Feeling Good Podcast

136: Mindfulness, Part 2: Muscle or Myth?
by

136: Mindfulness, Part 2: Muscle or Myth?

Rhonda, Fabrice and I received a number of thoughtful emails following our recent podcast on mindfulness meditation, which seems to be quite popular these days, but there some push-back from listeners who all did not agree that mindfulness is an effective way of combating negative thoughts and feelings.

Email from Jeremy

Hi David,

I listened to the Feeling Good Podcast on meditation this morning and had some thoughts I wanted to share. For context I’ve been meditating daily for about 3 months.

First – I personally think that if someone is struggling with depression or anxiety, TEAM-CBT is a dramatically faster acting and more powerful tool than mindfulness. I’ve never seen or heard about someone having a dramatic recovering in just a few hours due to mindfulness. I’ve never seen the idea of resistance explored in any kind of mindfulness book or article.

I also don’t really think much of mindfulness as a “method” in the TEAM model, because compared to the other methods for removing negative thoughts it’s extremely weak. I imagine that with hundreds of hours of mindfulness practice you might reach a point where it’s easier to let go of negative thoughts. (There are a lot of reports like that/) However, it’s a very slow way of dealing with negative thoughts compared to externalization of voices etc. 

I think for a therapist who knows TEAM to suggest mindfulness as a key practice to their patient is almost negligent, since TEAM is so much more effective.

That said, I’ve sensed a few benefits of mindfulness which is why I’ve been investing my time in it:

– I think you can view meditation as concentration practice, and I’ve found that meditation increases my ability to concentrate 

– You can reach a very calm and relaxed state in meditation where you cease to have thoughts, and this state is extremely pleasurable

– I’ve noticed that mindfulness increase my ability to enjoy experiences, including experiences I might enjoy less if I was having even positive or neutral thoughts. As an example, after about 30 minutes of meditation the other day I went for a walk in the woods and stop for about 10 minutes to look at a ridge. My visual experience was completely immersive and I even started to feel like the trees were breathing with me. It was one of the high points of my week. I suspect that even someone who had no negative thoughts might be flooded with positive but irrelevant thoughts (like a yummy meal they might be headed to eat later) would have enjoyed this scene much less. 

I’ve also run an experiment using the PAS and CBT to remove the motivation to have distracting thoughts. (ie write down the advantages to having distracting thoughts and disadvantages of focusing on the breath, and then talk back to those) I would classify it as a highly successful experiment, after talking back to all the good reasons to think about something besides my breath my focus got dramatically better. I wonder if this technique could be used to either improve meditation or even supplant the need for it. (because it gets rid of distracting thoughts directly, while meditation is basically practice for having fewer distracting thoughts) 

Anyway, just thought I would share some thoughts and ideas with you. 

Best, 

Jeremy

Email from Paul

Hey, Dr. Burns!

I am with you in terms of the skepticism of mindfulness as a panacea. I also am not sure how particularly effective it is even as a tool in the fight against negative thoughts. I personally cannot seem to get anything out of it, but I am trying to make sense out of how so many people can find it useful.

Perhaps you could put it like this: Mindfulness is not a specific technique for specific problems, but a general method for psychological health. If you have a specific medical condition, you’ll want to get a specific treatment. Sometimes specific conditions can be alleviated by taking care of your health generally (eating healthier, sleeping better, etc.) Still, depending upon the disease, in order to get rid of it, you’ll need a specific treatment. However, even when you’re not dealing with a specific disease, generally good health practices can lower your chances of getting any diseases and lessen the severity when they do arise. In sum, perhaps the goals of mindfulness and CBT are different.

I think that might respect what both you and Fabrice are getting at. I think this goes to answer partly a question I’ve had about TEAM. To what extent is alleviation of anxiety, depression, etc the final goal? Are there religious, spiritual, or psychological problems that are positive goals beyond relief? In Feeling Good, it sounded like you thought that happiness was just the absence of depression. Is that all there is to say about human flourishing? Or do you methodologically stick within the parameters of your client’s value system, asking only “what can I help you with” because you’re a psychologist and not a priest, for example?

Paul

David and Rhonda discuss several important points raised by these listeners, including:

Non-specific vs. / specific interventions. David describes an elderly man named Ezekiel who had escaped from Nazi Germany as a teenager, and still felt like a “totally worthless human being” in spite of incredible success in life. He’d start out shining shoes on the streets of New York City) and end up as a wealthy industrialist, but that did nothing to boost his self-esteem. He’d decades of psychotherapy as well, but it was not effective.

David encouraged him to jog long distances daily to boost the release of “endorphins” in the brain, but that did not work either. Nor would medication or meditation have worked, either.

When you learn why Ezekiel felt like a “worthless human being,” you’ll see exactly why! And you’ll also learn what did work to end decades of suffering and self-doubt.

The time required for meditation, not only during sessions, but in between sessions, is considerable. David would prefer his patients use this time for doing specific psychotherapy homework.

Formulaic treatment. Life has always been stressful, and people are always looking for some simple “solution” to emotional problems, which seem almost universal. The current wellness fad is a great example of that. So, people promote a healthy diet, daily exercise, daily meditation, daily prayer, relaxation training, deep breathing, expressing gratitude, and a host of other things as the secret of happiness and contentment.

These formulas, in my opinion (DB), do not have, and will never have, more than a placebo effect in the treatment of stress. depression, anxiety disorders, relationship problems, and habits and addictions. Sadly, those who are hugely enthusiastic about one of these fads, or formulas, will not want to hear what I just said, as sometimes we just don’t want to have our beliefs challenged. We see this resistance in politics, in religion, and in almost every aspect of our lives.

