143: Performance Anxiety: The Conclusion

143: Performance Anxiety: The Conclusion

Session with Rhonda, Part 2

Last week we published the first half of the session with Rhonda, who was struggling with severe performance anxiety about her work as the new host of the Feeling Good Podcast host. We did the initial T = Testing, which indicated many intense negative feelings, as well as E = Empathy phase of TEAM therapy session.

This week, we include the conclusion of the session, with A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting and M = Methods, plus final T = Testing to see how effective, or ineffective the session was.

As a reminder of the work we did on the last podcast, you can review Rhonda’s Daily Mood Log here.

When you listen, you will see that the changes Rhonda experienced were amazing. But were these changes real? It almost seem too easy, and too fast, especially for a problem that started in childhood and persisted right up to the present moment. Was the session just a publicity stunt, perhaps, or some kind of superficial quick fix? David asks Rhonda about this, as well as this question: ‘If the changes were real, what caused such rapid and profound changes?

David and Rhonda used many TEAM-CBT techniques they during the session, including these:

  1. David Empathized with the Five Secrets of Effective Communication at the start of the session during the E = Empathy phase. Of course, good empathy is necessary throughout a therapy session.
  2. David melted away Rhonda’s resistance during the A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting. These techniques included:
    1. Straightforward Invitation
    2. Miracle Cure Question
    3. Magic Button
    4. Positive Reframing
    5. Pivot Question
    6. Magic Dial
  3. The M = Methods that were helpful in this session included:
    1. The Individual Downward Arrow to identify the Self-Defeating Beliefs that triggered Rhonda’s feelings of inadequacy.Rhonda enjoyed this exercise and felt it was on target.  We identified many Self-Defeating Beliefs, including:
      1.  Perfectionism
      2. Perceived Perfectionism
      3. Achievement Addiction
      4. Approval Addiction
      5. Love Addiction
      6. Fear of Rejection
      7. Submissiveness
      8. Inadequacy schema
      9. Spotlight Fantasy
      10. Brushfire Fallacy
      11. Superwoman
    2. The Interpersonal Downward Arrow to illuminate how Rhonda saw her relationship with her father, with David, and with some other people, including the podcast listeners. This is kind of like Psychoanalysis at warp speed. Rhonda said this felt uncomfortable, perhaps because it cast David somewhat as a dangerous ogre!
    3. David and Rhonda smashed several of Rhonda’s Self-Defeating Beliefs with the Feared Fantasy Technique
    4. Identify the Distortions
    5. Paradoxical Double Standard Technique
    6. Externalization of Voices
    7. Acceptance Paradox / Self-Defense Paradigm
    8. Self-Disclosure / Exposure
    9. The Experimental Technique
    10. Thinking in Shades of Gray

Finally, if the changes were real, will they last? Or will Rhonda just slip back into more performance anxiety and self-doubt?

You can click on this link if you’d like to review the evolution of Rhonda’s Daily Mood Log during the session. Please notice that the link is several pages long.

You can also see Rhonda’s ratings on the Brief Mood Survey before and after the session and review her ratings of David on the Empathy and Helpfulness scales at the end of the session. You might want to read her interesting comments on what she liked the least, and what she liked the most about her session with David.

I want to thank Rhonda, my esteemed colleague, friend, and wonderful podcast host, for giving all of us this incredible gift of her humanness.

And I, Rhonda, want to thank the most marvelous, compassionate and incredible David Burns, for the gift of healing and facilitating me experiencing enlightenment and peace from these difficult feelings and negative thoughts that were devastating me.  I feel so much gratitude for all of our work together, for your trusting me enough to invite me to be the host of these podcasts, and for the gift of your friendship.  Words can’t express the full depth of my love for you and for everything you have given me both personally and professionally!

Did you like the personal work we did? Was it helpful for you personally? Rhonda took a chance and was courageous to share this intensely personal experience with you. Let us know if you liked the podcast!

If you are a therapist, or an interested patient, let us know if this was it a good learning experience. Would you like to hear more podcasts with live personal work?

