Feeling Good Podcast

123: Ten MORE Errors Therapists Make (Part 1)
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123: Ten MORE Errors Therapists Make (Part 1)

I was concerned that our recent “Ten Most Common Therapist Errors” show might antagonize people, but we got quite a lot of positive and encouraging feedback from listeners, which was surprising to me. As a result, Fabrice and I decided to take a chance and publish two more shows on common therapist errors this week and next week. We hope you like these shows!

Make sure you let us know what you think, and let me apologize in advance if I come across as annoying or overly cynical. All of the errors I describe are correctable; the goal is to improve the treatment of individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, troubled relationships, or habits and addictions. Thanks!

Here are the five errors discussed in today’s show.

1. Failure to hold patients accountable. Example, the therapist may let the depressed patient slip by without doing psychotherapy homework, since the patient insists he or she doesn’t have enough time or motivation to do the homework; or the therapist may agree to treatment an anxious patient without using exposure, since the patient may resist exposure; or a patient may treat someone with a relationship conflict without exploring the patient’s role in the problem, and so forth.

David argues that this rarely or never leads to significant change, much less recovery. However, many therapists, and perhaps most, get seduced into this error for a variety of reasons.

2, The “corrective emotional experience.” This is the belief that the patient’s long-term relationship with the therapist will be sufficient for growth and recovery, without having to do any psychotherapy homework or be accountable. Therapist may imagine himself or herself as the loving and nurturing parent the patient never had.

David argues that this caters to the therapist’s ego and feeds into what the patient wants as well—a long-term relationship built on schmoozing.

But does it lead to recovery?

Here’s David’s short answer: Nope! Warmth, empathy, and trust are necessary ingredients for good therapy, but they are simply not sufficient. Your patient may think you’re the most wonderful and supportive listener in the world, but that will rarely or never lead to recovery from depression, an anxiety disorder, or an addiction, and it will not lead to the skills to heal troubled relationships, either.

3. Responding defensively to patient criticisms. David argues that therapists almost always react defensively to criticisms by patients, such “you don’t’ get me,” or “you aren’t helping,” or “you don’t really care about me.” He describes an interesting five-year study of psychoanalysts in Atlanta, Georgia, sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), to find out how the analysts responded to patient criticisms. You may find the results surprising!

He gives an example of defensive responding during a workshop he conducted at a hospital in Pennsylvania. Therapists can learn to correct this error with lots of practice with the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, but this requires several things:

  • Using the Patient’s Evaluation of Therapy Session after each session so can quickly pinpoint empathy / relationship failures.
  • Lots of practice with the Five Secrets.
  • Humility, and the willingness to see the world through the eyes of the patient. This requires the “Great Death” of the therapist’s ego!

4. Joining a school of therapy and treating everything with the same method or approach. Can you imagine what it would be like if medicine was organized like this, with “schools of therapy,” like the “penicillin school”? David apologetically argues that the abolition of all schools of therapy would be a good thing. Fabrice disagrees, and argues that the treatment of psychological problems is inherently different from the treatment of medical disorders.

Let us know what YOU think!

5. Confirmation paradox. I (David) majored in the philosophy of science in college, and this was one of the first topics, and it definitely applies to our thinking about the causes of emotional problems. I’ll try to make it really simple and understandable.

Here’s the essence of this error. If I have a theory that predicts the patient’s behavior you may conclude that your theory is correct. But this logic can be very misleading. Here’s a general science example

  • Your theory: the sun circles around the earth.
  • Your prediction: if my theory is true, the sun will come up in the east each morning and set in the west each evening.
  • Your observation: the sun DOES come up in the east and set in the west, exactly as predicted.
  • Your erroneous conclusion: the sun circles around the earth.

Now let’s consider a psychotherapy example. Many therapists believe that perfectionism and insecurity result from growing up with parents who emphasized hard work and high standards as a precondition for being loved. Now let’s assume that you have a perfectionistic and insecure patient who remembers feeling like s/he wasn’t good enough when growing up. So, you conclude that the patient’s interaction with demanding parents caused the perfectionism and insecurity.

But the perfectionism and insecurity may not have resulted from any childhood experiences or interactions with parents. It may have been strongly influenced by genetic factors, or social / environmental pressures.

We can put this in the same framework as the example about the sun:

  • Your theory: Perfectionism and insecurity result from growing up in unloving families that emphasized high standards and achievement rather than unconditional love and nurture.
  • Your prediction: Insecure, perfectionistic patients will report childhood experiences with unloving parents who pushed them to work harder, etc.
  • Your observation: Your insecure, perfectionistic patients DO describe their parents as demanding and lacking in love and support.
  • Your erroneous conclusions: The patient’s childhood experiences caused the perfectionism. 2. The patient will have to “work through” these childhood experiences if s/he wants to overcome the feelings of perfectionism and insecurity.

