Ask David featuring four terrific Should questions, and more questions about “asinine, stupid, narcissistic, self-serving humans! “
- Oliver asks: Can a thought be thought as moral or immoral?
- Vincent asks: I have suffered from depression for about 3 years and say to myself, “I should have gotten better sooner.” Isn’t this “should” appropriate?
- Charles says: Your concept of “no self” shot my anxiety way up and made me feel hopeless. . . . It makes me feel worse than before!
- Michelle asks: How is your requirement that new patients must agree to not make any suicide attempts for the rest of their lives any different to a “suicide contract” which you mention are not effective?
- Brian asks: I’ve done a few things that made me feel intensely guilty. . . . The knowledge that I didn’t do what I should have done led to a lot of guilt and shame, and eventually depression. Just wondering your thoughts on this
- Carrel asks: I’m a Democrat in Texas. How can we use disarming to heal the political rifts in our country?
- Natasha asks: How do I stop the dark thoughts of wishing harm to come to stupid humans who do asinine, narcissistic, self serving, irresponsible things—like driving massive, loud pickup trucks around the neighborhood, honking incessantly as they wave their 20 ft political flags; or bringing the family for a paddle boat ride in the local pond, taking delight in teaching their human offspring to paddle the boat as quickly as they can to chase after the beautiful, innocent geese and ducks trying earnestly and fearfully to swim to safety. and more.
Dear Dr. Burns,
Can a thought be thought as moral or immoral?
In many podcasts and articles, you use “Thou Shalt Not Kill” to demonstrate morally should statement, which is one of the 3 valid should statements in English. I’m still somewhat confused about this concept. To tell you where I get stuck, I come up with three thought experiments.
Imagine the following situations in which a should statement may come to mind:
Lisa stole some money from a grocery store. When arrested by police, Lisa said with tears, “I shouldn’t have stolen money. I feel ashamed for what I have done.”
In this case, it is obvious that “I shouldn’t have stolen money” is a morally should statement, and also a legally should statement, because Lisa did something that violates the law and her moral principle.
DAVID’S COMMENT: YES, YOU ARE CORRECT. LISA’S STATEMENT CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS A LEGAL SHOULD AND A MORAL SHOULD.
One day, Bob went to Walmart to buy a suit. When he was passing by a shelf, a thought appeared in her mind. “What would happen if I steal this suit? I really want it, but I have very little money.” When he came back home, he talked to himself,” I shouldn’t have felt the urges to steal things. And I shouldn’t have thought about stealing the suit.”
DAVID’S COMMENT: THESE WOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED VALID SHOULD STATEMENTS BY MOST PEOPLE, SINCE WE HAVE FREEDOM OF THOUGHT. HUMAN BEINGS HAVE ALL KINDS OF FANTASIES AND URGES ALL THE TIME—AT LEAST I KNOW THAT I DO! AN URGE ONLY BECOMES IMMORAL OR ILLEGAL WHEN YOU ACT ON IT.
HOWEVER, ALTHOUGH I DO NOT THINK THESE ARE VALID SHOULDS, BUT I TRY NOT TO IMPOSE MY VALUES ON OTHERS FOR THE MOST PART. I AM A SHRINK, SO I WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ASKING FOR HELP.
FOR EXAMPLE, PEOPLE WITH OCD OFTEN PUNISH THEMSELVES JUST FOR HAVING “FORBIDDEN” THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, OR URGES. THE FIGHT TO CONTROL THEM IS THE ACTUAL CAUSE OF THE OCD. THE SHOULDS TYPICALLY MAKE THE PROBLEM WORSE, NOT BETTER. SELF-ACCEPTANCE CAN BE ONE OF MANY HELPFUL TREATMENT STRATEGIES.
RELIGION CAN SOMETIMES BE A SOURCE OF OPPRESSIVE SHOULDS, ESPECIALLLY THE MORE FUNDAMENTALIST TYPES OF RELIGION. RIGIDITY MAY BE A PARTIALLY INHERITED TRAIT. FOR EXAMPLE, MANY RELIGIONS AROUND THE WORLD PROMOTE THE IDEA THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS “WRONG” AND THAT PEOPLE “SHOULDN’T” HAVE URGES AND ATTRACTIONS TOWARD PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER. THIS IS AN AREA WHERE “SHOULD STATEMENTS” BECOME HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL, AND ARE OFTEN A SOURCE OF HORRIFIC HATRED AND VIOLENCE, SOMETIMES IN THE NAME OF SOME “HIGHER POWER.”