We are here to serve you, so share your thoughts and feelings with us, as well as your wish list for future podcasts!

David and Rhonda

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

There will be three awesome intensives
for you this summer and fall!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary, Canada four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

November 4 – 7, 2019
Atlanta, Georgia four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

142: Performance Anxiety: The Story of Rhonda, Part 1

142: Performance Anxiety: The Story of Rhonda, Part 1

“I sound stupid! . . . Ouch!”

Have you ever struggled with performance anxiety, thinking you might fail or not be good enough? I think it is fair to say that every therapist in my Tuesday training group at Stanford has struggled with fairly intense feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, and perhaps you have, too, thinking you should be smarter or better than you are, and fearing that others would judge you if they saw your “true self.” In fact, I would suspect that most of our podcast fans have struggled with these feelings at some time during your life, and maybe even recently or now.

Well, today, we’ve got a wonderful program in store for you. Our own Dr. Rhonda Barovsky asked me for personal help with her own anxieties about being the new podcast host. I asked if she wanted to do it live, on a podcast, and she generously agreed!

In this heart-warming and very human session, Rhonda shares the negative thoughts and feelings she had when she listened to herself on several podcasts and begin noticing this or that error she made. She felt intensely down, anxious, ashamed, inadequate, rejected, embarrassed, discouraged, frustrated, and angry, to name just a few of her negative feelings, and her mind was flooded with negative thoughts like these:

  1. I sound stupid and inarticulate, and some of my comments were inaccurate, like when I said psychiatric diagnoses are meaningless labels.
  2. I’ve had feelings of insecurity ever since I was a child, and should be over this by now!
  3. David is going to regret having me as the podcast host!
  4. Everyone will know I’m a fraud, and no one will like or respect me.
  5. People will judge and reject me, and I’ll end up ostracized and alone.

She believed these thoughts at 100%. You might recall that the Necessary and Sufficient Conditions for emotional distress are:

  1. You have one or more negative thoughts.
  2. You believe the negative thoughts.

In today’s podcast, you will hear the first half of the session, which included T = Testing as well as E = Empathy. During the Empathy phase, David also included two Uncovering Techniques, the individual Downward Arrow Technique and the Interpersonal Downward Arrow Technique, so that he and Rhonda could identify the Self-Defeating Beliefs under the surface, like Perfectionism, Perceived Perfectionism, the Approval Addiction, Superwoman, and more.

This is because there are two goals in TEAM-CBT. The first goal is to crush the negative thoughts in the here and now, so that you’ll feel relief. The second goal is to modify the Self-Defeating Beliefs so you’ll be less prone to similar thoughts and feelings in the future.

In next week’s podcast, you will hear the second half of the session, which included A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting and M = Methods. You’ll also hear the final T = Testing to find out how effective the session was, and how Rhonda rated David on Empathy and Helpfulness.

I think you’ll find that both sessions are incredibly inspiring and wonderful sources of learning as well. I want to give a shout out to Rhonda for being so courageous and vulnerable and real, and for making this live therapy session possible! After you’ve heard Part 2 next week, let us know what you think!

You’ve all responded very positively to the live therapy we’ve done on the Feeling Good Podcasts, and you’ve asked for more. Rhonda and I are committed to making that happen for you, and we are both so grateful for your support, which means a lot to both of us. Thank you!

David and Rhonda

 

Subscribe

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you may download it here.

* * *

There will be three awesome intensives
for you this summer and fall!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary, Canada four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

November 4 – 7, 2019
Atlanta, Georgia four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

I Goofed–But Some Exciting Personal Work Is Coming Soon!

I Goofed–But Some Exciting Personal Work Is Coming Soon!

I Deleted a Post I Published by Mistake Yesterday! 

but

High-Speed Trauma Treatment and 

High-Speed Treatment of Performance Anxiety

Are Coming Soon

Live TEAM Therapy!

Yesterday I pushed the “Publish” button by mistake while working on the show notes for an upcoming podcast on performance anxiety with my co-host, Rhonda. I immediately deleted the post, but some of you tried to link to it since it instantly appeared on Facebook. Then some of you got the message that the link was broken.

