In this podcast, David and Fabrice explore the “Empathy” part of the T.E.A.M. model. David describes:
- How an encounter with a patient with paranoid schizophrenia dramatically changed the course of his career
- The 5 Secrets of Effective Communication
- How to talk with your EAR
Dr. Burns also discusses what therapists can do when
- you are angry with a patient
- you don’t like a patient
- or when a patient is angry with you
(Repost for submission to iTunes)
Excellent!!!!
Thanks, Robert! d
This podcast was very helpful.
Your experiences teaches us a lot and make things more clearer.
Thanks! david
Hello,
Many thanks for this podcast. It’s been really helpful. And I do agree that practicing the 5 key of Effective Communication is extremely important.
I would like to have your opinion with regard to the 5 Key to Effective Communication.
I had a really mild argument with my teenage 17year-old son, last night. I bought him an M size jacket instead of an S size. When I asked him if the jacket suited him, he replied “why don’t you ever listen to me! I asked you to get me an S size, but still, you buy me an M size!
I replied I got him an M size because the website warned that the clothing size fit small.
Then he went back to his room… whereas, I, ran to my Relationship journal and started to work on this little argument
I sure did feel bad, and worthless as I wasn’t able to get him what he requested.
I decided to use the 5 key to Effective Communication and did my best to include the 5 steps, and when I expressed my feeling with regard to what he had said, he snapped right back at me saying “oh, stop acting as if you were a victim there !
Though it is very difficult to express my feelings (as I was taught from chlildhood to hide them/put them aside), I also can understand how difficult it can be, to hear someone expressing his/her feelings.
My son was able to hear the empathy I had towards his thoughts and feelings, but was not ready to hear how I felt about my feelings.
Where did I do wrong?
How do we do when the person, we are having a conversation with, does not feel confortable in sharing his/her feelings and thoughts or does not know how to deal when hearing them?
Your incents would be grately appreciated.
Warm regards,
France
Send my an RJ and can review it on a podcast, if that’s okay! d
Hey France
As a father who has his share of good and bad experiences with my teens I’d like to share something that eventually worked for me. Teens are struggling to know who they are and at the core it seems to me they need to know they are heard and understood (so they feel connected). The feeling empathy for your son seems to need to include that he is feeling not listened to and not understood (and therefore unimportant to you).
It seems to me that trying to have him understand you in that situation isn’t immediately helpful to him, only to you. So what I have done is try not to “feel heard” by my teen, only hear THEM. that’s tough as I need to be validated too so I got into regular therapy to have my own needs met there. And my wife could hear me too.
Thanks, Rob. Everyone gives lip service to “listening,” thinking they do a good job, when they don’t! so your comment has a great deal of wisdom! All the best, david
stirling moorey seems to be how this student’s name is spelled. 2 books, no youtube.
A wonderful podcast!!!
Thanks! d
Hi, I am enjoying the anxiety and depression podcasts. I can’t figure out where to find the ‘show notes’ that keep being referred to. But I ordered the Feeling Good and Feeling Great books so I assume the material will be in there too? Thanks so much for making this available.
On my webssite, feelinggood.com, go to the podcast tab, and look at the list of all the podcasts with links to show notes. Thanks! d
Pleased that with each podcast I’m learning new and better ways to handle situations and how changing the negative thought process effects the way I hear and interpret what others are actually saying verses how I interpret way is being said.
This is really helping me with my self-confidence and lessening my fear of being around people and social settings.
Can’t wait for your next podcast.
Sincerely,
Saphira
Thanks Saphira! Warmly, david
I’m struggling with terrible Anxiety
Sorry to hear that. From personal experience, I know that anxiety sucks! You might like my book, When Panic Attacks, especially if you do the written exercises while reading. Also a free anxiety class on my website, and more. All the best, david