 

 

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

TWO COOL UPCOMING WORKSHOPS FOR YOU

Dr. Jill Levitt and I are offering what I think will be an outstanding workshop on the treatment of unwanted habits and addictions on Sunday, February 10. Our Sunday workshops are tremendously fun, so consider attending if you are interested.  We quickly sold out in-person but you can still join online.

THERE WILL BE MANY EXPERTS TRAINERS TO GUIDE THE ONLINE GROUP IN THE SMALL GROUP EXERCISES

During the program, you will have the chance to work on one of your own habits / addictions  so you will get the double benefit of learning cool new treatment techniques and doing some personal healing at the same time!

You will develop a deeper understanding of Outcome and Process Resistance, and you will learn how to deal with this twin-horned Devil. As you know, TEAM-CBT features many innovative techniques to reduce Outcome and Process Resistance.

Here’s the BAD news. Very few therapists have the skills, insights, or mind-set to deal with resistance, and this is the main cause of therapeutic failure in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, relationship problems, and habits and addictions.

Here’s the GOOD news. Once you acquire these skills, your clinical effectiveness will soar!

Here are the specifics–

Coming Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend!

Don’t miss out learning from David Burns, MD, one of the great pioneers of Cognitive Therapy, and from the fabulous, Jill Levitt, PhD, Director of Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, CA!

TEAM-CBT Methods for Unwanted Habits and Addictions: Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

WHEN: February 10th, 2019, 8:30 am – 4:30 pm PST
(11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)

WHERE: Join us live online or in person at the Creekside Inn, Palo Alto, CA.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $135,

WILL I GET CE CREDITS? YES!
7 CE hours available

WILL I GET CREDIT IN THE TEAM LICENSURE PROGRAM? YES!
Completion of this workshop also counts towards TEAM-CBT Level 1, 2 or 3 Certification

WHO CAN ATTEND? Therapists of all levels are welcome

CAN I REGISTER IF I’M NOT A THERAPIST? In my opinion (Dr. Burns), although the workshop is geared for therapists, it will be taught in a clear and basic way that anyone can benefit from. Please check with the Feeling Good Institute if you want to attend.

CAN I WORK ON MY OWN HABIT / ADDICTION? Absolutely!
Heal yourself, heal your clients!

WILL I HAVE FUN? Yes!

You will also:

  • Learn new skills to reduce resistance and boost the motivation to change. This is THE key to the treatment of any habit or addiction.
  • Learn how to use Dr. Burns’ powerful Decision-Making Tool and Triple Paradox Technique.
  • Practice and master the Devil’s Advocate Technique to help you and your patients overcome difficult-to-stop habits and addictions to drugs, alcohol, overeating, procrastination, and more.

You will love this lively, amusing, and immensely useful day of training with Drs. Burns, Levitt and the Feeling Good Institute Staff. The trainers will use a combination of didactic teaching, live demonstrations, and breakout group practice to enhance skill-building.

This wonderful workshop will stream live and is easily accessible from anywhere in the world on any device with WiFi. To join, just click on the link provided before the workshop.

REGISTER / LEARN MORE

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If you can’t join us for the addictions workshop, consider this cool program on the treatment of anxiety disorders in the spring. But register soon if you want to attend in person, as the in person slots are limited.

TEAM-CBT Methods for Anxiety Disorders–

Step-by-Step Training for Therapists

by David D. Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

May 19, 2019

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Stay tuned for more details or check it out now!

 

 

122: Why Is it so Hard to say NO? What’s the Cure?
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122: Why Is it so Hard to say NO? What’s the Cure?

How to say NO!

Do you have trouble saying “no”? Lots of people do—and it can sometimes get you into trouble.

In spite of many best-selling books on assertiveness, like Manuel J. Smith’s classic book, “When I Say No I Feel Guilty,” many people still have trouble saying no. For example, you may have led someone on in a romantic relationship because you were afraid of saying no and breaking the other person’s heart. Or, you feel burned out, because you’re always giving, giving, giving because you can’t—or won’t—say no. Or, you may end up hopelessly over committed at work, putting in long hours and feeling secretly used and resentful, because you don’t know how to say no.

Sound familiar?

In this Podcast, Fabrice and David interview Dr. Jill Levitt, the Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, California. Jill confesses that she sometimes has trouble saying no—to new referrals when her practice is full, to her family, who she loves tremendously, as well as colleagues who request this or that. David admits he sometimes has similar problems.