That’s the BAD NEWS! I apologize for my goof.

Here’s the GOOD NEWS! Many of you have asked for more live personal work on the Feeling Good Podcasts, so here’s what we’ve got coming up for you soon:

High-Speed Treatment of Trauma
Parts 1 and 2–Live TEAM Therapy with Sherrie.

These podcasts will be published on  on the next two Mondays, April 22 and 29th, 2019. We may even be able to provide you with a two-year follow up in a few weeks so you can see if the effects of the TEAM Therapy session lasted, and how Sherrie is feeling now, looking back on the work she did with David and Mike Christensen.

High-Speed Treatment of Performance Anxiety,
Parts 1 and 2–Live TEAM Therapy with Rhonda.

Have you ever struggled with performance anxiety, thinking you were going to goof up and fearing that other would judge or reject you because you weren’t good enough? If so, you won’t want to miss these riveting and incredibly real podcasts that will be published on Monday, May 27 and Monday, June 3, 2019.

I am very indebted to Sherrie and Rhonda for sharing their intensely personal feelings with all of us. I believe that there is a tremendous amount to be learned from observing actual therapy sessions, as opposed to role-play demonstrations, so you can ask yourself, questions like these: “Is this real,” and “How does it work?”

Whether you are a therapist hoping to improve your therapy skills, or a general citizen looking for a little self-help and inspiration, there is a great deal to be gained from observing live therapy sessions, both from a practical and from a spiritual perspective. And it would not be possible without individuals with great courage and generosity to share their inner selves with all of us! 

David and Rhonda

You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com. Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California, and can be reached at rbarovsky@aol.com.

If you like our jingle music and would like to support the composer Brett Van Donsel, you can visit his website here.

* * *

There will be two awesome summer intensives
for you this year! I hope you can join me at one of them!

July 15 – 18, 2019
Calgary four-day intensive
Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Assoc.

 

July 29 – August 1, 2019
South San Francisco four-day intensive
Sponsored by Praxis

 

Moved to Tears by Mark’s Live Therapy Podcast / How do You Treat Habits and Addictions?

Moved to Tears by Mark’s Live Therapy Podcast / How do You Treat Habits and Addictions?

Dear David,

I wanted to contact you to tell you how tremendously informative, interesting, moving and inspiring I find your work and your podcasts.

I have listened to all the podcasts—many twice. I find that on the 2nd listening, I pick more up. I get out on my bike and the miles just fly by as I listen to these!

One day my wife returned just as your wonderful episodes with Mark were concluding. As she walked in, I was weeping tears of relief as I also understood (at the same time as Mark did) that my depression and anxiety said something beautiful and awesome about me, rather than only indicating something broken and weak.

I struggled (through the tears) to tell her that these were tears of joy and relief, and not sadness.

Also, I found your book Feeling Good and the Feeling Good Handbook most helpful for my own depression and anxiety. Your wisdom about Action leading to Motivation is something I use every day personally and professionally.

I would be extremely grateful if you could help me with something that has been bothering me professionally for years. I work at the Scottish Government as a personal trainer specializing in eating for weight loss. I have used your own and other CBT based books to help people with stick to weight loss eating plans with some success. But I really get the sense that your TEAM methods might “turbo-charge” the CBT methods.

Can you detail how the paradoxical agenda setting / outcome and process resistance stage might work in eating for weight loss scenarios to help people get (and stay) motivated to stop overeating (even if it’s not a huge overconsumption, just enough to keep them overweight). How can the TEAM approach help them stick to a sensible weight loss plan?

With 35 million people (in the UK alone) in these overweight/obese categories and no signs of a slowdown, I really feel that a large-scale adoption of a “turbo-charged” approach to motivation may help turn this around.

Your very gratefully,

Greg

P.S. I look forward to watching your next live interview on Sunday which I missed this week.

