The Shouldy Approach to Life–How to Crush Should Statements

Watch the David and Jill Facebook Show
this Sunday, July 22nd, 2018, 3 PM Pacific Time

Do you ever tell yourself,

  • I shouldn’t have made that mistake, or
  • I should be better than I am, or
  • I shouldn’t be so screwed up.

These self-directed Should Statements are responsible for a great deal of human misery. They trigger feelings of depression, anxiety, shame, inferiority,and hopelessness.

Other-directed Should Statements are also responsible for a great deal of human misery of a different kind. They can trigger feelings of anger, frustration, resentment and conflict with family members, friends, colleagues, and even strangers. They are also responsible for a great deal of violence and hatred between ethnic groups, religions, and nations.

Do any of the following other–directed Should Statements sound familiar?

  • You shouldn’t feel that way!
  • You shouldn’t be like that!
  • You’ve got no right to say that!
  • I’m right and you’re wrong!
  • This is all your fault!
  • What’s wrong with you! Any normal or sane person wouldn’t support X (X = this or that religion, cause or political candidate.)

Philosophers like Epictetus, spiritual teachers like the Buddha, and mental health professionals like Drs. Karen Horney and Albert Ellis, have emphasized the “tyranny of the Shoulds.” They’ve shown us how these seductive Should Statements can rob us of self-esteem, joy, and loving relationships with others. And yet, they can be incredibly difficult to smash, defeat or let go of.

Is there such a thing as healthy Should Statements? After all, Moses and his Ten Commandments are at the heart of the Jewish and Christian faiths. “Thou shalt not kill” is a Should Statement. Are we supposed to give up on our moral and religious shoulds?

And in addition, we know that we Should not drive down the freeway at 90 miles an hour, or we’ll get arrested.

And we also know that if we drop a pen, it will fall. It SHOULD fall because it has to obey the laws of nature.

  • So, what’s the difference between healthy and unhealthy Should Statements?
  • And how can we defeat the unhealthy and addictive Shoulds that make us miserable?

Tune in Sunday as Dr. Jill Levitt and i will discuss the “Shouldy” approach to life. We;ll give you some tips on how to free yourself from your he tyranny of your own Should Statements.

If you attend live, you can ask questions and be a part of the show. However, all the shows are recorded so you can tune in anytime on my Public FB page!

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High Speed, Drug Free Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders–
A Four-Day TEAM-CBT Advanced Intensive

August 6 – 9, 2018, South San Francisco Conference Center, California
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phone: 800-258-8411

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Hope to see you in Whistler in July or San Francisco in August!