There are lots of reasons why you may have trouble saying no. Some are negative, but some are actually positive, including:

  1. Conflict phobia. You are afraid that if you say no, the other person will get angry and annoyed with you.
  2. Fear of disapproval or rejection. You are afraid that if you say no, the other person will judge you, disapprove of you, or reject you.
  3. Perceived narcissism. You believe that other people will lash out if you don’t give in to their demands.
  4. Submissiveness. You believe that your role in relationships is to make others happy, even at the expense of your own needs and feelings.
  5. Joy / Love. Jill confesses that she often says yes to this or that request because she feels it will be fun, or because she doesn’t want to let the other person down. One example would be baking brownies for her sons when she’s exhausted. One consequences would be giving in, but resenting the person she’s saying yes to.
  6. Guilt. You may feel that if you say no, it means that you are somehow “bad,” and that it’s your duty to please other people.
  7. Achievement addiction. You say yes to almost everything because you think this or that activity will make you more productive and successful.

Fabrice, Jill and David discuss many strategies for overcoming this problem, including:

  1. Empathy–as a therapist, you always want to start with empathy, without trying to “help.”
  2. Motivational strategies such as the Paradoxical Cost-Benefit Analysis, Positive Reframing, or even the Straightforward Cost-Benefit Analysis. This is crucial to find out if patients really want to change before using methods to help them become more assertive.
  3. Punting. This is a delay strategy that David uses to get himself off the hook when feeling ambivalent about a request. For example, you can say, “I’m really pleased and honored that you’ve invited me to do X. I’m going to check with my schedule and see what might be possible, and I’ll get back to you.” Then, he has a day or two to work up the courage to say “no” in a kindly way.
  4. Write down your Negative Thoughts. when you’re feeling compelled to say yes because you’re feeling anxious or guilty, Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself?” Those thoughts will nearly always be distorted. Then ask yourself how you could challenge and talk back to those thoughts.
  5. Fabrice, Jill and David also discuss how to say no effectively and demonstrate this skill in a role-play with Jill that is surprisingly challenging!

They also demonstrate the Feared Fantasy, a powerful technique to help patients say no, using Jill’s example. Her worst fear is that if she says no to colleagues, they will:

  1. Feel disappointed.
  2. Become angry and demanding.
  3. Will say they won’t work with her in the future if she says no.
  4. Will say they’ll get someone else to do whatever it is, and that Jill will miss out on all the fun.

David and Fabrice play the role of colleagues from hell who put demands on Jill to do another podcast and then get upset when she tries to say no. The dialogue is quite entertaining and dynamic, and Jill finds it helpful, though anxiety-provoking.

They also describe the importance of giving patients homework to actually say no between sessions to requests that are excessive or inappropriate.

 

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world (but not across U.S. state lines) via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

 

121: Ask David: Do You Believe in Freud’s Notion of Secondary Gain? Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Real?
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121: Ask David: Do You Believe in Freud’s Notion of Secondary Gain? Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Real?

Answers to Great Questions from Listeners Like YOU!

  1. Dylan asks: Do you believe in Freud’s “secondary gain,” in which patients resist change because they benefit from their symptoms?
  2. Juleann asks: Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) a real thing?
  3. Ismail asks: Should I use the Daily Mood Log just when I’m upset, or at the end of the day, or when? Do I have to stop what I’m doing when I get negative thoughts so I can write them down and work on them?
  4. Abe asks: What about negative thoughts that are valid? For example, I was interested in astronomy and physics as a teenager, but my SAT scores showed I had no aptitude for a career in these areas.
  5. Kevin asks: Can positive flooding be used to change the object of our desires—for example, our sexual desires, like the man in one of your books who had lost sexual interest in his wife?
  6. Valentina asks: Where do cognitive distortions come from? Our parents? Our genes? Societal messages?

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world via teletherapy (but not across U.S. state lines). You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

120: Ten Worst Errors Therapists Make
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120: Ten Worst Errors Therapists Make

This is David and Fabrice’s top ten list for the worst errors therapists make.

1. Failure to Measure (symptoms, empathy and helpfulness). Research shows that therapists’ perceptions of how their patients feel, or feel about them, are not accurate.

TEAM therapists measure symptom severity at the start and end of every therapy session with brief accurate scales that assess depression, suicidal urges, anxiety, anger, relationship satisfaction, and happiness. This allows therapists to see, for the first time, exactly how effective or ineffective they are in every single therapy session. This can be threatening to the therapist’s ego, but has revolutionized clinical practice.

In addition, TEAM therapists assess the patient’s perception of therapist warmth, empathy, understanding, and helpfulness after every single session. The scales are extremely sensitive to therapist errors, and most therapists receive mostly failing grades from their patients initially when they use these scales, which can be a shock to the system! But dialoguing with the patient about the scores at the next therapy session can lead to breakthroughs in the clinical work and dramatic improvements in the quality of the therapeutic alliance.

2. Trying to help, “save,” “rescue” or “reassure” patients. Most therapists are addicted to this, but it simply triggers resistance. When therapists push in their efforts to help, most patients will push back. No one likes to be “sold” on anything. When patients are hurting, they want to be heard, not saved.