Mindfulness is already a TEAM technique, even without meditation–but not a terribly effective method, in David’s clinical experience. However, for certain kinds of recurrent negative thoughts, Self-Monitoring and Reattribution can be helpful. These techniques are similar to Mindfulness Meditation, but are only two of more than 100 Methods David uses in treatment, and they are not for everybody. David gives an example of the intensely anxious eye doctor with OCD who was afraid of going blind, who responded to Self-Monitoring and Response Prevention.

There’s nothing wrong with a healthy diet, or meditation, or prayer, or anything that you enjoy, anything that gives you a sense of meaning. But these non-specific approaches should not be confused with specific treatments for depression, anxiety disorders, conflicts in relationships with others, or habits and addictions.

Thanks for listening!

David and Rhonda

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here. 

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

135: Smashing Shyness: Part 2 of 2 Consecutive Shows on Social Anxiety
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135: Smashing Shyness: Part 2 of 2 Consecutive Shows on Social Anxiety

How to Overcome Shyness

In a recent podcast, David and Rhonda emphasized the importance of specificity–selecting one specific moment when you want help. This is very true in the treatment of shyness. 

Jason, who we introduced in the last podcast, wanted to work on the intense anxiety he felt in the locate grocery store. He thought the woman checking groceries was attractive, but he was terrified about talking to her, or trying to flirt. So he said nothing, and left the store feeling like a failure. 

After this humiliating experience, he filled out a Daily Mood Log and listed all the Negative Thoughts and feelings he’d had while waiting to check his groceries. After doing Positive Reframing, he decided on the Negative Though he wanted to work on first: “People will think I’m a self-centered jerk if I try to flirt with her.” David and Jason put this thought in the Recovery Circle and selected more than 20 techniques Jason could use to challenge thought. 

While you’re listening, you may enjoy looking at the PowerPoint presentation. You’ll find Jason’s Daily Mood Log, the Recovery Circle, the Downward Arrow Technique, and more. These visuals will help your learning!

On the podcast, David and Rhonda illustrate how to challenge that thought using many of the methods listed on the Recovery Circle, including:

  • Identify the Distortions. They found all ten distortions in this thought.
  • The Straightforward Technique. This technique was not effective, since the Positive Thought Jason came up with was not valid, and it did not reduce his belief in the Negative Thought. However, this technique did reveal something important about Jason—he seems to see the world in an adversarial way, and imagines he is in competition with others who will try to put him down.
  • The Cost-Benefit Analysis. What the are Advantages and Disadvantages of Jason’s Negative Thought? Jason did a remarkable job with this technique, and found it helpful and illuminating.
  • The Individual Downward Arrow Technique. David and Rhonda illustrated how this works, using role-playing. They were able to identify five of Jason’s Self-Defeating Beliefs that are extremely common in Social Anxiety, including:
    • Perfectionism
    • Perceived Perfectionism
    • The Approval Addiction
    • The Spotlight Fallacy
    • The Brushfire Fallacy
  • The Paradoxical Double Standard Technique. What would Jason say to a dear friend who was also struggling with severe shyness? Would he say, “People will think you’re a self-centered jerk if you try to flirt with her.” If not, why not? What would Jason say to a friend? And would he be willing to talk to himself in the same compassionate way? This technique was also very helpful to Jason.
  • Examine the Evidence. What’s the evidence that people will think he’s a self-centered jerk if he tries to flirt with a young lady he’s attracted to?
  • Survey Technique. Have his friends ever struggled with anxiety when they were starting to date? Would they think of him as a “self-centered jerk” if he was more outgoing and flirtatious? This was a homework assignment, to ask his friends. The information he got was a huge surprise.
  • Thinking in Shades of Gray. He thinks he has to sweep her off her feet or he’ll get totally rejected and ostracized by the human race. Is there some easier goal he could shoot for?
  • He’s telling himself that if she shoots him down, it will prove that he’s a “loser.” Are there other reasons why a grocery checker might not respond favorably to a young man who is trying to flirt with her?
  • Feared Fantasy / Acceptance Paradox. David and Rhonda illustrate this amazing technique, with role-reversals. This technique will help Jason crush the Self-Defeating Beliefs that cause his shyness in the first place, like the Approval Addiction.

These techniques were extremely helpful to Jason, and all of his negative feelings went down dramatically by the end of his first therapy session. However, he will have to do more work outside the office for homework, using Interpersonal Exposure Techniques to confront his fears of rejection, including:

  • Smile and Hello practice
  • Flirting Training
  • Talk show Host
  • Rejection Practice
  • Self-Disclosure
  • Shame Attacking Exercises

These assignments terrified Jason, but he courageously agreed and followed through. He had his share of rejections, as we all do, but had some successes, too, and soon was dating a lot and enjoying it, and his shyness became a thing of the past. The treatment only required four sessions.

Thanks for listening!

David and Rhonda

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Berkeley, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here. 

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Sadly, the Feeling Good Institute wants to limit this workshop to therapists. But you can check out my summer intensives below. Non therapists have attended from time to time, and seemed to enjoy the intensives. I try to teach at a simple, clear, basic level, with little or no jargon.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

134: Smashing Shyness: Part 1 of 2 Consecutive Shows on Social Anxiety
by

134: Smashing Shyness: Part 1 of 2 Consecutive Shows on Social Anxiety

How to Overcome Shyness

David and Rhonda begin with two emails (among many) from listeners asking for more help on the problem of social anxiety.

Email from “Margaret:”

Hi David,

How do you distinguish a personality disorder – say, for example, Avoidant Personality Disorder, from “just” (and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way) being depressed and anxious?