Hi Greg,

Thank you for your thoughtful email and kind comments about the Feeling Good Podcasts, which I will pass along to our “patient,” Mark, and Dr. Jill Levitt, my co-therapist, and my host, Dr. Fabrice Nye. I was inspired and touched by the tears you experienced while listening to the podcast, and I’m so glad you enjoyed the live therapy with Mark!

You asked some questions about the treatment of habits and addictions, such as overeating. The Outcome Resistance issue for habits and addictions is having to give up your greatest, or only, source of pleasure and reward. The Process Resistance issue involves discipline and deprivation. That’s not a very appealing deal, because you have to give up intense and frequent instant gratification in exchange for discipline and deprivation, and this explains why treatment programs are so ineffective.

Incidentally, most treatment programs focus on trying to “help,” as opposed to focusing on why the patient really does not want to give up the habit or addiction. Without a really strong focus on motivation and resistance, nearly all treatment programs will be doomed to failure, or mediocre results at best.

And that’s what you see if you examine the controlled outcome studies that have been published. I am not aware of any really effective treatment program for any habit or addiction. Of course, every approach has advocates, and every approach works for some folks—but I’m talking about controlled outcome studies with an experimental group and a control group, in terms of short-term and long-term results. Most treatments barely outperform placebo treatment, at best.

Of course, the advocates of these approaches do not like to admit this, because they have a heavy intellectual, emotional, or financial commitment to their approach, which might be AA for alcohol misuse, or this or that commercial weight loss program that’s advertised heavily on television. Once your income, ego, or name gets invested in a particular approach, it can be very difficult, or nearly impossible, to let go and look at things objectively and admit that your favorite approach really doesn’t have much merit! Sadly, the needs of market and the needs of science often clash, and in our field, marketing usually wins.

So what do we do in TEAM-CBT? I can only give you some hints about it here, but I’ll take a stab at it and hope for the best.

Recently, several people I’ve hiked with have asked for help with their overeating. One fairly easy approach to learn is called the “Double Paradox,” and I touched on it briefly in last Sunday’s live Q and A on Facebook. You can do it on paper most effectively. First, I ask the person to list all the advantages of eating as much as you like of whatever you like whenever you like.

There are tons of advantages, including:

  • That Cinnabon (or whatever food you love) will taste SO GOOD!
  • I’m entitled to a little treat after a hard and frustrating day at work.
  • That treat will make me feel so good.
  • Eating will help me cope with negative feelings of depression loneliness, frustration, anxiety, boredom, and disappointment.
  • Eating good food is a deeply meaningful social activity with friends and family, and shows my love for others.
  • Good food tastes SO GOOD, and that’s my favorite kind of mint chocolate (or whatever.)
  • Eating is easy and rewarding.
  • Being overweight gives me an excuse to avoid dating and risking rejection.
  • Cooking and preparing wonderful food for my family is a source of great source of pleasure.
  • I’m too old to have to worry about being thin.
  • Why should I have to follow the rules of society? I have the right to be any way I want to be.
  • etc. etc.

Most individuals who are overweight should be able to come up with at least a dozen overwhelming benefits and advantages of overeating.

If the patient cannot or will not do this, then you might as well give up, because you’re already defeated by his or her denial. The fact is, overeating REALLY IS one of the great pleasures in life. You can prime the pump a little by suggesting one or two benefits of overeating, but the patient should do most of the work on this.

Then I ask the patient to list the many disadvantages of diet and exercise. For example:

  • It’s hard to diet.
  • I’ll have to struggle with cravings and temptations.
  • It’s unfair because life is already hard.
  • It’s no fun to go out and jog when it’s cold and rainy.
  • I never get a runner’s high anyway.
  • I hate exercising and I love eating!
  • It’s way more rewarding to watch TV and eat Doritos.
  • Even if I lose weight, I’ll just gain it all back later on anyway.
  • Losing weight is hopeless, so I might as well give up.
  • Other people can eat whatever they want and still be thin. Why should I have to suffer?
  • Etc etc etc.

Most individuals who are overweight should be able to come up with at least a dozen or more overwhelming disadvantages of diet and exercise.