In TEAM we do Paradoxical Agenda Setting before trying to “help.” We emphasize, in a respectful way, all the really GOOD reasons NOT to change. We also highlight what the patient’s symptoms, such as shame, depression, panic, defectiveness, hopelessness and anger, show about him or her that’s positive and awesome, Then we raise the question: “Given all those positives, why in the world would you want to change?”

This strategy has led to breakthroughs in treatment, and I now see recovery from depression and anxiety at rates I would have impossible ten or fifteen years ago.

3. Reverse Hypnosis.

  1. Depressive hypnosis. The patient persuades the therapist that s/he really is worthless, inferior, and hopeless, and the therapist false into a trance and believes it! This dooms the therapy.
  2. Anxiety hypnosis. The patient persuades the therapist that s/he is to fragile to use exposure, or that the exposure is too dangerous, and the therapist buys right into it! This also dooms the therapy. Recovery from anxiety is more or less impossible without exposure.
  3. Relationship hypnosis. The patient persuades the therapist that s/he is the victim of some other person’s bad behavior, and that the other person is entirely to blame for the relationship conflict. Therapists almost always buy this message, and this also dooms the therapy.

4, Believing therapy must be slow and last a long time. This is taught in most graduate school programs, and tends to function as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I met a famous psychoanalyst who was proud that most of her patients had been in therapy for more than ten years, and a few were just now making baby steps, she said, toward change.

With TEAM, I usually see a complete elimination of symptoms at the first therapy session, although it has to be a double session (two hours). In addition, the recover usually occurs in a burst, all at once, in just a few seconds, or in several sudden orbital leaps during the session.

5. Believing that the purpose of therapy is to get in touch with your feelings (Emotional Reasoning). This message has been pushed for years, and was the basis of my training. The idea was that people bottle up their feelings, like anger, and then it comes out as depression. The message is still pushed today!

I’ve never seen much validity in this point of view. People can express their anger, their panic, and their feelings of worthlessness until the cows come home, but they’ll still be just as angry, panicky, and they’ll still feel worthless!

There is at least one notable exception to this rule. Most anxious patients are exceptionally “nice” and sweep their feelings under the table. Then the feelings come out indirectly, as OCD, panic attacks, GAD, or a phobia, or even as somatic complaints such as chronic pain, fatigue, or dizziness. Bringing the suppressed feelings to conscious awareness and expressing them is the basis of my Hidden Emotion Technique, and it often leads to a sudden and complete recovery from any form of anxiety.

6. Confusing your own feelings for how the patient feels. This is a psychoanalytic error. I read an article on the psychoanalytic view of empathy, which was defined as the analyst’s feelings when in the presence of the patient. This is a misguided and almost delusional notion. The analyst’s feelings are the complete creation of the analyst’s thoughts! And those thoughts will often be distorted and completely misleading.

Therapist’s perceptions of how their patients feel are less than 10% accurate if you put it to an empirical test! If you ask patients, “How are you feeling right now,” and you ask therapists the exact same question, “How is your patient feeling right now,” the therapist’s answer will usually be way off base.

The only way to find out is to use assessment instruments at the start and end of each session, like I described in the first answer above, on failure to measure.

7. Believing therapists should never express their feelings. I was trained never to reveal how I was feeling. But when you think about, that’s nutty! How can we validly encourage our patients to be more genuine and open with their feelings if we are hiding our own at the same time? Of course, there is an art form in how to share your feelings during therapy. It is a high skill, requiring training, and one that can lead to more human and effective treatment.

8. Believing that you are an expert and know the causes of things, and why patients think, feel, or behave as they do. The causes of all psychiatric disorders are unknown. End of discussion. And yet, almost all therapists promote some fraudulent theory about causality. For example, what is the cause of depression?

There are lots of theories, but none has been confirmed, and almost all have been disproven. For example, there is no evidence whatsoever that depression results from a “chemical imbalance in the brain,” or from “anger turned inward,” and so forth. Those are just theories that someone made up.

I simply tell my patients that we don’t yet know the causes, but have really terrific treatment tools now for rapid recovery. That’s more than enough for the people I treat!

9. Confusing the process of therapy with a good outcome. For example, as a therapist, you could be doing really great job of listening, and give yourself high marks as a therapist because you believe in the importance of empathy, even though your patient is not improving.

Therapists have all kinds of things they’ve been trained to do, like hypnosis, or EMDR, or cognitive therapy, exposure therapy, or meditation, or an exploration of childhood traumas, or whatever it is you do and believe in. But if you’re not seeing rapid and dramatic recovery in your depressed and anxious patients, as documented with session by session testing, you’re not really “helping.”