I ask because I have a strong suspicion that I may be suffering from Avoidant Personality Disorder, and I think if you knew my history you would probably agree that there are strong signs (I have been having problems from my early childhood until now, and I am 30 years old now).

Also, a further question – is it possible to have severe anxiety without feeling like the confrontation with the thing you’re afraid of means you’re going to die? I have isolated myself completely, and I have no social life in any sense of the word – my only real contact with the outside world is through my job, because it is a necessity for living. But it’s not because I think I’m going to die if I hang around people – I just very strongly dislike it and ‘shut down’ or ‘freeze’ due to all the thoughts in my head about being negatively judged and watched, so I prefer to avoid contact with people, and in situations where I’m forced to endure it, I’ll usually find ways to ‘avoid’ or escape the situation. 

There are many ways I do this – since I was very young I’ve had the habit of purposely looking annoyed, so that people would not approach me, even though I secretly wish they would (oh, the paradox..), and at work I will often be listening to music with earphones – both because the music calms my anxiety, and because it makes me appear less ‘available’ to other people. 

In situations where I cannot escape crowds – say, in the canteen during my lunch break – I’ll sit by myself, as far away from everyone else as I can, and leave as soon as I have taken the last bite of my food. In college I would often hide in the bathroom by myself during breaks, or I would avoid interpersonal contact in some other way. And so on and so forth. These are just a few examples – I could give you a million others. 

I am aware of my own behavioral patterns but still feel powerless to change them. It’s like being an observer, observing yourself committing the same mistakes over and over, but with an anxiety so strong that rationality alone is not enough to change the behavior. After 30 years of this, it’s getting old. I have never felt any other way, so I cannot fathom what it means to lead a normal life.

I have never had a friend in any usual sense of the term, and I literally never spend time with anyone in my spare time except for my parents. As a consequence, I have never learned or understood how to make friends, and I have never been in an intimate relationship, or taken part in any of the social activities that are normal to other people (parties, school dances, etc.) The simplest things are rocket science to me. So, I’m interested to know when a person crosses over from “simply” being depressed or anxious into having a personality disorder.

If you use any of this for a future episode I am fine with that – you can even quote me directly. But I only ask that you please don’t use my real name as to not jeopardize my job and so on. Thank you. 🙂

Kind regards,

Margaret

David explains that there is no such thing as “Avoidant Personality Disorder.” It is just an imaginary concept created by the American Psychiatric Association, and is applied to individuals with shyness that is so severe that it causes significant problems in their lives.

And yes, you can definitely deal with mild, moderate, or even extremely severe problems with the TEAM-CBT as well as exercises in my books, such as The Feeling Good Handbook, When Panic Attacks, and Intimate Connections.

They also read an email from “Abdul,” a podcast fan who’s been struggling with shyness.

I’m from Pakistan. Please make podcasts on shyness and public speaking and other anxiety issues.

I have anxiety shyness. My father has also anxiety. I know he is not happy. I also sometime feel exactly like him.

And one of my cousins is very much depressed. He is a cleaner in a garments shop. He always use to pack clothes all the time even if they are kept properly.

Dr burns please guide us. It would be very very helpful.

Sorry if I wrote anything unprofessional.

Thank you.

Several days later, David received an additional email from “Abdul:”

My social anxiety has returned back. In my office I feel very lonely. 

Here my negative thoughts:

  1. I should say something impressive.
  2. I’m good looking so I should not be anxious.
  3. I should talk to girls.
  4. I should say hi to people.
  5. I should mix with people.

Today and next week, David and Rhonda will describe how to treat / overcome shyness using TEAM-CBT. David explains that this is probably his favorite problem to treat, since he himself has struggled with every conceivable form of social anxiety, so he really knows how to defeat this problem. 

But to start out, David and Rhonda want to see how shy YOU are, so they administered David’s Shyness Test verbally to listeners. if you’d like to take the paper and pencil version, click here. You’ll also find the scoring.

How did you do on the Shyness Test?

Now let’s talk about how the treatment works. While you’re listening, you may enjoy following along on this PowerPoint presentation, which I will publish next week as well.

We’ll publish them next week, too. You’ll find Jason’s Daily Mood Log, the Recovery Circle, the Downward Arrow Technique, and more. These visuals will help your learning!

We always start with a Daily Mood Log, focusing on how you were thinking and feeling at a specific moment when you felt shy. We don’t just throw techniques at patients based on a problem (shyness) or diagnosis (Social Anxiety Disorder). We’re all different, so the treatment is highly individualized. 

Rhonda and David describe a shy young man  named Jason who wanted to flirt with an attractive woman checking groceries when he was inline at his local supermarket on a Saturday. However, he was flooded with Negative Thoughts and feelings, and by the time he got to the front of the line, he was so terrified that he avoided all eye contact with the checker, and didn’t even say a word to her, when she checked his groceries. He left the store feeling like a total loser.

David and Rhonda talk about reducing the Outcome and Process Resistance before trying to “help” Jason, or any one who’s anxious. Outcome Resistance means that Jason may have some pretty strong resistance to recovery, in spite of how much he’s suffered, even if all he had to do was to press a Magic Button and be instantly cured.

Process Resistance, in contrast, means that if Jason does want to recover, he’ll have to use some Interpersonal Exposure Techniques that will be frightening to him. Is he willing to do that if David agrees to treat his shyness?

David and Rhonda illustrate how to do Positive Reframing , listing all the really positive things about Jason’s negative thoughts and feelings.  They encourage listeners to turn off the podcast briefly, and see if they can list some positives before listening to the list that David and Rhonda generated. I’d encourage you to do that, too, while listening. Try it yourself before you see the “answers.”