Once we have these lists, I use another technique I’ve created called the Acid Test, which involves saying something like this:

“Gee, Jim (or Mary), given all those tremendous advantages or overeating, and the many powerful and real disadvantages of diet and exercise, it’s not at all clear to me why you’d want to change.”

Now it’s up to the patient to decide that he or she actually does not want to diet and exercise, or that he or she does want to. In most cases, your work will be done. If the patient decides he or she does not want to change, you can just “Sit with Open Hands” and ask if there’s anything he or she does want help with. This requires a therapeutic attitude of “non-attachment,” which is challenging for co-dependent therapists who are addicted to “helping.”

If the patient can convince you that he or she does want to change, in most cases he or she will run with the ball and not require any further help from you. There are tons of ways to diet, and tons of ways to exercise, and it does not make much difference what approach the patient takes if he or she is motivated. In my experience, most will know what approach they want to pursue.

Notice that this approach requires the therapist to become the voice of the patient’s conscious or subconscious resistance, and give up the role of “helper.” Some therapists can learn how to do this; most cannot, due to their own compulsive addiction to throwing “help” at patients.

I do have many more techniques, but this is getting long so let it be an introduction of sorts. Let me know if you liked this blog, and if you want more techniques to combat habits and addictions.

In addition, if you like or decide to use some of these techniques, such as the Double Paradox, the Acid Test, Sitting with Open Hands, and other approaches I have described in my podcasts, blogs, workshops, and books. I always appreciate some acknowledgement that I created them. I say this because sometimes people have taken my ideas and techniques, given them a slightly different name, and claimed them for their own. Quite a few have even started their own schools of therapy, based on one of the techniques I’ve created, without giving me any credit. I find this annoying!

I’m not criticizing you, just blowing off some steam! One of the reasons I always admired Dr. Albert Ellis is that he never did that. He always gave credit where credit was due, and had tremendous integrity. He was, arguably, a bit eccentric, but totally honest!

Thanks again, Greg!

David

 

If you are reading this blog on social media, I appreciate it! I would like to invite you to visit my website, http://www.FeelingGood.com, as well. There you will find a wealth of free goodies, including my Feeling Good blogs, my Feeling Good Podcasts with host, Dr. Fabrice Nye, and the Ask Dr. David blogs as well, along with announcements of upcoming workshops, and tons of resources for mental health professionals as well as patients!

Once you link to my blog, you can sign up using the widget at the top of the column to the right of each page. Please forward my blogs to friends as well, especially anyone with an interest in mood problems, psychotherapy, or relationship conflicts.

Thanks! David

Was It Real? Or a Hoax?

Was It Real? Or a Hoax?

At most of my workshops, I do a live demonstration with a volunteer from the audience who has been struggling with feelings of depression, anxiety, or just simply being “not good enough.” That includes nearly all of us, including mental health professionals! I know I’ve felt like that on many occasions.

I’m a firm believer that when you do your own personal work, and heal yourself, you have vastly more to offer your patients. You are no longer just a technician but a healer, and you say this to your patients: “I know how you feel, because I’ve been there myself. And I can show you the way out of the woods, as well!”

That’s why I always include personal work in the training I offer in TEAM-CBT, both at Stanford, and at my workshops around the US and Canada, and on the Sunday hikes as well. Live demonstrations have proven to be one of the most effective and inspiring teaching methods–but they aren’t entirely without controversy.

The main problem is that when I do live demonstrations, I often see  a dramatic reduction in symptoms, or even a complete elimination of symptoms, in a single therapy session lasting approximately two hours. And sometimes, the results are so dramatic that some people in the audience insist that it could not be real.

That’s what happened at my summer intensive in Burlingame, California, this year. A wonderful young woman who we can call “Holly” volunteered for the live demonstration. Although she’d been struggling with intense feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem throughout her entire life, she responded so dramatically that a few people in the audience thought it was a hoax, and that she was a paid actress. I know this because I received some angry comments on the written feedback form that participants filled out at the end of the demonstration. Most people were thrilled and inspired by what they saw, fortunately, but some were clearly not convinced.