10. Believing that insight will lead to change. This has only happened once in my career! It was a woman who discovered that she thought she always had to be submissive servant in intimate relationships. Not surprisingly, she always felt burned out and broke up with her partners after a while. She said that the discovery of this pattern when we did the Interpersonal Downward Arrow Technique during our first and only session transformed her life.

But usually, much more will be required. That’s why I have developed 50 methods to help patients change the way they think, feel, and behave. Correction—I have recently developed 51 additional powerful techniques, so now we have 101 ways to untwist your thinking so you can enjoy greater happiness, intimacy, and productivity!

Now, here’s the 60 thousand dollar question. Can therapists learn to stop making these errors? In most cases, the answer is NO! It’s not so much a problem with intelligence or aptitude, although those are important factors, but it has to do with motivation. Many therapists simply do not want to change, and are committed to what they’re already doing, in much the same way that people are committed to their religious beliefs, which they are unwilling to challenge.

That’s why it is so much easier to train young therapists, whose minds are still open, as well as lay people who do not have so much prior “training” they have to overcome.

Well, that’s my cynical side coming out, and I apologize! Still, I think I’m right for the most part.

Hey, if you liked my rant, I have at least five more common therapeutic errors on my list, so let Fabrice and me know if you’d like to hear about therapist errors in a future podcast. In addition, if you’d like to add to our list of therapist errors, let us know what your “favorite” (or most annoying) therapist error is!

Thanks!

david

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and also works with individuals throughout the world via teletherapy (although not across U.S. state lines). You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

119: Can you Change Self-Defeating Beliefs?
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119: Can you Change Self-Defeating Beliefs?

In today’s show, Fabrice and David focus on this question: How can you get rid of Self-Defeating Beliefs?

Although any of the 100 + TEAM-CBT methods can be used to modify an SDB, four methods will be highlighted in today’s show.

  • Cost-Benefit Analysis
  • Semantic Method
  • Experimental Technique
  • Feared Fantasy

For more information on how to change SDBs, you might want to watch the extremely popular David and Jill  FB Live show on Overcoming Perfectionism (recorded on November 11, 2018).

What research has been done on SDBs?

This topic was not discussed in the show, but individuals with an interest in research might want to read David’s study with Dr. Jackie Persons on the causal connections between depression and SDBs about dependency (attachment) as well as achievement (perfectionism) in several hundred patients in Philadelphia during the first 12 weeks of their treatment at David’s clinic.

The study confirmed That both types of SBS were significantly correlated with depression severity at intake and at the 12-week evaluation. In addition, changes in depression were correlated with changes in SDBs. However, a sophisticated statistical analysis with structural equation modeling techniques did not confirm that SDBs had causal effects on depression, or that depression had causal effects on SDBs. Instead, SDBs and feelings of depression appeared to share an unknown common cause.

  • Persons, J. B., Burns, D. D., Perloff, J. M., & Miranda, J. (1993). Relationships between symptoms of depression and anxiety and dysfunctional beliefs about achievement and attachment. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 101(4): 518 – 524.

 

 

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and also works with individuals throughout the world via teletherapy (although not across U.S. state lines). You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

 

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118: The Beliefs that Defeat You, Part 1
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118: The Beliefs that Defeat You, Part 1

The shows today and next Monday will focus on Self-Defeating Beliefs. These shows were triggered by two excellent questions from listeners.

Rajesh asked:

  • Is it possible to change an SDB?
  • Does the mere knowledge of an SDB change it?
  • How long does it take to change an SDB?
  • How do you change SDBs?

Nikola asked:

  • Aaron Beck said the SDBs never really go away. They just get activated and deactivated and activated again. Does this mean that depression is an incurable disease that will keep coming back over and over again?
  • What’s the point in battling against a core belief if it cannot be changed?

Fabrice and I appreciate your questions–they often give us ideas for shows! In today’s Podcast you’ll learn the answers to several questions about Self-Defeating Beliefs.

What’s the difference between Self-Defeating Beliefs (SDBs) vs. Cognitive Distortions?

The thoughts that contain cognitive distortions, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Discounting the Positive, and Self-Blame are distortions of reality, they are the cons that trigger depression and anxiety. When you’re upset, these thoughts will flood your mind. These thoughts can be show to be false, and when you crush a distorted negative thought, you’ll immediately feel better.

Self-Defeating Beliefs are stipulations, values that you’ve set up for your self. For example, you may base your self-esteem on your accomplishments due to your belief that people who accomplish more are more worthwhile as human beings. SDBs like this cannot actually be shown to be false–they are simply your personal, subjective values, and they are thought to be with you all the time, and not just when you’re depressed, anxious, or angry.

The question with an SDB is this: What are the advantages and disadvantages of having this value system? How will it help me–what are the benefits–and how might it hurt me? What’s the downside?

Why are Self-Defeating Beliefs thought to be important?

