The Roles and the Rules—Psychoanalysis at Warp Speed!
Most of us run into conflicts with other people from time to time, or even frequently. In this podcast, you will discover precisely why this happens, and how you to change the beliefs that get you into trouble, if that’s what you want to do.
Psychoanalysts sometimes help people discover what they call “core conflicts.” According to the highly regarded psychoanalytic researcher Lester Luborsky, PhD, an example of a core conflict might be, “My needs will never be met in my relationships with others.” If you believe this, it will tend to function as a self-fulfilling prophecy, so you’ll constantly feel hurt, lonely, and rejected, and perhaps resentful when you try to get close to others. And you probably won’t realize you’re creating your own painful interpersonal reality. You’ll think that this is just the way it is. Once you bring the painful system to conscious awareness, you can use a variety of powerful techniques to change your expectations and beliefs so you can enjoy far greater satisfaction and intimacy in your relationships with others.
David and Fabrice will illustrate a powerful, high-speed method that to bring your own Interpersonal Self-Defeating Beliefs to conscious awareness. David has called it the Interpersonal Downward Arrow Technique. David and Fabrice will revisit the same clinical example from the last Podcast—the psychologist named Harold who felt devastated when his favorite patient unexpectedly committed suicide, but in this podcast they will examine how Harold sets up his relationships with his colleagues in a way that causes him to feel lonely, anxious, and resentful.
You can use the Interpersonal Downward Arrow Technique to identify anybody’s Self-Defeating Beliefs in five to seven minutes, as opposed to spending five years or more free-associating on an analyst’s couch to get the same information. Not a bad deal!
During the podcast, you may want to download and print “The Rules and the Roles” form that David and Fabrice will be using during the podcast. There will be an exercise for you to do while you are listening. But don’t do the written exercise if you’re listening while driving in your car!
In the next podcast, David and Fabrice will discuss a third powerful uncovering technique developed by the late Dr. Albert Ellis, a former psychoanalyst from New York who is considered the “Grandfather of Cognitive Therapy.” It’s called the “What-If Technique,” and Dr. Burns will bring it to life with an inspiring and dramatic story of a woman from San Francisco who had been suffering from years of mild depression and severe Agoraphobia—the intense fear of leaving home alone.
So stay tuned! And feel free to comment below or ask questions. Fabrice and I greatly appreciate your feedback and guidance!
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I look forward to these podcasts every Monday! I’m starting to love Monday mornings!
Thanks, Rob! Always great to hear from you! david
Dr. Burns, these podcasts are excellent! I would love to hear more live therapy sessions and if possible, on video would be even more powerful. Keep it up!
Thanks Ben, more live therapy podcasts will be arriving shortly! Glad you are enjoying the podcasts. Fabrice and I have a good time creating them! david
I really enjoyed this podcast. I am a therapist in Kenya. It was interesting to me that you mentioned that the easiest part of the interpersonal arrow would be about the feelings. In kenya this would be hardest part. As culturally we do not touch much on feelings.
Very cool, thanks, Anita. I have heard this too, especially for African men, who must solve problems rather than express or acknowledge feelings. d
Hi David and Fabrice. Again a very instructive episode! In this one you mention a live demonstration that’s been recorded on video with a 69 year old man. I wondered if this (or any other) video recording has been (approved to) made available to the general public to watch (and learn from)? Regards, Mundy from Holland
Thanks, Mundy. There’s an amazing video for sale in my Store on my website. There are tons of free live audio recorded sessions in my Feeling Good Podcasts, and you can use the search function or list of podcasts on my website to easily find them. It might be the therapy with Mark, not sure what one you’re referring to. But you’ll find tons of mind-blowing real therapy sessions on the podcasts. david
I’ve been listening to several of these podcasts ( I am not a therapist but rather a long time patient – not necessarily with CBT and definitely not TEAM).
I love the podcasts but I do have one very fundamental question and apprehension and it is at the core of CBT – it is the idea that thoughts can overcome feelings.
I’ve always learned that emotions (feelings) are stronger than thoughts.
For example, people tend to buy products or vote for politicians on an emotional rather than logical basis.
There was a pretty famous book about this political effect (I believe it was called something like: “What’s Wrong With Iowa”).
It discusses how people tended to vote against their own self interests because they get caught up in emotional feelings of fear and anger.
So how can trying to change my thoughts actually be powerful enough to change such strong emotions as fear, anger anxiety and depression?
Thank you so much for doing these podcasts and making your experience and wisdom available to everyone.
Thanks, Harvey, great questions that are covered completely in my books, like the Feeling Good Handbook, and the podcasts. You’re right that emotions and motivations must be addressed skillfully, including “resistance,” before you can crush your negative thoughts and get catapulted into a joyous state. You’ll learn about all of that in my books and podcasts. david
Dear Dr Burns,
An excellent podcast as with all your podcasts. I found this one particularly interesting because the interpersonal downward arrow has helped me enormously and is very rarely covered in your other podcasts. In fact, apart from two other podcasts which briefly touch upon this method, I could not find any others that talk more about it.
Perhaps you could do another detailed podcast about this? You mentioned in this podcast that you had another 3 excellent examples of clinical work with the IDA so personally I would love it if you could discuss this in more detail as well as how you use different methods to change the limiting beliefs uncovered – the “rules”.
This podcast has helped me enormously and I wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the resources you make available, it is the most helpful material I have ever come across.