Well, now you can judge for yourself. Our “Holly” kindly volunteered to do a brief video describing her experiences at the workshop, and how she’s been feeling ever since. I think you’ll enjoy it, and find her comments to be mesmerizing. The video was shot, unknown to me, by a colleague, Lisa Kelley, who happened to run into Holly a week or two after the workshop.

You can watch the video here. Then afterwards, you can read more below and I’ll show you exactly what happened, step by step, when Jill and I were working with Holly.

Some mental health professional are understandably very skeptical about such extremely rapid recovery because most of us have been trained to believe that recovery from depression is an inherently slow process that unfolds only after many years of treatment, or may even require more than a decade of treatment. So when they see an extremely rapid elimination of symptoms, they simply cannot accept it, and feel the need to explain it away. There was a time when I felt this way, too!

In addition, when I was growing up in Phoenix, faith healers often came to town, or appeared on television, doing miraculous healing in front of huge audiences of true believers. But most people realized that these charismatic faith healers in white suites with Bibles in hand were, for the most part, frauds.

My co-therapist for the session at the workshop was Dr. Jill Levitt, who teaches with me at the Tuesday group at Stanford. Jill is a phenomenally skillful and compassionate clinical psychologist, and I always treasure the opportunity to work with her. When we work together, magic seems to happen. I feel very fortunate to teach with Jill and to have her as a colleague. We will be presenting two workshops together this fall at the ABCT conference in San Diego. Here’s the link if you want to check it out!

The before session testing indicated that our “patient,” Holly, was struggling with very significant depression and anxiety, and she said she’d struggled with these painful feelings unsuccessfully for many years. You can see Holly’s scores on the Brief Mood Survey that she completed just before the session began if you click here.

Although her depression score is only moderate, you can see that her feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem were extreme, and that her feelings of anxiety were quite also intense. In addition, her score on the Positive Feelings test was very low, indicating very few positive feelings about herself and her life.

Jill and I started the TEAM-CBT session with T = Testing. If you click here, you can see the Daily Mood Log that Holly filled out just before the session started. As you can see, Holly was struggling with a myriad of negative feelings and intensely negative thoughts. Holly told us that she’d really always felt like that and had never really felt happy or good about herself, although she usually kept her negative thoughts and feelings hidden. This was especially sad.

At the start of the session, Jill and I empathized (E = Empathy), and we seemed to develop excellent rapport with Holly very quickly. After only about 20 minutes or so, she gave us an “A” on empathy, and said she felt understood and accepted.

Then we went on to A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting. The goal is to find out what, if anything, the patient wants help with during the session, and then to melt away his or her resistance to change. Holly said that she wanted to feel better about her life, if possible, so Jill and I used the Magic Button. Essentially, we asked Holly to imagine there was a Magic Button, and if she pressed it, all of her negative thoughts and feelings would instantly disappear, with no effort, and she’d be flooded with feelings of joy.

Would she press it?

Like almost every person I’ve worked with, she said she’d press it immediately!

Then Jill and I said that while we had some fabulous tools to help her, we weren’t convinced it would be such a good idea to press that Magic Button, because we might lose something very valuable at the same time.

Then we introduced a tool that proved exceptionally helpful called Positive Reframing. We asked Holly to list, with our help, two things about each of her negative thoughts and feelings:

  1. What does this negative thought or feeling show about me and my personal values that’s beautiful and positive, or even awesome?
  2. What are some advantages, or benefits, of this negative thought or feeling?

If you like, you can take a look at Holly’s Daily Mood Log and see what you can come up with! Make your own list before you continue reading.

This exercise may be really hard for you at first, because this is not the way we usually think about psychiatric “symptoms!” We don’t usually ask ourselves what’s really GREAT about feelings worthless, or hopeless, or ashamed or enraged. And we don’t usually ask ourselves what’s really wonderful about our own self-critical thoughts, such as “I’m an idiot” or “I’m fat and ugly.”

It was also hard for Holly, but she got into the swing of things pretty quickly, and together, we came up with a pretty impressive Positive Reframing List that you can review by clicking here after you’ve completed your own list.