When you challenge and defeat a distorted thought, you feel better in the here-and-now. When you challenge and change an SDB, you change your value system at a deep level. This is thought to make you less vulnerable to painful mood swings and relationship conflicts in the future.

What are the different kinds of SDBs?

  • David’s list of 23 Common SDBs is attached. This list is not comprehensive, as there are many more, but the ones on the list are very common. There are several categories of SDBs.
  • Individual SDBs are often “Self-Esteem Equations”
    • Perfectionism
    • Perceived Perfectionism
    • Achievement Addiction
    • Approval Addiction
    • Love Addiction
  • Interpersonal SDBs are expectations of what will happen in certain kinds of relationships, or relationships in general
    • What’s your understanding of the other person’s role in your relationship? What adjectives describe him or her?
    • What’s your understanding of your person’s role in the relationship? What adjectives describe you?
    • How would that kind of relationship feel?
    • What rules connect the two roles?
  • Other kinds of SDBs
    • Anger / conflict cluster
      • Entitlement
      • Truth
      • Blame
    • Anxiety cluster
      • Niceness
      • Conflict Phobia
      • Anger Phobia
      • Emotophobia
      • Submissiveness
      • Spotlight Fallacy
      • Brushfire Fallacy

How can you identify your own, or a patient’s, Self-Defeating Beliefs?

  • Look at the list of 23 individual SDBs (easiest). You might want to do that right now. Review the list, and you’ll probably find many of your own beliefs!
  • Individual Downward Arrow
  • Interpersonal Downward Arrow

Next week, Fabrice and David will show you how to modify an SDB.

 

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Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and also works with individuals throughout the world via teletherapy (although not across U.S. state lines). You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

 

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117: On the Path to Greater Intimacy— David’s Final Sparkling Interview with Stephanie James
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117: On the Path to Greater Intimacy— David’s Final Sparkling Interview with Stephanie James

David with Stephanie James, Part 3, Intimate Relationships

Hi everybody!

I recently did two terrific interviews (Podcasts #92 and #111) with Stephanie James on her superb radio show and podcast, The Spark. Today, Fabrice and I are bringing you my third and final interview with Stephanie, as we describe how to convert conflicted relationships into loving, rewarding ones.

Stephanie said it was her favorite interview, although all three were really fun for me. Today you will once again hear how dynamic, warm and positive she is!

My first interview with Stephanie was on the amazing inner power we all have to change our thoughts, feelings, actions, and lives. We talked about how to transform your automatic negative thoughts and create a more joyful present and a more fulfilling future.

My second interview with Stephanie was on the evolution of traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) into the new TEAM-CBT. We highlighted the amazing new motivation-busting techniques that can lead to extraordinarily rapid recovery.

Stephanie also recently interviewed our beloved colleague, Dr. Matthew May, a psychiatrist who is a phenomenal TEAM therapist. Click here if you’d like to take a look and listen. Matt has worked with Fabrice and me on our podcasts–you may remember the amazing and inspiring podcasts featuring live therapy with Marilyn.

Stephanie is a outstanding therapist and radio personality from Colorado. It was an honor to be on her show on three occasions. Stephanie is co-authoring a book on how to live a “spark-filled life.” It should be completed soon, so you’ll likely be hearing much more from Stephanie during 2019!

David

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and works with individuals throughout the world via teletherapy (although not across U.S. state lines). You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

Upcoming Workshop Schedule

The following schedule will evolve as I add new workshops or update details. Check back here at times to stay informed.

December, 2018

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

I will be giving a Keynote Address on

Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30 – 3:30 PM

plus a two-hour workshop on Friday, December 7, 2018 from 10:45 AM – 12:45, with Dr. Jill Levitt on

Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

plus two other presentations at this fantastic event.

I’ll also be doing a “Great Conversations” dialogue with Dr. Jeffrey Zeig on the treatment of addictions and the incredibly important concept of non-linear recovery.

 

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at David@feelinggood.com.

* * *

Three Cool Upcoming Workshops for YOU!

Coming Really Soon!

Act fast if you want to attend.

1.   TEAM-CBT Methods for the Treatment of Relationship Difficulties

Step by Step Training for Therapists

by David Burns, MD and Jill Levitt, PhD

Sunday October 28th, 2018 (8:30 am-4:30 pm PST)

Live in Palo Alto plus online streaming

Learn how to reduce patient resistance and boost motivation to change. Master skills that will enhance communication skills and increase intimacy with loved ones. This workshop will be highly interactive with many case examples and opportunities for practice using role plays.

Learn how to reduce patient resistance and boost motivation to change. Master skills that will enhance communication skills and increase intimacy with loved ones. This workshop will be highly interactive with many case examples and opportunities for practice using role plays.

Join us for a day of fun and inspiring learning from anywhere in the world.

