062: Ask David. Five Secrets of Effective Communication / Psychotherapy Homework

Will people manipulate you if they catch on to the fact that you’re using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication? Is it fair to ask depressed patients to do psychotherapy homework between sessions when they’re already struggling with a loss of motivation?

In today’s podcast, David and Fabrice address two questions submitted by listeners:

  1. Robert asks whether it would be a problem if you are using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication (the Disarming Technique, Thought and Feeling Empathy, Inquiry, “I Feel” Statements, and Stroking) with someone who is already familiar with these techniques. Isn’t there a danger that they might see through you and  therefore thwart your efforts and manipulate you?
  2. Avi asks about the importance of psychotherapy homework in TEAM-CBT. He points out that the loss of motivation is one of the central symptoms of depression, so aren’t we in a catch 22 type of situation since patients might not have the strength and perseverance to do their homework?

David and Fabrice love your questions so keep them coming!

Fabrice and I hope you enjoy our Podcasts, and also hope you can leave some positive comments for us and some five star ratings if you like what we’re doing!


At least one listener has had problems leaving an iTunes review from his i-phone, so Fabrice has created some simple to follow instructions if you need help.

4 thoughts on “062: Ask David. Five Secrets of Effective Communication / Psychotherapy Homework

    • Thanks for your question, Phil, but I don’t understand what you’re driving at. The “death of the ego” and the Hidden Emotion Technique don’t have anything in common, at least in my mind! Maybe you’re on to something, but I’d need a bit more information, as I’m drawing a blank on this one! David

  1. Let me take a shot because I probably have misused some of the tools at times. Death of the ego can be great to make ourselves open to constructive criticism (as opposed to being defensive), and asking ourselves what part do we play in a problematic relationship.

    Death of the ego does not mean that we ignore the messages and potential wisdom our emotions send us when we feel we have been hurt or violated by others.

    At times I catch myself misusing “the death of the ego:” I shouldn’t be upset that this person did X to me because I am working on losing my ego.

    That’s my take on things David!

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