Here’s your paradoxical tip of the day!
Therapeutic failure is nearly always your greatest success in disguise!
Use the Reply / Comment feature below to let us to know how you understand today’s tip.
* Copyright © 2018 by David D. Burns, MD.
When you fail, you REALIZE what you’ve done wrong and you can correct it! I tell my guitar students that when they make mistakes it’s a discovery and if they hadn’t made that mistake neither me nor the student will have realized what to correct until later when the mistake finally pops up. Hope it makes sense!
good thinking! david
Elaborate on what this means please?
check the Wednesday answer to the Tuesday tip! david
I’m an adult with a high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder (once known as Asperger’s Syndrome) that was diagnosed in my late 30s. And the reason that I was diagnosed at all was because I experienced a series of failures. Relationships, college courses, jobs ans so on. I’ve now come to believe that failure is an opportunity to learn, maybe to give more thought to the reasons for it. So, if therapy fails, maybe it’s because you have no rapport with the therapist or the methods used just don’t work for you. But it’s not a reason to give up; it’s a reason to try something different.
I’m not sure I get it. Suppose someone else writes how much they agree with you on the deficiencies of other schools of therapy and how they like the confidence you show in your manner of presentation. If a criticism is really not about who you are but is an expression of how someone else perceives you as filtered through their expectations, values, and judgements, why is it necessary to do more than just acknowledge how they feel and accept that you understand why they feel that way and not necessarily validate you need to change? You have the right to be who you are and there is no way you can please everybody.
Thanks, Dave, you actually do NOT have to find truth in the criticism when someone criticizes you. It’s just an option! david
It helps bring you closer to the client and builts a stronger, more trustful connection..
Definitely! Thanks, david
talking about a mistake or something we did wrong, show our sincerity, our commitment to work on it. And that we also are humans!. to show that to someone, especially our patients unite us and do well on our team work.
Thanks, and right you are! david
My therapist and I have been failing for eight years. Is it time to stop?
Sadly, I cannot ethically comment on that, as I have no information. However, it does seem like a long time! All the best, david