The in person version is now sold out,  but limited spaces are still available if you would like to join online. There will be experts to assist the online participants with small group exercises in break out rooms, so you will have the same experience as those who attend in person. But act fast it you want to be included!

SOLD OUT in person, but limited spaces are
still available ONLINE

Learn from David and Jill–a dynamic teaching duo!

7 CE*s. $135

To register, go to the Feeling Good Institute

* * *

2. Rapid Recovery from Trauma

a two-day workshop

by David D. Burns, MD

November 1-2, 2018–Woodland Hills, CA

You can attend in person or from home via Live Streaming

Includes a dramatic live demonstration on the evening of day 1

For further information, go to www.IAHB.org
or call 1-800-258-8411

Register Now!

* * *

3. TREAT ANXIETY FAST–

Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Techniques 
to Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018: San Francisco, CA
(in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, 2018: Portland, Oregon
(in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed teachers!

Sponsored by PESI

To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

 

Blow Out Sale! When Panic Attacks!
by

Blow Out Sale! When Panic Attacks!

The 1 Dollar 99 Cents Anxiety Cure!

when panic attacks ebook promo2 (002)

Hi therapists and patients alike,

In a totally unexpected and awesome development, my publisher has decided to make the eBook of When Panic Attacks available for a limited time for the ridiculously cheap price of $1.99 in the United States and Canada. I was thrilled to hear this, and applaud them for this bold move. When Panic Attacks has been invaluable for therapists and life-changing for thousands of people suffering from every form of anxiety (not just panic attacks).

I don’t know how long this sale will last, so move fast. Get your copy right away–from any book seller you want! It’s already available for this price on Amazon.com and should be available from all booksellers within a few days.

And please note my upcoming PESI workshop on the treatment of anxiety coming up later this week in San Francisco and in just a few days in Portland. Attend in person or join us live online for the Portland workshop which will be live-streamed so you can join from anywhere in the world.

In addition, note my three presentations at the Milton Erikson Brief Therapy Conference in Burlingame, California December 6 – 9, 2018. It promises to be a tremendous event, with chances to hear tons of top presenters.

David

* * *

Some Cool Upcoming Workshops for YOU!

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–

Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Techniques 
to Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018–San Francisco, CA (in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, Portland, Oregon (in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed teachers!

Sponsored by PESI

To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

1, Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

on Friday, December 7, 2018, from  10:45  – 12:45 PM

Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt will do a live therapy session
with a workshop volunteer.

2. “Great Conversations”

on Saturday, December 8, 2018, from  2:00  – 3:00 PM

Drs. Jeffrey Zeig and David Burns will discuss
treatment strategies for habits and addictions

3. Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

Keynote Address by Dr. Burns on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30  – 3:30 PM

Dr. Burns will describe new techniques to reduce therapeutic resistance and trigger rapid recovery from depression, anxiety, and trauma

* * *

Blow Out Sale! When Panic Attacks!
by

Blow Out Sale! When Panic Attacks!

The 1 Dollar 99 Cents Anxiety Cure!

 

When Panic Attacks ebook promo

Hi therapists and patients alike,

In a totally unexpected and awesome development, my publisher has decided to make the eBook of When Panic Attacks available for a limited time for the ridiculously cheap price of $1.99. I was thrilled to hear this, and applaud them for this bold move. When Panic Attacks has been invaluable for therapists and life-changing for thousands of people suffering from every form of anxiety (not just panic attacks).

I don’t know how long this sale will last, so move fast. Get your copy right away–from any book seller you want! It’s already available for this price on Amazon.com and should be available from all booksellers within a few days.

And please note my upcoming PESI workshop on the treatment of anxiety coming up later this week in San Francisco and in just a few days in Portland. Attend in person or join us live online for the Portland workshop which will be live-streamed so you can join from anywhere in the world.

In addition, note my three presentations at the Milton Erikson Brief Therapy Conference in Burlingame, California December 6 – 9, 2018. It promises to be a tremendous event, with chances to hear tons of top presenters.

David

* * *

A Cool Upcoming Workshop for YOU!

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–

Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Techniques 
to Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018–San Francisco, CA (in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, Portland, Oregon (in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed teachers!

Sponsored by PESI

To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

1, Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

on Friday, December 7, 2018, from  10:45  – 12:45 PM

Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt will do a live therapy session
with a workshop volunteer.

2. “Great Conversations”

on Saturday, December 8, 2018, from  2:00  – 3:00 PM

Drs. Jeffrey Zeig and David Burns will discuss
treatment strategies for habits and addictions

3. Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

Keynote Address by Dr. Burns on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30  – 3:30 PM

Dr. Burns will describe new techniques to reduce therapeutic resistance and trigger rapid recovery from depression, anxiety, and trauma

* * *

116: Spirituality and Psychotherapy: Contradictory or Complementary?
by

116: Spirituality and Psychotherapy: Contradictory or Complementary?