They discuss how they might issue a Gentle Ultimatum, along with Dangling the Carrot and “Sitting with Open Hands,” to reduce Jason’s Process Resistance. 

Once Jason’s resistance has been reduced, they will go on to the M = Methods of the session, and focus on how to help Jason challenge the Negative Thoughts that Jason had while standing in line waiting to check his groceries.

Next week, they’ll describe the methods they selected and describe what happened when David used them during his session with Jason.

* Copyright ã 1996 by David D. Burns, M.D. Revised, 2019

Thanks for listening!

David and Rhonda

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Berkeley, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here. 

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Sadly, the Feeling Good Institute wants to limit this workshop to therapists. But you can check out my summer intensives below. Non therapists have attended from time to time, and seemed to enjoy the intensives. I try to teach at a simple, clear, basic level, with little or no jargon.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

133: Finale — Goodbye Fabrice! Hello Rhonda!
by

133: Finale — Goodbye Fabrice! Hello Rhonda!

A Fabulous (but Sad) Finale for our Fantastic and Beloved Fabrice–

Mission Accomplished!

Dear Feeling Good Podcast fans,

I am profoundly sad to say goodbye to my beloved friend and terrific podcast host, Dr. Fabrice Nye, who is leaving the podcast to start his own show this spring. I wish him well on his new podcast he’ll be releasing soon. I’ll share the specifics when they become available so loyal fans can tune in and follow him!

What a joyous experience it has been working with Fabrice for the last three years. He proposed the idea of a weekly podcast in the spring of 2016. We started publishing episodes on this website, but we realized that we needed wider distribution. So, we re-launched the podcast and re-published the first few episodes on iTunes, starting with episode #001 on October 27 of that year. Together we have been able to share TEAM-CBT with many enthusiastic listeners. We just exceeded more than 70,000 downloads monthly and are now almost at 1,000,000 all-time downloads. Please join me in wishing him well!

My feelings of profound loss are comforted by welcoming another dear friend and colleague, Dr. Rhonda Barovsky, our new host. Rhonda and I look forward to creating many more fabulous podcasts for all of you.

Rhonda received her doctoral degree in Forensic Psychology from the Eisner Institute for Professional Studies in 2013. Throughout her career, she has been a champion of women’s rights and defender of the victims of childhood sexual abuse. Rhonda is the founder of the San Francisco Juvenile Sex Offender Treatment Program and has served as Director of San Francisco Family Court Services. She has also worked at the San Francisco Rape Treatment Center, providing crisis and short-term counseling for adult survivors of sexual assault and their families.

Rhonda is a certified TEAM-CBT therapist and esteemed teacher. In her clinical practice, she focuses on TEAM-CBT for adults struggling with depression, anxiety disorders, and relationship problems.

She brings warmth, enthusiasm and brilliance to her new role as host of the Feeling Good Podcasts:

“I am extremely honored to be invited to host the Feeling Good Podcast with Dr. David Burns. Fabrice Nye has been a visionary, and his shoes will be impossible to fill. I hope to add to the joy and excitement of learning and teaching TEAM-CBT along with David and having lively and productive discussions.” Dr. Rhonda Barovsky

Rhonda and I will be posting two surveys shortly on my website, www.FeelingGood.com, to find out more about you. I want to find out if you are a therapist or non-therapist, and what kinds of topics might interest you the most.

And unlike some tech giants, we promise to keep your information totally confidential. We don’t sell information; we just want to do the best job we can for therapists and non-therapists alike, for free. If you are a “patient,” we want to accelerate your learning and your recovery as well. If you are a “therapist,” we want to help you improve you skills and your joy in your clinical work. 

I put the words, “patient” and “therapist” in quotes, because the line between the two is very narrow indeed! As “therapists,” most of us struggle at times with the same human dilemmas that our patients face. And as we do our own personal work, as therapists, we bring far more healing and compassion to our work with our “patients!”

On the show, Fabrice and David share fondest memories of the show, and Rhonda talks about new directions as she becomes the host of the Feeling Good Podcast. Fabrice also gives some hints about his new show, which will be broadcast in French and English. Fabrice will describe and translate new developments in psychology research and relate the findings to our daily lives. 

Thank you so much for your awesome support over the past 2 ½ years!

Fabrice, David and Rhonda

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

132: Ask David: Do we REALLY create our own interpersonal reality? What if you’re being raped?
by

132: Ask David: Do we REALLY create our own interpersonal reality? What if you’re being raped?

Hi Folks!

Here’s the short version of today’s Ask David questions.

  1. Do depression and anxiety result from medical illnesses, like thyroid problems?
  2. Do we REALLY create our own interpersonal reality? What if you’re being raped? Are you saying that’s your fault? How can that be?
  3. I struggle with anxiety. Why is it a mistake to try to “calm down?”
  4. How do you deal with entitlement? I think my patients should do what I tell them to do! After all, I’m a highly trained professional!
  5. How do you deal with racism, sexism, and other societal barriers? What if the injustice is real and it isn’t “all in your head?”

And here are the longer versions. Fabrice and I hope you enjoy these thoughtful questions submitted by listeners like you!

1. Barbara asks: 1) How are hypothyroidism, depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder related, and (2) how are heart disease, depression, and anxiety related?

2. Mark asks: I’m one of your most avid listeners to your podcasts. I’ve listened to most of Feeling Good Podcasts as well as the recordings of your Facebook live broadcasts with Jill. I absolutely love your content and extremely grateful for your insights and the material you put out for free. I’ve heard you say numerous times how in interpersonal relationship problems we create the poor behavior we see in the other.