Lucy was buying fruits in a grocery store when she found that a man was taking an apple off the shelf and hiding it in his clothe! Obviously, the man was stealing an apple. Lucy was very angry and said, “the man shouldn’t steal things from the store. It’s not right!”
In this case, Lucy didn’t steal apples, the man did. But Lucy made a moral judgement about the man’s behavior, not Lucy’s behavior. Then is this should statement valid for Lucy?
DAVID’S THINKING. TO MY WAY OF THINKING, YES THESE ARE VALID LEGAL SHOULDS AND MORAL SHOULDS, SINCE OUR CIVILIZATION (AND ALL CIVILIZATIONS) HAVE DECIDED THAT STEALING IS ILLEGAL, AND IS ALSO CONSIDERED MORALLY WRONG IN MOST RELIGIONS: “THOU SHALT NOT STEAL” IS, I THINK, ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
THE GOAL IS NOT TO CLEAN UP YOUR SPEECH SO THAT YOU NEVER USE SHOULD STATEMENTS THAT DO NOT FIT INTO ONE OF THE THREE VALID CATEGORIES OF LEGAL SHOULDS, MORAL SHOULD, AND LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE SHOULDS. AT LEAST I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THAT. MY GOAL IS TO HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE OF SHOULD STATEMENTS.
What is it with “shoulds” related to recovery from depression? I suffer from depression for about 3 years and say to myself “I should have gotten better sooner.” Isn’t this “should” appropriate? Because who really wants to suffer through this agony?
Greetings from Geneva.
“I wish I had gotten better sooner.” This is a correct statement without the “should.” This simple shift in language is called the Semantic Technique, and it was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis who kind of gave birth to cognitive therapy in the 1950s, along with Dr. Karen Horney about the same time. Instead of using a should, you use “it would be preferable if” or “I wish X was true.”
In addition, it isn’t actually true that you “should” have gotten better sooner! The universe does not always conform to our expectations. Just because we want something, it doesn’t follow that it “should” happen. I’d love to have a new Tesla sports car, at least in fantasy, but it isn’t true that I “should” have one. It would be “great” if you had gotten better sooner, that’s absolutely true.
“I should have gotten better sooner.” That’s totally false.
In addition, although one might think that no one would “want” depression, my research and new clinical work indicate that resistance is nearly always the key to recovery. In other words, people do cling to depression, anxiety, troubled relationships, and habits and addictions, but don’t realize why they are resisting change. Once you suddenly see why you are resisting, your resistance paradoxically disappears, and recovery is then just a stone’s throw away.
You can learn more about this in my new book, Feeling Great, available now on Amazon. Thanks! PS let me know if you like the new book, and if you find it helpful!
All the best,
A new comment on the post “108: Do You Have a “Self?”” is waiting for your approval
First off I want to say thank you. Your work has been helping me through my anxiety. However, I really struggled with this podcast. The concept of no self shot my anxiety way up and made me feel hopeless. It made me feel almost as if I was not real or that there is nothing worth striving for. I love helping people. But I feel like I don’t have a purpose if I don’t have a self. It makes me feel worse than before.
The “great death” of the self is a challenging concept, and while it is incredibly liberating, lots of people—most, in fact—don’t “get it.” Some get angry. Some struggle with trying to understand what this could possibly mean. And some find the concept very threatening. That’s why I deleted the chapter from my book. In fact, a couple extremely brilliant and interested colleagues totally couldn’t grasp it, and felt frustrated by my writing on the concept.
sometimes, ideas are so simple and basic that people cannot grasp them. The Buddha ran into this problem 2500 years ago. People thought he was fantastic, but almost none of his followers experienced the enlightenment he was so excited to teach them.
The 20th century philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, ran into the same problem. He solve all the problems of philosophy, but when he was alive, it was rumored that only seven people in the world, including one of his favorite students, Norman Malcolm, could grasp what he was saying. He went in and out of intense depression and loneliness during his life, in part because of his frustration with trying to teach the obvious.
