Here’s your paradoxical tip of the day!
Once you develop unconditional self-esteem, try to get rid of it as soon as possible!
Use the Reply / Comment feature below to let us to know how you understand today’s tip.
Thanks!
David
* Copyright © 2018 by David D. Burns, MD.
If you have to do something to game self-esteem, doesn’t that mean it’s conditional?
:Yup! You are so right. So you will want, instead, to develop unconditional self-esteem. Once you’ve got it, get rid of it as fast as possible, since it’s just another perfectionist trap! I have no self-esteem and no “self” (most of the time), and I’m having lots of fun! Though life has bumps on the road, and I often feel hurt, sad, and disappointed, too. david
Let me get it first and taste how it feels before I decide what to do with it.
Interesting, Rabah. Thanks! david
That doesn’t make sense. Why would I rid of what makes me feel good? Something that tells me that I can achieve goals and to be down to earth. It’s very difficult to see it. But my guess: having self-esteem also means comparing yourself with someone or with your past and future self. But when you leave it behind, you realize that you are not a good or bad being, you only have bad and good actions and those that are in the middle.
Hi Joshua, Good thinking, thanks! You’re definitely heading in the right direction! david
Here’s a way I suppose you can think it: Imagine that you are never hungry and you don’t need food. How much would food be part of your thinking? If you’re never starving or having a need for food the thoughts about food disappear. If you think this way about self-esteem then why bother with thoughts on self-esteem when there are other life matters to attend to?
Thanks, Claus, very thoughtful comments! david