At what point though, is a threshold crossed and you acknowledge the other in the relationship is creating problems? For example, if your client is being raped by their partner and is being threatened with violence if they dare leave, you wouldn’t say to your client you’re creating that kind of treatment from your partner.

Obviously the above is a very extreme example, but what if its scaled back in terms of severity of abuse, stopping short of physical attacks and threats? Where does a line in the sand get drawn where you acknowledge the client is not creating the problems themselves? I’d deeply appreciate your reply!

3. Angela asks: I was intrigued by your comment in your podcast #88 on Role-Playing Techniques that “trying to calm down is a big mistake. . . then your emotions become your enemies,” but then you said, “that’s a good topic for another podcast.” I hope you do a podcast on that topic!!! I’m eagerly waiting to hear more about that!

4. Julio asks: I’d like to share my experience. I am a therapist and I suffered from, and am still working on, feeling inadequate. I frequently questioned “am I good enough to be a therapist?” “How can I help others if I have issues of my own?”

After reading Feeling Good I realized I frequently jump to conclusions, engage in mind reading, and labeling whenever there is some uncertainty with my clients. At times I might even have blamed them when things didn’t go the way I thought they should go.

I believe I do that to protect my ego, and I might have developed some cognitive distortions related to entitlement such as

  • “I’m a therapist, people are supposed to do what I say”
  • “I worked too hard and too long and potential employers better give me what I deserve”
  • “Because I practice evidence-based therapy, I’m better than 99% of all therapists.”

These entitled thoughts led me to become irate whenever someone didn’t act according to my expectations. I would vacillate between feeling angry and feeling depressed.

I guess when I initially emailed Fabrice I was confused as to how my entitlement develops, but now I’m realizing that it comes from the same distortions that can cause depression. I didn’t know that distortions could produce depression and entitlement.

I’m curious what you and Fabrice think about this. I thoroughly what you and Fabrice think about this. I thoroughly enjoy your podcast and often find myself re-listening to earlier episodes.

5. Holly asks: “ Burns: I have found tremendous value in your books and podcast. I have noticed that you discuss some emails/letters/etc. on your podcast and I have one I’d like to hear you discuss. What are your thoughts on dealing with racism, sexism, and other societal barriers?

For example, it is not uncommon for people with dominant identities (white, male, physically able) to tell women, people of color, or those with physical challenges that their issues are all in their minds and that if they thought differently, then they would have different outcomes.

I am an African-American woman and I don’t believe this (the statistics on access to education, employment, and justice all suggest otherwise). What are you saying (if anything) in your writing, practice about thoughts related to injustice?

Best, Holly

So there you have it! Great questions, and keep them coming!

By the way, one of our podcast fans has written an outstanding and thoughtful article asking if there is a causal link between Donald Trump’s Twitter tweets and anti-Muslim hate crimes for the prestigious journal, Scientific American. Here’s the link. 

Thanks, David and Fabrice

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * *

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

131: Ask David–How Can I Develop Greater Joy and Happiness? Does “Neuroticism” Exist?
by

131: Ask David–How Can I Develop Greater Joy and Happiness? Does “Neuroticism” Exist?

We are getting some fascinating questions from our listeners. Thanks! In today’s podcast, we will answer six of them.

Debbie asks: Can you use TEAM-CBT to help people with medical disorders, such as Parkinsonism or Cancer?

Here is the promised link to Stirling Moorey’s book on Cognitive Therapy for cancer patients.

Here is the link the first episode of live therapy with Marilyn, a woman who was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer a couple days before her session with David and Dr. Matthew May.  You may also want to listen to podcasts 50 to 52 and 59, which also feature David and Matt working with Marilyn. Marilyn described these inspiring podcasts as mind-blowing!

Mark asks: How can I help a depressed family member or friend who is passive and doesn’t want to do anything?

Paul asks: How can I get over death anxiety?

Sune asks: If you’re super-shy, does this mean you have “Avoidant Personality Disorder?” What’s the difference between garden variety shyness and a personality disorder?

Sly asks: “Do you believe in the big five personality traits model? And will your therapy tools change these big five traits? I got a score of 67 on neuroticism, which means I am more prone to anger, depression, anxiety, and vulnerability, and tend to think about things in a pessimistic way. If I do the exercises in your books, and develop a more realistic outlook on myself and others, does it follow that my “personality traits” will get more or less changed?”

According to Wikipedia, the “Big Five” are O = Openness to experience, C = Conscientiousness, E = Extraversion, A = Agreeableness, and N = Neuroticism, often represented by the acronym, OCEAN.

Here’s an important point I forgot to make on the podcast. According to Wikipedia, here’s  the definition of “Neuroticism:” People with high neuroticism indexes are at risk for the development and onset of common mental disorders. . .  such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and substance use disorder, symptoms of which had traditionally been called neuroses.”

Can you see that this is a tautology? In other words, they ask you if you tend to have these kinds of symptoms, then they tell you this is “due to” some “trait” you have called “neuroticism.” But they are defining “neuroticism” as people who tend to have more of these kinds of symptoms! It’s circular reasoning. 

I hope you can “see” this! The reason I mention this is they make it sound like they discovered some “trait” you have which causes you to have depression, or anxiety, and so forth. But they haven’t! It’s just a word game. In fact, scientists don’t yet know the causes of any of these problems, and “traits” do not actually “exist.” 

Haike asks: What if you’ve battled your negative thoughts and self-defeating beliefs and still don’t feel happy? An absence of depression and anxiety does not necessarily mean more joy in life. How can you help people find out where they want to go in life, who they want to be, and what it is that brings them happiness?”

Here is the promised link to the first of the five podcasts on Five Simple Ways to Boost Your Happiness.