In my book, Feeling Great, I teach that there are actually four “Great Deaths” for the patient, corresponding to recovery from depression, anxiety disorders, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions. There are also four “Great Deaths” for TEAM therapists. Those sections might be helpful for you!
In addition, I focus on the fact that people can never judge your “self,” only something specific that you think or do. Depression cannot exist on the specific level, only up in the clouds of abstraction. For example, Overgeneralization is one of the ten cognitive distortions I described in my first book, Feeling Good. When you Overgeneralize, you see a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat, and you might also Overgeneralize from some specific flaw or defect to your “self.”
You will read about an attractive and vivacious young professional woman who had the thought, “I’m unloveable,” when her boyfriend of two years broke up with her. This is classic depression thinking, and “self” thinking. She thinks she has a “self” that can be loveable or unloveable. But this is simply not true, and it’s not productive, because she’ll spend all her time ruminating and feeling worthless.
An alternative is to focus on why the (overall excellent) relationship didn’t work out, and what she can do to change and learn and grow, so as to make the next relationship even better. You can pick up on the details in the chapter on Overgeneralization if you’re interested!
As I point out in Feeling Great, the “death of the self” is not like a funeral, it’ like an incredible celebration of life. Death of your old concept of what you are is liberating, and leads to instant rebirth.
My teachings cannot make you happy or unhappy. Your thoughts about what I’m saying create all of your feelings, positive or negative.
At any rate, thank you for a most important question that most of my audience will definitely related to.
As an aside, I lost my “self” years ago, and what a relief that was. Sadly, it comes back to life from time to time, and then I struggle again, until I realize what’s happening.
One day, what I’m saying may make sense! In the meantime, please accept my apologies concerning the “self!”
If it gives you comfort to believe you have a “self,” no problem. But the “self” is just a concept, and not a “thing” that could exist or not exist. When you lose your precious and protected “self,” you lose nothing, because there was never anything there in the first place! But while you lose nothing, you do inherit the earth, as nearly all great religious leaders—Buddha, Jesus, and others—have taught us.
Hi Dr. Burns,
I’ve just listened to your podcast episode on suicide and found it really interesting and useful but I have a few questions.
Firstly, how is your requirement that the patient agree to not make any suicide attempts for the rest of their life any different to a ‘suicide contract’ which you mention are not effective?
Also, you talk about doing this assessment at the intake and making non-attempts a condition of therapy. If the patient/client agrees to this, why then do you continue to monitor suicidal thoughts in each session in the BMS? Presumably because the agreement is no guarantee of cessation of thoughts. Surely if you’ve told them it’s a condition of therapy with you to not make any attempts then they’d be likely to not tell you about them even if they occurred, and don’t see how setting the initial ground rule resolves the problem.
And lastly, when suicidal thoughts, urges, or fantasies do come again in the BMS how do you handle it then? Do you tell them you’ll end therapy, say “but you promised”?
Looking forward to your reply.
I have scheduled your email for an upcoming ask david episode, and will use your first name unless you prefer that i use some other name. Here is a brief reply. Most patients with borderline personality disorder will become enraged by the gentle ultimatum at the initial evaluation, and if they decide this is not the type of therapy they want, so be it. The techniques I use will not be effective with patients who continue to threaten suicide. TEAM therapy requires TEAM work.
Most, nearly all, patients will “get it” and will decide to continue with the therapy. They can have suicidal thoughts and urges, and we can work on them together in therapy. However, to my way of thinking, it is important that they therapist and patient be protected, in a safe environment.
If the patient starts threatening to make a suicide attempt, then they will need another form of more intensive treatment like hospitalization, day care, or intensive outpatient treatment. These are options I cannot personally provide for them.
I monitor suicidal urges before and after each session with every patient with no exceptions to protect the patient and to protect myself as well. Thanks!
PS the suicide contract is an agreement not to attempt suicide “while we are working together.” This is very weak, as the patient can suddenly decide he or she is dropping out of therapy and making a suicide attempt. And this often happens.