The idea is that since your negative thoughts and feelings are beneficial, and reflect your core values, it might not be such a good idea to press the Magic Button and make them disappear entirely. To resolve this dilemma, we introduced the idea of the Magic Dial. We explained that since Holly’s negative thoughts and feelings revealed so many awesome things about her, and had helped her tremendously during her life, may she might instead prefer to dial her negative feelings down to some lower level, rather than getting rid of them entirely.

Holly listed her ideal levels for each negative feeling in the “% Goal” column of her Daily Mood Log, as you can see if you click here. Her ideal levels for each feeling were much lower, in the range of 10% to 30% for each feeling.

Essentially, Jill and I have made a “deal” with Holly’s subconscious mind. We’ve said, “We’ll lower them only to these levels.” This also puts Holly in charge of the session, so that we’re not pushing or selling anything, and so that we’re following her agenda. This is one of the most important parts of TEAM-CBT.

The “% Goal” column on the Daily Mood Log is not written in stone, and is actually a kind of illusion. That’s because Holly’s goals for each negative feeling might change once she begins to crush her negative thoughts.

We then went on to the M = Methods phase of the TEAM-CBT session, and helped Holly challenge each of her Negative Thoughts using several powerful techniques, including:

  1. Identify the Distortions
  2. Externalization of Voices
  3. Acceptance Paradox
  4. Self-Defense Paradigm

As it turned out, these techniques were incredibly effective, and her recovery was rapid and, I think it is fair to say, fantastic, and almost immediate. This is why some in the audience found it so hard to accept or believe. What happened, really, was like a miracle.

You can see Holly’s end of session scores on the Brief Mood Survey if you click here. In addition, all of her negative feelings on the Daily Mood Log fell all the way to zero. Holly was more than simply “improved” by the end of the session. I think it is fair to say that she was (and still is) jubilant.

And she now has so much more to bring to her own patients, the troubled teenagers she treats. And that’s why I’m a firm believer that doing your own personal work is vitally important to therapists. Because then, like Holly, you can tell your own patients, “I know what you feel like, because I’ve been there myself, and know what that pain is like. And I can show you the path out of the woods, and what a joy that will be!”

Fortunately, by the end of the four day program, most of the participants had changed their thinking and realized that the live demonstration had been absolutely real. I hope you feel the same way! I was humbled and thrilled to receive a standing ovation, something that only occasionally happens, and something that means a lot to me.

Holly graciously gave me permission to post the video here for you. I hope you have enjoy it!

I am very indebted to Holly for her courageous and deeply meaningful contribution to the workshop, and now you will have a chance to share the joy that she is feeling!

All the best,

David

 

If you are reading this blog on social media, I appreciate it! I would like to invite you to visit my website, http://www.FeelingGood.com, as well. There you will find a wealth of free goodies, including my Feeling Good blogs, my Feeling Good Podcasts with host, Dr. Fabrice Nye, and the Ask Dr. David blogs as well, along with announcements of upcoming workshops, and tons of resources for mental health professionals as well as patients!

Once you link to my blog, you can sign up using the widget at the top of the column to the right of each page. Please forward my blogs to friends as well, especially anyone with an interest in mood problems, psychotherapy, or relationship conflicts.

Thanks! David

Best By a Gazillion Miles?

Best By a Gazillion Miles?

Hi Web visitors,

Here is a wonderful email I got from Lee Davie (aka the NeedyHelper, who kindly invited me on his terrific Alcohol and Addiction Podcast).

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Hi David,

I love all of your shows but the live session is the best by a gazillion miles. You have stumbled upon an incredible vein of value for so many people.

Lee

Thanks, Lee for those kind words. I am really happy you (and a number of others) have responded positive to our live therapy segments on the Feeling Good Podcasts. I agree that this is a unique way for therapists and the general public alike to learn about the new TEAM-CBT. I am also indebted to Mark, our “patient” for the broadcasts, for his big heart, compassion, and generosity.

You can listen to my weekly Feeling Good Podcasts on iTunes, or right here on this website!