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

A COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOP FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

jill-david

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of anxiety disorders on Sunday, May 19, 2019. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested. 

The last Sunday workshop in February sold out quickly so register soon if you are interested. You can join in Palo Alto in person or online from anywhere in the world.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS DURING THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

WHEN: May 19, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES! 7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? Although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from.

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

WILL I HAVE GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOME COOL COLLEAGUES? Yes!

WILL I GET AN AWESOME FREE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH? Yes!

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, video, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

Act fast if you want to attend!

* * * 

Check out the two awesome summer intensives this year!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

130: What’s Fractal Psychotherapy? How do you help someone with Asperger’s?
by

130: What’s Fractal Psychotherapy? How do you help someone with Asperger’s?

A Random Strange Encounter—
and the Emergence of Fractal Psychotherapy

* * * PLUS  * * *

How can you help a family member with Asperger’s /

high-functioning Autistic spectrum problems? 

Today’s podcast features special guest host, Dr. Rhonda Barovsky!

I (David) begin this podcast with a description of a random encounter I had one day when I was walking in downtown Bryn Mawr, when my wife and I were still living in Pennsylvania. A young man started walking next to me and talking. He seemed friendly and told me that he he’d been studying Buddhism and was hoping to become a motivational speaker.

That might sound racist to call him a “black man.” I agree, and my colleague, Fabrice, asked, “If he’d been white, would you have called him a “young white man?”

I had to agree that I would not have described him as a young white man. But this was a very white area. If a young white man was walking in a neighborhood that was predominantly black, I think I might actually have described him as a “young white man.”

At any rate, I was curious, and told him I didn’t know much about Buddhism but found it interesting. He explained that according to Buddhism, we get reincarnated repeatedly, going through the life-death cycle over and over again. He also explained that if you could just change yourself for one brief moment, you would experience enlightenment and you’d no longer have to go through the life and death cycle and more. In addition, because the world is one, the entire world would be become enlightened at the same time. He cautioned that it’s extremely difficult to change yourself for even one brief moment, and this achievement typically requires hundreds or even thousands of reincarnations.

This was interesting, but seemed totally nutty, and I was concerned that his prospects as a motivational speaker might be a bit limited. How can one small change trigger enlightenment? And how could the entire universe become enlightened at the same moment?

Impossible! Right?

But when I began to think of what he’d said in the context of my clinical work, it began to make total sense. One of the most important ideas in TEAM-CBT is the concept of Specificity, one of the key steps in Paradoxical Agenda Setting. Here’s how it works. If you’re my patient, and you want help, I will ask you what specific problem you want help with. These are the four most common problems I see: depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, or habits and addictions. Then I’ll ask you to zero in on one specific moment when you were struggling with that problem.

For example, if you want help with depression and low self-esteem, I’ll ask you to describe one moment when you were feeling down. It could be any moment at all—it might even be right now, sitting in my office (or reading this text).

Then I’d ask you to tell me exactly what you were thinking and feeling at that moment. You might be telling yourself, “I’m no good. I shouldn’t have screwed up! I’m always doing that! I’ll feel like this forever.” These thoughts actually cause the feelings of depression, shame, inferiority, and hopelessness.

In contrast, if you want help with anxiety, I will ask you to identify one specific moment when you were feeling anxious, worried, nervous, frightened or panicky. For example, you might have been feeling shy and insecure at a party, or terrified just before you had to take a test or give a talk at work. Or it might have been a moment when you were having a panic attack and feeling like you were on the verge of passing out or losing control and going crazy.

If you’ve been having trouble getting along with a friend or family member, I would ask you to describe one brief interaction you’ve had with the person you’re at odds with, and I’d ask you to write down one specific thing they said to you, end exactly what you said next.

For example, a podcast fan told me that his wife said, “You never listen.” He responded by saying, “That’s not true! I’m listening to you right now.” He was puzzled when she got even more upset and then the argument escalated!

I recently did a one-day workshop on the treatment of unwanted habits and addictions, like procrastination, overeating, excessive cell phone use, or drinking too much. I encouraged the audience members to focus on one specific moment when they felt tempted to procrastinate, binge, or have a drink, or give in to their habit / addiction, and to write down all the Tempting Thoughts that were going through their minds, like:

  • Oh, that beer looks SO GOOD!
  • I’ve had a hard day, I deserve it.
  • I’ll just take one little sip. That can’t hurt!
  • There’s a good basketball game on TV. It will be way more fun to watch if I enjoy a few beers!

In each case—of depression, anxiety, a relationship problem, or a habit / addiction—I focus on one brief and specific moment when my patient was upset and having that problem. There are two reason for this concept of Specificity:

  1. When we understand what was happening at that one brief moment, we will understand everything of importance about that problem. As it turns out, all of your suffering will be encapsulated in that one brief example. So, when you understand why you were feeling depressed or panicky or whatever at that specific moment, you will understand everything you need to know about why you get depressed, or panicky, or whatever at any moment of your life.
  2. In addition, the moment you learn how to change the way you were thinking, feeling at that one brief moment, you will become enlightened, and you will suddenly grasp the solution to all of your problems. That’s because that one specific problem will simply repeat itself over and over, in slightly different disguises, every time you are depressed, or anxious, or arguing with a friend or family member, or struggling with temptations. So, once you understand the solution to that problem at one specific moment, you will understand the solution to that type of problem at any time in your life.

For example, if you were having a conflict with a loved one, you will not only learn how to resolve that conflict at that specific moment, but you will learn how to resolve any conflict you have with that person, or with practically anybody.