My contract is more demanding, and intentionally so. Patients must also agree to do psychotherapy homework, too. Some patients want to make the therapist a hostage with suicide threats, which can and so work as a form of manipulation and hostility. Then the therapist is in an almost constant state of agitation, anxiety, and frustration. If I allow a patient to make my life miserable, how can I teach that patient how to be happy? We are all ONE—we go up and down together. If I allow you to make my life miserable, then I am allowing you to make your own life miserable, too.
Thank you so much for everything you do. I’ve listened to all of your podcasts, and read most of your books, and am very grateful for the changes you, Rhonda, Fabrice and the rest of the team have made to my life.
I’ve just listened to this episode, and there’s one thing I’m struggling with, which is the concept of the moral should.
I’ve done a few things that made me intensely guilty – one in particular was not standing by and supporting a friend who needed people when he was going through a particularly hard time. He was angry and disappointed with me, and, in hindsight, rightly so. He has since forgiven me but I still struggle with it.
I feel that supporting him was a moral should. The knowledge that I didn’t do what I should have done led to a lot of guilt and shame, and eventually depression. You say that a moral should is valid; so therefore, I feel that my negative thoughts on this are not misguided but valid – I did something morally wrong and deserved to feel bad for it.
Just wondering your thoughts on this.
Thanks again, and keep up the good work!
Hi Brian, thanks!
Would love to include this on an Ask David, using just your first name, or even a fake name if you prefer. A quick response might be to ask how many minutes per day would you like to dedicate to feeling guilty? And for how many days, months, or years?
In your spiritual or religious beliefs, is a person supposed to feel intensely guilty forever? Most of us have done things we are ashamed of, or feel guilty about. How much guilt and shame would you recommend for me, for example? And what is the goal of the guilt and shame? And how guilty would you recommend I feel, between 0% and 100%?
That’s one approach. Another approach would be A = Assessment of Resistance, listing what the guilt shows about you that’s positive and awesome, and then asking yourself why in the world you’d want to let go of the guilt, given all the many real positives.
Then you might validly decide to “dial it down” to some more acceptable level. For example, if you now feel 90% guilty, perhaps 15% or 20% would be enough. In addition, you could also decide how many minutes of guilt you would recommend. If you now feel guilty about eight hours a day, would 10 minutes be enough? If so, you could schedule your “guilt periods” ahead of time, and then really work hard at feeling guilty during those ten minutes.
Then, when you’re done with your “guilt work,” you can return to joyous and loving living!
Also, instead of one ten minute daily guilt binge, you could schedule, for example, three guilt binges, each three minutes long, in the morning, at lunch time, and in the evening, like three pills the doctor prescribed!
In reply to Dr. Burns.
Hi Dr Burns,
Thanks so much for your quick response! I really appreciate your advice; I will dedicate a bit of time today to approaching it the way you say.
And also, I’d be delighted if you included it on a podcast! You can use my first name by all means.
Comment from Carrel
I’m a Democrat in Texas. How can we use disarming to heal the political rifts in our country? How does one find agreement across that ever-widening divide?
Hi Carrel, It’s really tough, for sure! Have you listened to my podcast on this topic? There is a search function on my website. If you type in “political divide,” this podcast will pop right up: “127: How Can We Communicate with Loved Ones on the Opposite Side of the Political Divide?”
Let me know what you think! David
David emphasizes the value of the search function. Often you can find your questions have already been addressed.
In addition, the many podcasts on the Five Secrets of Effective Communication could be invaluable (links), and the emphasis would be on using the Disarming Technique to find some truth in what the other person is proclaiming and arguing for.
But first, you have a decision to make, and this is always based on ONE person you may want to interact with. First, ask yourself if you do actually want a better relationship with person X, Y, or Z. There is no rule that says we have to get along better with everyone.
I think that Joe Biden is doing a pretty good job of promoting unity, and not diverseness in our country. Hopefully, the forces of love and unity will win out over the forces of hatred and war, but it’s not at all clear what direction our country is heading for. And we’re seeing now that at times the tensions are become so intense, and the hatred so strong, that violence is once again on the increase.
In the next Ask David we’ll have a really cool session devoted to the intense anger that many of us feel when confronted by human behavior that strikes us as narcissistic, vicious, self-serving, and aggressive. This topic should appeal to lots of people! And we have a wonderful question from a woman who’s feeling pretty darn enraged!