Fabrice and David interview Mike Christensen, a prominent Canadian TEAM-CBT therapist and trainer, on the overlap, or conflict, between psychotherapy and religious beliefs.

Hi everybody!

Many listeners have sent us emails with questions about the connections between TEAM-CBT and their religious beliefs. Is there an inherent conflict? Or a synergistic compatibility?

I couldn’t think of a more eminently qualified colleague to help address those questions than my dear friend and esteemed colleague, Mike Christensen. Mike is a prominent Canadian TEAM-CBT therapist and trainer. Mike served as a Christian minister before his discovery of TEAM-CBT, which affected him in a profound way, on a personal, spiritual and professional level as well.

This dynamic interview covers the integration of TEAM-CBT with Christianity as well as Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, the Muslim faith, and more. Mike, Fabrice and I describe many areas of overlap, as well as some potential conflicts, between the teachings and methods of TEAM-CBT and religious beliefs. Mike and I suggest that religion and TEAM-CBT are, in fact, attempting to do the exact same things using slightly different language and symbolism. We strongly agree that at the moment of recovery, a person’s religious beliefs are nearly always strengthened and deepened, and never challenged or belittled.

Mike, Fabrice and I also discuss topics like religious scrupulosity, religious obsessions, cognitive distortions (John 8:32: “The truth will set you free”), and the so-called “dark night of the soul” described by Christian and Buddhist mystics. We also talk about the spiritual and psychological aspects of enlightenment (e.g. salvation), Should Statements, the Disarming Technique, forgiveness, repentance, the death of the ego, pride vs. humility, and more.

If you have an interest in religious or philosophical topics, you will love this podcast! You might also enjoy the podcasts with Marilyn on what to do when you’ve lost your belief in God and find yourself in darkness and intense suffering!

Mike Christensen treats individuals throughout Canada via teletherapy and also offers online training for mental health professionals throughout the world. If you have a question for Mike, or wish to contact him, you can find him at www.FeelingGoodInstitute.com. Here’s his link for treatment, and here’s his link for online training.

Additional Resources

CBT and Christianity: Strategies and Resources for Reconciling Faith in Therapy.
by Michael L. Free

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and treats individuals throughout the world via teletherapy. You can reach him at fabrice@life.net.

You can reach Dr. Burns at David@feelinggood.com.

David

Subscribe

Dr. Fabrice Nye currently practices in Redwood City, California and works with individuals throughout the world via teletherapy (although not across U.S. state lines). You can reach him at fabrice@life.net. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

Upcoming Workshop Schedule

The following schedule will evolve as I add new workshops or update details. Check back here at times to stay informed.

TREAT ANXIETY FAST–

Powerful, Fast-Acting, Drug-Free Techniques 
to Defeat Anxiety & Worry

a 2-day workshop by David D. Burns, MD

November 29 and 30, 2018: San Francisco, CA
(in person only)

and

December 3 and 4, 2018: Portland, Oregon
(in person and live streaming)

PESI is proud to offer an exciting workshop by David Burns, M.D., a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Achieve rapid and lasting recovery with all your anxious clients, just as Dr. Burns has done in over 35,000 therapy sessions with severely troubled clients. Become skilled at treating every type of anxiety without drugs.

In this unique 2-day certificate course you’ll master more than 20 treatment techniques to help your clients eliminate the symptoms of anxiety quickly – even your most challenging, resistant clients.

Dr. Burns will illustrate concrete strategies that provide rapid, complete recovery and lasting change for your patients. You’ll learn…

  • How to integrate four powerful treatment models to eliminate symptoms.
  • How to enhance your client’s engagement in therapy.
  • How to develop a treatment plan that specifically targets each client’s unique problems and needs.
  • …and so much more!

David will provide you with guided instruction and share powerful video sessions that capture the actual moment of recovery. You will take away practical strategies to use immediately with any anxious client. Leave this certificate course armed with tools you can use in your very next session!

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of America’s most highly acclaimed teachers!

Sponsored by PESI

To register, or for more information, call: 800-844-8260

* * *

Brief Therapy Conference, December 6 – 9, Burlingame, California

Sponsored by the Milton Erikson Foundation

I will be giving a Keynote Address on

Overcoming Therapeutic Resistance

on Sunday, December 9, 2018, from  2:30 – 3:30 PM

plus a two-hour workshop on Friday, December 7, 2018 from 10:45 AM – 12:45, with Dr. Jill Levitt on

Healing Yourself: A Live Demonstration of TEAM-CBT

plus two other presentations at this fantastic event.

I’ll also be doing a “Great Conversations” dialogue with Dr. Jeffrey Zeig on the treatment of addictions and the incredibly important concept of non-linear recovery.