Fabrice and David link this Specificity concept to the amazing insights of the new branch of “fractal geometry.” Fractal geometry is a revolutionary form of mathematics in which a very simple formula, or shape, gets reproduced an infinite number of times. In the process, it morphs from a simple geometric shape and suddenly becomes a complex picture. For example, it may turn into a stunning green fern, or a gorgeous, multi-colored parrot, or a breathtaking landscape. But if you zero in on the tiniest piece of the picture, it will always look exactly the same—the same simple design that started the process.

Similarly, in “fractal psychotherapy,” we zero in on one very brief moment of your life, but the formula—or error—that caused you to become upset at that moment will always be the very same error you make every time you feet inferior or anxious or angry or tempted. And once you’ve changed at that one brief moment, you really will experience enlightenment! And your entire universe will become enlightened as well!

Fabrice provides another metaphor, that of a hologram. A hologram is a photograph that allows to display a fully 3-dimensional picture of an object. The hologram works differently from a regular photograph. Citing from Wikipedia, “When a photograph is cut in half, each piece shows half of the scene. When a hologram is cut in half, the whole scene can still be seen in each piece.” This remains true as you fragment the hologram into smaller and smaller pieces. So you could say that your problem is a kind of hologram of all the problems in your life, in a single moment so you can see the pattern that is repeated in many other situations.

David provides an example of how this works, using an example provided by a podcast fan we’ll call Janine. Janine was convinced that her husband couldn’t deal with feelings because he had “Asperger’s / high level autism.” David asked Janine for a brief simple exchange between Janine and her husband. what, exactly, did he say to her, and what exactly, did she say next?

That brief moment is all we need to understand her problem; and things suddenly began to look radically different when we examined how she responded to her husband!

You can see the first two steps of Janine’s Relationship Journal if you can click here.

It turned out she was right–someone definitely WASN’T dealing with feelings? But who? You’ll see two spiritual principles brought to life in the Relationship Journal.

  1. We create our personal reality at every moment of every day.
  2. We like to blame others for the problems in our relationships instead of pinpointing our own role in the problem.
  3. Intimacy, and enlightenment, require a painful death of the ego, or self. When you “look inward” for the cause of the problem, instead of blaming, you will find the answer you’ve been looking for–but the answer can sometimes be pretty painful.
  4. If you’re willing to let your ego, or “self,” die, you will receive a pretty awesome reward in heaven. But this heaven occurs when you are still alive!

You’ll see Rhonda model a more effective response using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, as well as one of the advanced communication techniques called “Multiple Choice Empathy.”

David

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Check it out now!

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE
THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend! The February 10 workshop habits and addictions sold out early.

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

THE INTENSIVES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS
THE BEST WORKSHOPS OF THE YEAR!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

129: Flexing the Mindfulness Meditation Muscle
by

129: Flexing the Mindfulness Meditation Muscle

What is Mindfulness? Why Meditate?

In this role-reversal of the traditional Feeling Good Podcast, Dr. David Burns and his special guest, Dr. Rhonda Barovsky, interview Dr. Fabrice Nye, your beloved podcast host, on the topic of Mindfulness and Meditation, which are currently popular with the therapeutic community.

Fabrice answers questions like these:

  1. What’s mindfulness? How does it differ from meditation?
  2. What’s the history of mindfulness as well as meditation? Did it originate with the Buddha, or did it date back even earlier?
  3. What are some of the goals and potential benefits of mindfulness?
  4. Why specific exercises can you do to develop greater mindfulness ?
  5. Why is mindfulness helpful? How does it work?
  6. Some people meditate in silence for prolonged times, like ten days, for example. What is the goal here?
  7. Are there any dangers of meditation?
  8. How does mindfulness differ from yoga, relaxation training, and self-hypnosis?
  9. Some people seem to love and benefit from meditation, and others find it uninteresting or even annoying. Why is this? What’s the difference in these two groups of people? Is it okay not to be interested in meditation, or is something that everyone “should” do?
  10. The goal of mindfulness seems to be learning to deal more effectively with stressful thought and feelings. Does it deal with motivation and the resistance to change? TEAM-CBT makes us aware of the incredible importance of resistance, and provides many methods for reducing or eliminating resistance before you try any Method to “help” the patient. Does Mindfulness Meditation deal with resistance, or would it best be viewed as a method that can help individuals who are already strongly motivated to invest time and effort in their personal growth?

David

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett VanDonsel, you may download it here.

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Check it out now!

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE
THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend! The February 10 workshop habits and addictions sold out early.

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

THE INTENSIVES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS
THE BEST WORKSHOPS OF THE YEAR!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

128: Intense Social Anxiety–I’m Losing Control! What Can I Do? Part 1.
by

128: Intense Social Anxiety–I’m Losing Control! What Can I Do? Part 1.

Feedback from last week’s workshop from the woman who provided the example of a political conflict with her mother:

Hi David and Fabrice,

I listened to the podcast on the way to work today, I loved it! Felt honored by the kind attention David and Fabrice gave to this.

Using the 5 secrets has led to a much healthier and loving relationship with my  mom, and her Xmas visit was so much nicer than others have been, because I understood so much more about what her political stance means to her. I think it is a way for her to stay connected to my dad, who died 5 years ago–they loved to talk about politics together, though he was as brainwashed as she is. 😉

That allowed me to realize that her vote for Trump, and her failure to understand how horrifying he is, wasn’t a personal swipe at me. It was about longing and connection, and although it seems twisted to me, her Faux news/Alex Jones/Sean Hannity group on TV is a reliable community for her.

Anyway, I think she felt more loved and accepted and valued when she stayed with us this year, and I feel really great about that. Thank you all for the guidance and great teaching!

Eileen

Thanks so much for that wonderful note, Eileen! . . . And now for today’s show!