David and Rhonda
You can reach Dr. Burns at email@example.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California, and can be reached at rhonda@feelinggreattherapycenter. She is a Level 4 Certified TEAM-CBT therapist and trainer and specializes in the treatment of trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. Check out her website: feelinggreattherapycenter.com
If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.
This is the cover of my new book, Feeling Great. You can pre-order it now on Amazon!
Hi Dr David,
Below are the messages that i had sent as feedback comments against your podcast when you along with Rhonda had launched FEELING GREAT,,,
but both my comments till today are saying , “your comments are waiting for moderation” ,
so I assuming some problem in the comment section of that podcast, hence posting those comments here ,, hope you will not mind,,,,
New Delhi India
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thank you very much for this very useful podcast which is not only informing us on what extra we can get in FEELING GREAT but also informs us about about the very special people who left a lasting influence in your own life.
I am Sanjay Gulati from New Delhi ,India and I started evolving 17 years back ( my feeling ), specially after being in fray with the revolutionary change that you brought via FEELING GOOD.You hold the same space in my life as Ludwig Wigenstein in your life
I feel extremely lucky that I can hear you through your podcasts and can interact with you through email ( have got responses in the past ). I am also confident that I will be meeting you in person also some time in the near future.
Empirical to mention here is that you are not just an extraordinary psychiatrist and have created the Bible of Cognitive Therapy for depression cure ( FEELING GOOD ) but also an extraordinary human being because of your simplicity and emotions ( even in this podcast you left the proof of the same while talking about Ludwig Wegenstein with moist eyes ).
Respect for those people goes much higher when they live their life on the principal of “MY LIFE IS MY MESSAGE”.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about Ludwig Wigenstein, i will learn more about him from the “Ludwig Wigenstein- A Memoir”. In case you have written something or have given any talks about Ludwig Wigenstein , then please do share it with me. I will be obliged.
I am very delighted to visualize the glimpses of your thoughts on BUDHA in this podcast. I remember, in one of your earlier podcasts you had mentioned that you were working on a new book DEATH OF SELF, inspired by Budha. I am not sure that you are still working on this book or not but I got the feel from this podcast that those ideas will be covered in Feeling Great !!
Your work and contribution to the mankind is unparalleled, which puts you in the category of Wigenstein, Budha or Gandhi for me and I would like to be your disciple to spread your message to my side of the World i,e starting from India . As a first step will explore the possibility of opening Feeling Good Institute in India. Just today, I have sent an email to the FGI so as to understand the steps needed.Looking forward to the day when I have the privilege to receive you in India.
Thank you God for giving us David Burns !!
Thanks Rhonda for raising the right questions so as to bring the best from Dr Burns !!
sanjay Gulati on October 30, 2020 at 6:49 am
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Hi Dr David and Rhonda,
This is in continuation to my email of yesterday ,,
Dr Burns mentioned in the podcast that he is very strict with home work/ worksheets to be completed by the attendees and he will not allow any one without that to continue.
My query ,, .
I understand that all the participants who has the desire to get well will sure comply and will do their homework and worksheets BUT there might be some participants who has been brought by their well wishers and they themselves still don’t understand what is good for them and hence have no desire to get well ,,how do you motivate them to do work sheets .
Thanks so much! I don’t try to motivate them. I explain how I work, and find our if there is anything they want my help with. I tell them I don’t help people against their will. I let them know at intake that homework is mandatory not optional. I sue the Concept of Self-Help Memo. You have great questions, maybe you can join Rhonda’s new free weekly training group. If so, contact Rhonda Barovsky
, or go to http://www.feelinggoodinstitute.com for a paid introductory 12 week online class. All the best, david
Thanks David, for your reply ,, just for your kind information I have come in touch with @Rhonda and understanding the requirements for setting up a FEELING GOOD INSTITUTE in India..
Good luck. Have you been in contact with Depti Joshi? Warmly, david
Yes Dr David ,,I am in touch with deepti Joshi ,, Rhonda introduced us ,,
Cool, give her my regards! d
When is a “Should” a “Should” and when is it not a “Should.”
Sounds like I’m Shoulding all over myself!
Thanks Doctor B.
You might be! Thanks, Giuseppe, for your kindly comments! Warmly, david
Hi Dr. David, I think we might have corresponded years ago about how I heard Albert Ellis in Chicago say there are (if applying LOGIC in our lives) only CONTINGENT SHOULDS and not ABSOLUTE SHOULDS. IF I don’t want the garage to stink all week, THEN I SHOULD take out the trash today!”. Also, I believe a big problem is the ambiguity / multiple meaning of words in our language. Many use “should” with a MORAL intent, but it gets mistaken as a LOGICAL dictate, when the assertion doesn’t hold empiracal water!
Thanks, Mark, good point! You’re right, all words have multiple meanings and can be used in a variety of ways, and have no one “essential” or “correct” meaning. You could also say, “then it might be a great idea to take the trash out today, or even right now!” Don’t need to use should, but can if you want to! d
Thanks Dr B and Mark for your replies it’s much appreciated.
You’re very welcome! The dialogue is fun! d
Okay, just thought of something thanks to you and Mark. Since Should’s is a past tense auxiliary verb which can be construed as absolute and personal, what if you use SHAll which is a present auxiliary verb and say, “I SHALL take out the trash by the end of the day.” Does this counter the SHOULD ANT? Feels right to me what about you?
Howdy, if it works for you, it works for me! But to my ear, “shall” sounds old-fashioned, like from 200 years ago, but no reason not to use it. I just say, “I’m going to take out the trash.” Problem solved! d
Ha ha David. I agree that ‘shall’ is basically a ‘vow’, very different from ‘should’. If you don’t follow through w/ your vow, you’re not ‘shoulding on yourself’, you’re lying to yourself.
Good thinking! Thanks, Mark. david
Hi Dr. Burns. I loved what you’ve taught on the death of the selves – and recently read the Four Great Deaths of the Therapists Ego in your new book, Feeling Great. One part that I found so helpful was the death of “The Helping, Rescuing Self.” I think I’ve believed that’s my purpose. That’s why I’m there. I’m there to “help” the client feel better and live a full, rich, meaningful life. That’s something I’ve struggled with – because if I’m not there to help, what am I there for? And if I don’t FEEL like I’ve helped, then I’ve failed the client. I’d love to hear this concept expanded on. I think many therapists, coaches, etc. would benefit from seeing how they can work with clients without thinking they have to help or rescue them. Thank you, Dr. Burns.
P.S. Your new book is a goldmine. Enjoying it immensely.
Great question. If it’s okay, may include it in an Ask David segment. All the best, david
Thanks so much to you and Rhonda for discussing my question on the podcast. I’ve been listening to your podcasts for two years and I’ve listened to all of them, so it was an exciting moment to hear you addressing me!
Take care and keep up the great work.
You’re very welcome! We enjoyed addressing your question! d
Great episode, I agree 100% that professionals can and maybe “should” use humor. Although I think that Angela Poach person is a bit sapy, I mean really, a box of tissues?? 😉
In response to Charles question and Dr D’s response about the death of self. Here’s another perspective of looking at death of self. Has anyone ever learned about the Law of Sevens on Human Development. Check it out:
The Law of Sevens (7’s)
Govern the days of the week, phases of the moon, harmonies of sound, light, heat,
electricity, magnetism, atomic structure, life of individuals, atoms, and it dominates the
activities of the commercial world.
Life is growth and growth is change; each 7 year period takes us into a new cycle.
First Period: (Age 1-7) is the period of infancy(The corresponding period in the existence
of anything; very early stage).
Second Period: (Age 8-14) is the period of childhood, representing the beginning of
Third Period: (Age 15-21) represents the period of adolescence(A period or stage of
development, as of a society; preceding maturity).
Fourth Period: (Age 22-28) marks the attainment of full growth.
Fifth Period: (Age 29-35) is the constructive period when men/women begin to acquire
property, possessions, a home and family.
Sixth Period: (Age 36-42) is a period of reactions and changes
Seventh Period: (Age 43-49) is a period of reconstruction, adjustment and recuperation.
So as to be ready for a new cycle of 7’s beginning with Age 50.
Every seven years we go through these stages in our lives. What stage are you currently in? I’m in stage 8= First-Period of infancy and I definitely think, feel and behave like it, especially using humor!
“You are as old as you think”
I’m in the phase where you’re about 13 or 14, I think! Lots of ideas and new things all the time! david