at Palo Alto University with outstanding clinical skills. Although I’ll be doing the main teaching, Kyle will back me up and help me provide helpful feedback to all of you during the many small group exercises throughout the workshop.

In the morning, we’ll focus on dealing with challenging clients, and in the afternoon we will take on a far greater challenge: how to deal with challenging loved ones!

All of that plus:

  • Free breakfast
  • Free lunch
  • 6 CE credits
  • Lots of fun while learning!

Click here for registration and further details

Learning Objectives
At the end of this workshop you will be able to:

  • Use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication
  • Enhance your own and your client’s communication skills with the Intimacy Exercise
  • Transform hostile relationships into trusting, loving ones
  • Resolve therapeutic logjams and boost your therapeutic effectiveness
  • Track therapeutic progress and assess the quality of the therapeutic alliance
  • Fail joyfully
  • Transform therapeutic failure into success

You will also learn how to deal with clients and loved ones who:

  • Complain but ignore your efforts to help
  • Challenge or provoke you
  • Criticize you unfairly
  • Refuse to talk or open up

You will also learn how to deal with clients and loved ones who are:

  • Narcissistic, controlling, or self-centered
  • Angry, threatening or violent
  • Resistant and oppositional
  • Overwhelmingly depressed, panicky, or hopeless

Hope to see you there!

* * *

Also coming in June! One of my best two-day workshops ever!

Register Now!

“Scared Stiff: Fast, Effective Treatment for Anxiety Disorders”

A two-day workshop Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates

June 4 -5, 2018 Calgary, Canada

 June 6 – 7, 2018 Winnipeg, Canada

Mike Christensen and several others will be joining me at both locations to help out with supervision of the small group exercises. You’ll LOVE this workshop and you’ll learn TONS of powerful techniques to treat every type of anxiety. You’ll learn how to heal your clients and your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as well!

I greatly appreciate your support, and hope you will continue to spread the word about TEAM-CBT and www.feelinggood.com. i am trying hard to reach as many people as possible with my free programming and blogs designed to help individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions, as well as the therapists who treat them!

David

 

 

 

No Live FB Broadcast on May 20, 2018

No Live FB Broadcast on May 20, 2018

Intimacy Training, Part 2, will be on May 27th, 2018, at 3 PM

Tomorrow, Dr. Jill Levitt and I will be doing our full day workshop so we won’t be able to do a live FB Broadcast. Next week we will continue our series on intimacy, and will discuss and illustrate how to give critical feedback to friends, family members, and colleagues, including how and when to express anger respectfully.

Although we are sold out in person for our live workshop on May 20, you can still join on line. Here are the details!

May 20th, 2018  Advanced, High-Speed CBT for the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety A one day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt. 6 CE Credits, $135
You can join in person or online from wherever you live!

There are only a few spots left for the live workshop in Palo Alto, but we still have room for you to join us for the online version. We will have helpers to guide the small group exercises for those online, as well as those who attend in person.

 

 

 

Intimacy Training, Part 1, on Mother’s Day!

Intimacy Training, Part 1, on Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Watch the FB Live Broadcast
on Sunday, May 13th, 2018, at 3 PM (Pacific Time)–

Intimacy Training, Part 1: How to Handle Criticism

Hi all!

First, Happy Mother’s Day to all of our wonderful mothers! We love you and appreciate all that you do, both for your families, and also in your professional work as well! I hope you are pampered and loved on this Mother’s Day, and every day!

On this Mother’s Day, Jill, Mike and I will launch the first of several Facebook Sunday broadcasts on Intimacy Training. You will learn how to improve your relationships with family, friends, patients, colleagues and strangers, and also how to attract a mate if you are single and lonely.

How to Enhance Intimacy

The first show, on Mother’s Day, will focus on how to deal with criticism, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, especially the totally amazing Disarming Technique. We will demonstrate how to respond skillfully to the most extreme criticisms therapists might hear from angry, dissatisfied patients. We will also show you how you can respond skillfully to criticisms you might hear from friends or family members.

If you plan to attend live, you can type in a criticism you have had trouble responding to effectively, and we will demonstrate how to respond, using role-playing. But please limit the criticisms to one sentence, such as:

  • You never listen!
  • You don’t really care about me!
  • Why do you have to be SO controlling?
  • You always have to be right!
  • You’re a jerk!
  • You’re not helping me!
  • This is all your fault!

Future FB Broadcasts will focus on other common relationship problems, such as how to GIVE criticisms and express angry feelings constructively.

Your textbook for the broadcasts on enhancing intimacy will be my book, Feeling Good Together, which you can purchase at Amazon.com. Make sure you do the written exercises while you read!

How to Find Love

There’s another important aspect of Intimacy Training: How can you find someone to love in the first place? When I was in private practice, more than 50% of my patients were not involved in a loving relationship. Some had been divorced, and did not know how to get back into the dating scene, and others had never been comfortable or successful with the dating scene, and had never found someone to love.

We’ll cover the ins and outs of dating, with a focus on hustling, flirting and making connections, including topics such as:

  • how to deal with people who give you the run-around
  • how to avoid chasing and getting dumped
  • how to make people chase you
  • how to make the first “move” with someone you’re attracted to
  • how to flirt
  • how to handle rejection.

I will be joined by a number of guest experts on these broadcasts on how to play the dating game to win. They will include the incredible Kyle Jones, a doctoral student at Palo Alto University, and the amazing Angela Krumm, PhD, the director of the TEAM-CBT certification program at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, California, as well as others.

Your textbook for these shows will be my book, Intimate Connections, which you can order at Amazon.com. Many people have approached me at workshops to say, “Dr. Burns, because of your book, Intimate Connections, I’m now married!” If you’re feeling lonely, this might just be the book for you!

So whether you are alone and looking for someone to date, or troubled by a conflict with someone you care about, we will have TONS of cool methods to share with you!

Hope to see you this Sunday!

PS There will be NO FB SHOW on May 20th, since that will be my full day workshop with Jill Levitt, PhD! See below!

David

Some Cool Upcoming Workshops

Coming next Sunday, May 20th! Act fast if you want to register!

May 20th, 2018  Advanced, High-Speed CBT for the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety A one day workshop by Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt. 6 CE Credits, $135
You can join in person or online from wherever you live! Click here for registration information.

There are no spots left for the live workshop in Palo Alto, but we still have room for you to join us online. Mike Christensen and others will be available to help those who join online with the small group exercises in “virtual” rooms. In this workshop, you’ll have the chance to personal work, so you can boost your own feelings of confidence and self-esteem while at the same time learning tons of new tools that will greatly boost your clinical effectiveness!

Coming in June! One of my best two-day workshops ever!

“Scared Stiff: Fast, Effective Treatment for Anxiety Disorders”
a two-day workshop Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates
June 4 -5, 2018 Calgary, Canada
June 6 – 7, 2018 Winnipeg, Canada

Mike Christensen and several others will be joining me at both locations to help out with supervision of the small group exercises. You’ll LOVE this workshop and you’ll learn TONS of powerful techniques to treat every type of anxiety. You’ll learn how to heal your clients and your own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as well! And I’ll do a live demonstration at each location, to add some drama, illumination, and inspiration. Should be exciting! Hope you can join us!

I greatly appreciate your support, and hope you will continue to spread the word about TEAM-CBT and www.feelinggood.com. i am trying hard to reach as many people as possible with my free programming and blogs designed to help individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions, as well as the therapists who treat them!

David