You CAN Defeat Shyness!

Lately, I’ve gotten lots of emails from podcast fans who struggle with shyness, which is categorized in DSM5 (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as “Social Anxiety Disorder.” This is one of my favorite things to treat, since I struggled with practically EVERY type of social anxiety early in my life, so I really know how it feels and how to defeat it. It’s incredibly common. In fact, when I give workshops for mental health professionals, I sometimes ask how many of them have struggled with shyness or public speaking anxiety, and nearly all the hands go up.

This podcast will be the first of several on this topic, because it’s so common and relatively easy to overcome–IF you have the courage!

Here the are several different “flavors” of social anxiety recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, including:

  1. Shyness
  2. Public Speaking Anxiety
  3. Performance Anxiety (such as intense anxiety during a musical or athletic performance)
  4. Shy Bladder (or Bowel) Syndrome. This is the fear of peeing or pooing in a public restroom, for fear you’ll freeze up or make too much noise and others will notice.
  5. Test Anxiety

One common theme is the fear that others will notice your anxiety or poor performance and judge you. Another common source of suffering is shame of feeling like you are inherently flawed and will be seen as defective or even as insane by others. Sometimes, these fears become so extreme that they can significantly interfere with relationships and leisure-time activities as well as work.

Dan is a podcast fan who courageously immigrated to the United States from Iran as a young man. When he arrived in America, he had little education and almost no knowledge of English. He also suffered from an extreme case of acne, which eventually cleared up, but left him with severe social anxiety.

In spite of these problems, Dan worked hard, learned English, and became a top student in college and in graduate school as well, and went on to develop an excellent career. But in certain performance situations, such as public speaking or interacting with strangers, he panics and trembles and his heart races; his mouth twitches and his voice gets shaky, and he has thoughts like these:

  1. I’m about to lose control over myself.
  2. Others will see my symptoms and think I’m mentally insane.
  3. In spite of making Herculean efforts to control these symptoms, I have failed.
  4. I will never overcome this.
  5. I am defective for life.
  6. I will lose my job.

David and Fabrice remind listeners that they cannot treat anyone through a podcast, and that there are large numbers of treatment techniques that can be extremely helpful in the context of a compassionate and skillful therapeutic relationship. Since Dan is seeing an excellent therapist, they suggest and illustrate five powerful Interpersonal Exposure Techniques that Dan might want to do under the supervision of his therapist, including:

  1. The Survey Technique
  2. Self-Disclosure
  3. The Experimental Technique
  4. Shame Attacking Exercises
  5. The Feared Fantasy Technique

David and Fabrice also discuss how to address patient and therapist fears of using powerful exposure techniques, and how the avoidance of exposure can sabotage the treatment. They describe four techniques David as developed to help therapists with this, including:

  • Dangling the Carrot
  • The Gentle Ultimatum
  • Sitting with Open Hands
  • Fallback Position

David describes “Reverse Hypnosis.” This is where the patient hypnotizes the therapist into giving up on exposure thinking that it is “too dangerous,” or that the patient isn’t “ready” or is “too fragile.”

And speaking of anxiety, listeners might want to consider the upcoming workshop by David and his colleague, Dr. Jill Levitt, on the treatment of anxiety disorders on May 19, 2019. Check it out below!

Also, I promised to post my list of 100 Shame Attacking Exercises, so here it is! It’s not perfect, so please have low expectations. It does have some value.

Thanks. Stay tuned for more on Social Anxiety in future podcasts!

David

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Check it out now!

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE
THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend! The February 10 workshop habits and addictions sold out early.

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

THE INTENSIVES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS
THE BEST WORKSHOPS OF THE YEAR!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

127: How Can We Communicate with Loved Ones on the Opposite Side of the Political Divide?
by

127: How Can We Communicate with Loved Ones on the Opposite Side of the Political Divide?

Can the Five Secrets of Effective Communication Help Us in this Era of Intensely Polarized Politics?

Clearly, the nation is intensely divided, and passions on both sides of the political divide are characterized by hostility, frustration, and mistrust. Can the Five Secrets of Effective Communication help us communicate with colleagues, friends and loved ones who may have radically different political beliefs?

Find out on this edition of the Feeling Good Podcast, as the David and Fabrice respond to Eileen, a podcast fan who kindly allowed us to share her intensely painful conflict with her mother with all of you. Eileen’s mother is an ardent Trump fan, and Eileen is an equally ardent anti-Trumper, and there have been plenty of tears on both sides of the aisle!

Eileen wrote:

“How can you talk to someone with whom you fundamentally disagree? My Mom is a big fan of the current regime (Trump) and I’m horrified by what’s happened in the past two years and what’s coming. It’s hard for me to get past my rage at her. . . intensely distorted and not-reality based beliefs, fed by right-wing media. To be clear, she thinks exactly the same about my beliefs and information sources. I feel so stuck. . . and I would love to repair this relationship with her before she dies.”

Can you identify with similar conflicts in your own family or circle of friends? I know that I can, and it’s quite painful. Fabrice and I will give you our take on a new approach to this widespread problem this Sunday!

While you’re listening, you can take a look at Eileen’s Relationship Journal. You may also want to review the Five Secrets of Effective Communication as well as the three advanced communication techniques we discussed in last week’s podcast.

Let us know what you think after you’ve listened to the podcast!

David

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

THREE COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Check it out now!

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERT TRAINERS TO GUIDE
THE ONLINE PARTICIPANTS IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend! The February 10 workshop habits and addictions sold out early.

And there will be two awesome summer intensives for you this year!

THE INTENSIVES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS
THE BEST WORKSHOPS OF THE YEAR!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis